Best of Me
by dombawx
Summary: It's hard being in love with your best friend. It's even harder when you're both married with children.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Heyyyyy-**

 **So some of you might remember me uploading this a while back. I think I first published it in 2016 originally...? Yeah, 2016 sounds about right.**

 **I deleted it because I wasn't really feeling the best and for a while there I wanted to distance myself from the South Park fandom but now, looking back at it and reading some of the reviews I screenshotted I decided to not only repost it but to finish it, which I'm gonna start working on immediately. There's a few reasons for this.**

 **1\. I lowkey get a little mad when I get into a story only for it to never be finished and I don't wanna be a hypocrite.**

 **2\. I stopped caring about what people might think about me liking South Park so I'm not gonna distance myself from it anymore.**

 **3\. My girlfriend really liked this so I wanna finish it for her.**

 **4\. You never know if you're deleting someone's comfort story so if this was yours, here it is. Soon to be finished and never to be deleted again.**

 **SO THERE YA GO.**

 **Once again, here are the warnings:**

 **This fic includes cheating (Which I don't approve of. I originally wrote this because I wasn't sure what to write for Nanowrimo and my friend said I should challenge myself by writing about something I'm uncomfortable with. Sooooo here's this fic.) and mentions of abuse and character death.**

 **If any of this is gonna bother you a lot, please don't read it.**

 **Leave a review and let me know what you think :)**

 **prologue**

"Come on Craig," Clyde whined, putting his hands together in a pleading gesture as he gave me his infamous puppy dog eyes, "Play us a song. You can't just tell us you play guitar and then hold out on us, don't be a dick."

I leaned my guitar against the wall of my bedroom, freeing my hand to flip Clyde the bird. The puppy dog eyes were infamous but they just so happened to be infamous for never working. Token chuckled from his place on the floor, shaking his head before turning his attention back to his phone. Jimmy was too absorbed in the video game he'd been playing to really give any reaction to the exchange between Clyde and I, but that's probably for the best because I'm ninety nine point nine percent sure that he'd be on Clyde's side and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and listen to two people try and convince me to do something I'm dead set against doing.

"Craaaaaaaaaig," Clyde drags my name out in that special way only he can, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase." I'm about ready to flip him off with both fingers, just to show how serious I am about not giving in when another voice pipes up.

Tweek.

"I'd like to hear you play too, Craig," he says, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. He'd first started doing that because of how nervous he'd get. Back before we really got close. Tweek used to do a lot of things before we got close. He was a nervous wreck, always twitching and biting his fingernails, shifting his eyes back and forth as if on the watch for something- anything- that might be out to get him. Scratch that 'as if' part actually- he WAS on the lookout for some sort of threat. Always on edge, never having confidence in himself. That was Tweek Tweak as we'd all known him.

He hadn't changed too drastically. Tweek still had poor self esteem and he still got a little nervous from time to time, except now it usually had a semi valid reason behind it. He still occasionally looked around for imaginary enemies but he definitely wasn't as paranoid as he used to be. I couldn't help but a feel a little proud of myself for sparking that change, but it was nothing in comparison to the overwhelming pride I felt in Tweek for willing himself to continue to change.

We were sitting directly across from each other on my bed, criss cross apple sauce style. My eyes locked with his as he smiled at me shyly, waiting for my response. If it'd been anyone else, I'd probably thrown a shit fit. I sort of hate it when my friends team up against me, it always makes me feel cornered. Like there's not point in arguing anymore because I'm outmanned. But this is different because it's Tweek. It's always different with Tweek.

"Okay," I mumble, ignoring the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach when Tweek beams at me. I grab my guitar as Clyde whoops somewhere in the background, pumping his fist in victory. I'm sure Jimmy and Token are watching me now too, but all I'm focused on is the blond boy in front of me. It's weird, to be honest. I've only ever felt this way with girls before but it's like when I look at Tweek, everything else around me fades into a blur. Like he suddenly becomes the center of my universe, especially with the gravitational pull I feel toward him. Like it's natural to be drawn to him. It honestly scares me. Mainly because, the more I think about it, I've never even felt this way about a girl before. I'd felt the butterflies, the slight giddiness but all of that paled in comparison to what I felt for Tweek.

I was in eighth grade. I was in love with my best friend. And I didn't even know it yet.

I didn't think it mattered yet. I figured that we'd have time to work things out in the future. I wasn't going anywhere and neither was Tweek.

Tearing my eyes away from him so I could focus, I started to strum the strings of my guitar, not really working for any tune in particular. I'd been so lost in Tweek I hadn't even thought of what to play. I wracked my head for ideas, but unfortunately for me, my brain was all about Tweek.

I was a lovesick eighth grader coated in a thick layer of denial.

What sort of music did Tweek like? I thought of all the songs he'd linked me to over the years, trying to remember which ones he'd referred to as his favorites when I finally thought of the perfect one.

I felt a bit self conscious playing in front of all of my friends like this- I hadn't really played for anyone other than Ruby- so I closed my eyes to avoid any awkward eye contact and began to sing quietly.

"Tell me what you thought about  
When you were gone and so alone  
The worst is over  
You can have the best of me  
We got older but we're still young  
We never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up."

I open my eyes to look at Tweek, feeling my words get stuck in my throat at the sight of his face. He's watching me earnestly, with wide eyes and hands folded neatly in his lap.

Clyde snickers, "Craig, I had no idea you were such a romantic." He lets out a little oomph as Jimmy elbows him, giving him stink-eye before grinning at me encouragingly.

"You're puh...pre...puhretty good, Craig. You could ruh-really make somethin' of yourself," He states matter-of-factly, Token nodding his head in agreement.

"Thanks," I say sincerely, giving them a rare smile. Most people would say me smiling meant the end of days was near, but these guys were used to it. I never had much trouble showing some positive emotion around them. I definitely never had trouble smiling around Tweek.

I turn to look at him and feel my heart skip a beat at the astonished look on his face.

"You're so talented…." He whispers softly, his mouth slightly agape. I feel my face heat up, and hope to every higher power that my cheeks aren't turning red. And then, as if Tweek hadn't made me feel flustered enough that day, he leaned forward, speaking in a quiet voice that only the two of us could hear, "You could probably do whatever you set your mind to."

...

That's how I always remember us.

The five of us sitting in my room- or sometimes Clyde's, or Token's, or Jimmy's, or Tweek's. We rotated around a lot, sometimes not even sitting in someone's room at all. Sometimes we wandered around the woods, or dicked around at Stark's pond or went to go torment Tweek while he worked his shift at his parents coffee shop.

Maybe it'd be more accurate to say that I remember all of us being _together,_ giving each other shit and not caring about anything other than what we were gonna do that day or how we were gonna one up Stan's loser squad. Yeah, that sounds about right. I remember us all being together.

I remember me and Tweek being together.

A lot of people seemed to think we were gay and I can't really say I blame them. We were always side by side, leaving little space between us as we walked down the halls. Hell, there were even those times we'd held hands just so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd. Personal space didn't exist with me and Tweek. We pressed our legs against each others at the lunch table, he fell asleep on my shoulder whenever he wanted and I was known to casually throw my arm around his shoulders and pull him close for no reason whatsoever. We just liked having each other close.

We talked about everything and anything, spending hours on the phone with each other to the point that my dad started to nag me about the phone bill, "Only two hours on the phone today, Craig, I mean it this time! You don't pay bills here!"

We passed notes to each other in class constantly and we'd been caught more than a few times by our teacher, who forced us to read them out loud to the class for punishment. It was always funny, seeing the incredulous looks on their faces as they tried to figure out what the hell me and Tweek had been talking about. Our conversations were like that- even with context, no one but us really understood what was going on. Token once said that it seemed like we weren't even talking about the same thing sometimes. It was weirdly satisfying to me, knowing that Tweek and I seemed to have developed our own language that only we could ever really understand.

Every aspect of our friendship was satisfying to me actually. I liked that you couldn't think of me without thinking of Tweek too. I liked that people thought of us in the same way you'd think of ketchup and mustard or peanut butter and jelly. Always together, two things that complimented each other nicely.

There was only one thing about it that I'd change.

"C'mon dude, I'm your best friend. You can't hide shit from me, I know you like Tweek," Clyde said, talking in an unusually serious tone. I rolled my eyes at him, preparing to flip him off but he grabbed my hand and held my fingers down with his own before I could do anything, staring at me seriously. "Craig, I know you all think I'm stupid but I know shit. We live in a small town. Do you know what that means?"

"That we all see way too much of each other?"

"No! ….Well, I mean yes. But it means a lot of us are gonna end up marrying each other and…." Clyde bit his lip, chewing it in thought. Finally, he let out a deep breath, "I'm just looking out for you, bro. You don't want someone else to nab him before you get the chance to."

"Clyde, for fucks sake, we're in eighth grade."

"I know, I know! I'm just sayin' dude! A lot of people end up marrying their high school sweethearts, I mean, Stan'll probably end up hitched to Wendy!"

"That doesn't mean anything," I huff, turning away from Clyde.

He grabs my shoulder, spinning me around to face him again. "You've gotta let Tweek know how you feel."

I swat his hand away, glaring. "I'm not gay and neither is he! Stop trying to make things weird, Clyde." I hear a locker slam in the distance and the sound of feet hurriedly shuffling away but think nothing of it. Clyde shakes his head at me.

"You can't live your life in denial, Craig, I see how you guys look at each other."

He has a point, I realize, but saying this out loud isn't something I feel like doing. No way am I giving Clyde the satisfaction of being right again because contrary to popular belief, the guys intuition is almost always right. I pull out my iPod and put my headphones in to signal the end of the conversation before walking away from him. I open up the playlist I have labeled as 'Tweek's Gay Music', smirking at the memory of when I'd named it that.

" _It's not gay! It's meaningful!" Tweek had pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and trying his damned hardest to look pissed at me. I snorted, scrolling through the playlist to pull up a particular song._

" _'My Girl's Ex Boyfriend'? Really Tweek? Did you get all of these from AMV's?" I say it as a joke but a shiteating grin slowly spreads across my face when I see Tweek staring down at his hands quietly, cheeks aflame with redness. "Oh my God, you're a weeaboo."_

 _Tweek shoved me, "Shut up!" he squeaked. He continued to glare at me until he suddenly thought of something. It sort of looked like a little lightbulb went on in his head. "Wait…." A smug little smile made it's way on his features, "How would you know those songs were from AMV's, Craig?"_

 _Now it was my turn to be quiet._

" _I think Terrence and Phillip is starting now…."_

I scrolled through the list of songs before stopping at the one I'd played for everyone just a few days before. I remembered Tweek's face when I'd finished singing and the way he made me feel. I remembered a hundred other little things about him at once, suddenly, like the way he ran his hands over the front of his shirt when he was feeling particularly antsy, or how he'd click his tongue when he was frustrated. The way his nose scrunched up when he laughed, how he'd absentmindedly run his fingers through his messy blond hair when he was focused on something.

I groan inwardly at the further evidence of Clyde being right. I like Tweek and I should tell him.

'But not today,' I'd told myself, 'We have plenty of time,' I'd said.

Maybe if I'd known how things played out then, I would have grown some damn balls and marched up to Tweek and spouted off a bunch of poetic, romantic bullshit that would have swept him off his shaky feet and into my arms. Maybe then we would have gotten even closer, gotten to go on dates and share firsts with each other as we got older. Maybe we could have even gone off to college together. if we made it through high school, somewhere far away from the town everyone in it claimed to hate. Maybe we would have even gotten married or something. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Those are all a bunch of maybes. They'll only ever be maybes because I was too chicken shit to say anything. Or maybe I was too stubborn. Too stupid.

Whatever the case, it cost me.

Because you know what wasn't a maybe?

The sight of my cousin, Red Tucker, leaning against a locker as she gazed up at Tweek, talking to him in a voice I'd never heard her use before. Red was usually pretty snarky and sometimes her voice leaked so much sarcasm I had a hard time telling if she was being serious about anything ever. But that day- and every day after that- when I heard her talking to Tweek, her voice sounded gentle and sweet. In that moment, when I began to walk up behind her with the intent of getting to Tweek, she even sounded sort of nervous.

I watched from behind her as she lowered her head and asked a question that made me freeze in my tracks.

"…..so, uh, what do ya say? Do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep my mouth from falling open. I didn't even know Red liked Tweek. Every time Red had been over my house at the same time as Tweek- be it for a family holiday or just her and her dad visiting or those times she came over to hang out with Ruby- they'd barely interacted besides a few polite greetings and awkwardly standing next to each other while they waited for me to come back from whatever it was I left to do.

Tweek would say no. I knew him well enough to know that. I felt bad for Red, putting herself out there just to get rejected, though I found some relief in knowing that Tweek would at least be nice about it. He didn't really have it in him to be mercilessly cruel over something like that.

We locked eyes over her shoulder for just a second before he looked back at her. I held my breath, waiting to hear how he'd turn her down.

"Yes."

I felt my heart sink so low in my body that I could have sworn it was what was weighing down my feet. He said yes. I turned away from them, dragging my heavy feet away as fast I possibly could, feeling nauseous, a million thoughts racing through my head. He said yes. He liked her back. I was all wrong. They probably did talk while I was gone. God, he probably thought of her all the time. I end up in the boys bathroom and lock myself in a stall, plopping down on the toilet seat and grabbing fistfuls of my hair, tugging harshly as if it'll make me stop thinking of Tweek with Red. Ironically, this makes me think of them even more as it's a total Tweek thing to do. I'm usually not like this. I don't know what's gotten into me. Maybe it's what Clyde said earlier about most people marrying their high school sweethearts. Tweek marrying Red crossed my mind. Tweek spending the rest of his life with her, not me. Tweek looking at her the way he did me, Tweek feeling the way I felt when he smiled at me, except feeling it for her instead. My face felt wet and suddenly I realize I've been crying. I drag my arm across my face to rid myself of the tears. I'm overreacting. We're only in middle school. They'll date for two weeks and be done with it. This is nothing to cry over.

Tweek won't stay with her.

...

Tweek doesn't hang out with us much after that.

What was once Tweek and Craig, the inseparable duo, becomes Tweek and Red, the cutest couple to grace South Park with their presence. What used to be us hunched over comic books in the dead of night becomes him and her sharing earbuds and listening to what I'd dubbed his gay music. What was once us teaming up to pelt Clyde and Token with snowballs, calling ourselves the dream team, becomes Red and Tweek holding hands while ice skating down at Stark's Pond. Our Terrence and Phillip marathons are forgotten in favor of what he calls 'Shitty Movie Night' with Red, which he describes as them watching the most terrible movies they can find just to make fun of it together. He goes from wearing my Red Racer t-shirt underneath his button up to showing up to school one day with a bright blue streak in his hair, which he reveals to us was put there by Red, who shows him off to her friends proudly.

"See? Red and blue! Cute, huh?" She gushes, her arms wrapped around Tweek's torso as she gives him a loving squeeze. He has one of his arms around her too, and I notice he has a tendency to rub small circles into her side with his thumb. I hate that I notice it because I can't get it out of my head. I can't help but wish it was me wrapped around him like that.

He even stops sitting with us at lunch, preferring to sit with Red and her friends. I'd silently hoped they'd get annoyed with the lovey dovey couple, but to my annoyance, none of them care. I almost complain about it to the guys but stop when I realize our own table has been invaded as well. As we enter high school, Bebe and Nichole end up spending a lot of time at our table and eventually, Token, Clyde and Jimmy act as though Tweek had never been there. The questions of "You think Tweek's gonna sit with us again any time soon?" and "I wonder why he doesn't just bring Red over here, do you think she doesn't like us?" that used to let me know I wasn't the only one noticing and being affected by Tweek's absence soon fade into nothing.

Whenever Tweek does hang out with us, I feel conflicted- my emotions ranging from 'I'm glad to have you back' to 'Please stop feeding my imagination, go away'. Sometimes when he's with us, it feels like old times. Like how it was before he got with Red. He'll smile at me just like he used to and every now and again he'll lay his legs out over mine like he never stopped and my heart will swell with joy.

And then there are other times, that make me feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest. Time where I learn things I wish hadn't happened or at least didn't ever have to hear about.

My stomach twists into a knot one day in junior year when Clyde yanks Tweek's striped scarf off to reveal a large hickey at the front of his neck- and several more smaller marks trailing downward before disappearing underneath his shirt.

"God Tweek, did you get attacked by a leech?!" Clyde remarks, tugging at Tweek's shirt collar. I press my lips into a hard line as Tweek's face goes red, hurrying to cover the offending marks with his hands.

"Like you don't have any Clyde," he mutters, eyes narrowing. I don't get to hear what Clyde says in response because my mind is already running wild with thoughts I never wanted in there.

Red all over Tweek. I could barely handle her kissing him and now I couldn't stop thinking of her sucking at his neck, drawing out sounds I'd never get to hear myself. What's worse is thinking of him returning the favor, which I try to convince myself he wouldn't do. 'He's not like that,' I tell myself.

I swallow a lump in my throat later that weekend, when Red proves me wrong by showing up at my house wearing Tweek's shirt and sporting marks of her own.

But that still isn't the worst part of all this.

No, the worst part was playing Never Have I Ever and seeing Tweek put a finger down when Token says he's never had sex.

No, no, the worst is having to give Tweek relationship advice- having to listen to every detail of him and Red those few times we actually do hang out because I'm the best friend and that's my job.

No wait, the worst part is having to keep a straight face through all of this, never being able to do anything about the fluttery feeling I still get when I'm with Tweek that's only grown stronger over the years and not only because he's taken but because he's taken _by my cousin._

Or, or maybe the worst part is when Red gets on my case about me being single and decides to put me on a blind date with Jenny Simon, and when I try to refuse, she pushes it by saying, "Tweek's the one that suggested this!"

No.

No, I know what the worst part is.

...

When I was a kid, I hated church for the sole fact that it was boring. I'd rather spend my time playing with my friends or watching reruns of Red Racer than sit still for an hour, squished in between my sister and mother. Now I had a new reason to dislike it.

I stood silently behind Tweek as he and Red exchanged their vows, trying not to look heartbroken. Red was practically glowing with happiness, her hair pinned back in a fancy updo that suited her surprisingly well and a lacy, v-necked wedding gown. She wasn't much of a blushing bride, as she was radiating confidence as always, but she sure did look gorgeous. Tweek was a lucky guy.

His hair was slicked back and though his suit was admittedly clumsy looking with the way he'd put it on- tie loosely tied and his buttons not buttoned correctly- I still couldn't help but think he looked gorgeous too.

The I do's were exchanged, they kissed, my heart broke in two, blah blah blah, you know how it goes.

Red throws the bouquet and of all people, it's Jenny Simon who catches it.

Tweek nudges me with his elbow, smiling fondly at me. My heart jumps.

"I hope you find someone that makes you feel like you're walking on air someday, too," he tells me just as softly as he did that day I sang to him and the others.

I swallow a lump in my throat.

I don't have it in me to tell him I already did.


	2. Chapter 2

Boxes.

Boxes everywhere.

I don't know how I wound up back in South Park, but here I am. It's been years and the place is exactly as I remember it so far. It's a little weird not being at my parents. I'd never really lived separately from them in South Park before, but I can't say I miss it much. The nice thing about being back is having my family just a few blocks away, so if Jen and I ever need an on call babysitter, my mom and Ruby are more than willing to step up to the plate.

That was one of the more logical reasons Jenny gave me for wanting to move back here, along with the fact that they were offering higher paying jobs for doctors down at Hell's Pass Hospital, so it'd be good for the family income. "We could buy Todd that new bike he's been wanting," she'd said, flipping through a Toys R Us magazine. She did that a lot, my wife. Jenny had a habit of showering our kids with gifts, whether it be something they're actually interested in or something she THINKS they're interested in. Even though she would never say it out loud, I know she's trying to compensate for hardly ever being there.

In that way, she reminds me of my dad. Jenny means well, she really does. I know she loves our kids, but I also know that deep down, she loves her job more. She's wanted to be a doctor her whole life and now that she finally is one, she spends at least ninety five percent of her time down at the hospital. At first, I was the only one that noticed. Patricia and Todd had been too young, but eventually, they started to notice too. At every baseball game Jenny missed, I could see Todd's eyes scanning the stands for her and the way his face fell when he realized she wasn't there. He always knows she won't make it, but he still looks for her every time. It hurts, watching my son do this every single time. It hurts even more watching him try to reach out to her. It's hard to believe Todd's my son sometimes, with the way he cares too much about certain things and how naive he can be. I was never like that with my father. When he brushed me off, I turned to my mother. I wasn't going to beg him to treat me the way I deserved.

My daughter, Patricia, is more like me.

She has her mothers warm, brown eyes but the rest of her is all me. Patricia, or as she prefers to be called, Trish, wears the same bored yet annoyed expression on her face that I do and at twelve years old is already threatening to tower over her mother in height. Trish isn't like her younger brother at all. She was seven when she noticed Jenny wasn't showing up to her soccer games. She was eight when she realized Jenny had no idea what she was into and didn't seem interested in finding out. She was the same age when she confided in me that she didn't feel like Jenny was her mother at all. Trish was nine when she stopped caring.

My kids are kind of funny in how different they are.

I sit in the middle of our living room, my ass feeling a bit uncomfortable from being on hardwood flooring for most of the day as I sorted through our things. I'm finally at the last box and have to force myself not to rush, to go slow and make sure it's done right. It's hard to convince myself to do this when I'm being taunted by several empty boxes piled up around the area, stacked on top of the coffee table and sofa, and even a few blocking the stairway. I pull out a few things from the box Jenny had dubbed the name of 'Memories', as shown by the writing scribbled across the front of it in blue sharpie, smiling fondly when my fingers find my children's baby pictures. Looking at their chubby cheeks and gummy little smiles, it's hard to believe my babies are in fourth and sixth grade.

If there's anything good that came out of my obviously failed relationship with Jenny, it's my little ones. I've got a shitload of regrets in life, but those two- I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Not even the man that made me all the more eager to leave South Park in the first place.

"Whatcha lookin' at, pops?"

I look up from the photographs to face my daughter. Her eyes bore into mine as I give her a sheepish smile, holding up her baby picture. "Just my little princess," I coo. She rolls her eyes before giving me the finger- I know I should probably punish her or something for doing that, but god damn, my heart swells with pride every single time she does it- and moving to sit down next to me.

"You mean queen," she deadpans, as if this was a universal fact. I chuckle, watching as she reaches into the box and rummages around through the sea of memories Jenny and I have collected over the years. She forms a decently sized stack of pictures, shuffling through them and studying each one with expert focus. One in particular seems to capture her interest as her gaze lingers longer than with the others, and after what seems like forever, she turns it toward me. "Who are these guys?"

The picture she's holding up is of me, Token, Clyde, Jimmy and Tweek. We're all smiling with our arms wrapped around each other loosely, our faces squishing together as we huddled up in order for all of us to fit in the picture. I blink, staring at it for a bit, reality hitting me. I hadn't seen these guys in years. Thirteen years to be exact. We all look so close and comfortable with each other in the picture, it's hard to believe that I don't even know what's going on in any of their lives anymore. Shit, they didn't even know I was back. I didn't even know if they were still here. Trish clears her throat, pulling me out of my thoughts. She's watching me expectantly, one of her eyebrows raised as if asking, "What's the holdup?"

"Just some old buddies of mine," I shrug. Trish merely hums quietly in response before going back to shuffling and I can't help but wonder if she's thinking about the friends she left behind in Minnesota. My daughter had never really been a social butterfly, but she did have two or three girls that she'd mentioned more than twice and had occasionally brought over for play dates. On the way here, she'd kept her eyes fixed on one of the little going away cards she'd received and even though before I'd been sure she wasn't very close to anybody her age, I suddenly found myself wondering if I was wrong about her. It wouldn't be much of a surprise, it's not like I had my eyes on her 24/7. For all I knew, Trish spent every minute away from me with whoever gave her the bright, sparkly pink card covered in rainbows and hearts that she couldn't tear her eyes away from.

It's times like this where I wonder if I'm as bad as Jenny when it comes to our kids and knowing certain things about them.

My kids are ten and twelve and I'm not really sure if either of them have ever had best friend.

Jenny seems to have picked up on this too, which is surprising to say the least.

Later that night, she graces us with her presence at the dinner table, chattering on about her day at work. "Guess who I ran into today, Craig?" She says between bites of casserole I'd made earlier that day after going through old pictures with Trish, "Nelly! From grade school, remember her? She brought her sons in for a checkup and my _god,_ do they look like Kyle!" I choke a little on my drink. Kyle reproduced? With a woman? With _Nelly?_ Jenny continues, waving her hands around now as she talks, "You'd think at least one would have brown hair, but they're both little redheads. Healthy as can be, too." Her eyes flicker over to Todd, "Her younger boy's in the same grade as Todd, so maybe they'll make friends. Wouldn't that be nice, Todd?"

My son's eyes light up, delighted just to be acknowledged by his normally distant mother, and he nods his head eagerly. Jenny grants him a bright smile, now turning her gaze to Trish. "Charlotte stopped by with her daughter too," she reported, obviously trying to sound casual. I already could tell what she was thinking and watched my twelve year old for her reaction. She was currently invested in tormenting her food, stabbing at it with her fork and moving it around her plate. "Lola came up to us as we were talking and gave us a great idea. We're going to invite some of the other girls in Patricia's grade over for a sleepover Friday so she can make some friends," she finally addresses our daughter directly, "Wouldn't that be nice, sweetie?"

"It sounds like it'd be awkward," Trish states bluntly, continuing on with her torture of the casserole. I catch the slight hint of annoyance in her voice and silently hope Jenny didn't notice. Unlike me, Jenny's not a huge fan of our daughter's attitude toward everything, once in a while even telling me, "We have to do something about Patricia's shitty attitude," and is quick to scold her whenever it appears.

Luckily for me, Jenny is in one of her super mom moods, where she's suddenly this hands-on-mom that's all about reaching out to her kids and understanding them. She never chews Trish out when she's like this. I have to keep myself from breathing a sigh of relief (I hate it when she yells at our kids.) as she presses the issue, "Well, it's always awkward when you first meet people, honey! You'll thank me for this later, it's always good to have a network of friends." Trish nearly hums in response to her mother, shoveling spoonfuls of casserole into her mouth. Satisfied with this, Jenny goes back to her food, not bothering to make any more conversation that night until she hands me a grocery list. "Make sure you stop by the supermarket tomorrow, okay? We're out of milk." I grunt in response, taking the list out of her hands and folding it up so it can fit into my wallet.

That night, I silently hope that maybe I won't run into anyone I know at the supermarket.

I'm not exactly ready for any reunions, I need at least another week to mentally prepare myself for the countless "where the fuck have you been" s I'll no doubt receive.

Unfortunately for me, South Park is a small town.

...

I pull up to South Park elementary with the full intent of just dropping the kids off and leaving. I had no plans to walk them in, there wasn't really any need to. The school knew they were coming. It's only when Todd stares at me with wide eyes that I change my mind, ending up walking through the school's front doors clasping one of Todd's hands. He's looking around the school nervously, taking in the scenery with shifty eyes.

It looks exactly as I remember it, flags with cows faces on them hanging from the banisters and the walls an earthy green. It's slightly comforting to see the building hasn't changed much. "We'll take Trish to her class first and then we'll go to yours, okay?" I say to my younger child, looking down at him and saying the words slowly so he doesn't miss a single one. His little eyebrows furrow together as he nods. He hates it when I talk to him like that because it's the way I spoke to him when we were trying to get him to start talking. It took him way longer than Trish to start talking, so I'd started speaking more carefully to him to make sure he absorbed every single word. It's a habit I never fully dropped.

We stop in front of Trish's class and I let go of Todd's hand so I can fix my daughter's hair. There's no need for it really, her raven hair always stays flat and in place, but she won't let me help her with anything else so I take advantage of the little things she can't immediately stop me from doing. She swats at my hands, frowning at me as I run my fingers through her hair. "Knock it off, dad."

"I just want to make sure you're presentable," I mumble, taking my hands away from her hair to straighten out her jacket. She grumbles a bit, but doesn't stop me, instead shoving her hands into her pockets and just waiting for me to be done. It's only when I hear a familiar voice call my name that I leave her alone.

"Craig? Craig Tucker? Dude, is that you?"

I blink, recognizing who it is immediately, and whip my head around to see Clyde Donovan standing before me with a girl my daughter's age in tow. She's shorter than Trish and she has Clyde's eyes, but her hair is wavier than his and when she smiles at me and my kids, she reveals rainbow colored braces. My eyes wander to her hand which is wrapped around my old best friend's and I slowly realize that she's his daughter. "Craig?" He says again, making my head snap up to gawk at him again. I nod, not really being able to force any words out of my mouth.

All I can think of is every single stupid thing Clyde had ever said or done in our younger days- The most clear memory being of the time he'd somehow convinced me to go skinny dipping in the dead of winter with him, which clearly had been a stupid idea no matter how you put it. We'd wound up sick for a week straight.

'That guys in charge of another human being now,' I think to myself. 'He's a father.'

I can practically feel my world spinning off it's axis as he throws his arms around me in a bear hug, squeezing me so hard that I swear I feel every bone in my body crack. "What the hell! Why didn't you tell me you were back!? You've been gone so long dude, how have you been?! I missed you and oh my god, are these your KIDS?!" He rambles excitedly, letting me go to inspect my children. He kneels down a bit to get eye level with Todd, looking back and forth between him and Trish, "Look at these two! They look just like you!"

I crack a small smile, "Thanks," I say softly, gesturing toward his daughter, "Yours takes after you, too." At this, Clyde's grin somehow manages to grow even wider as he stands up and wraps an arm around his child, pulling her close.

"Thanks man! I think she looks more like Bebe though," He suddenly pushes her toward Trish, watching them with expectant eyes. "Nancy, look! A new little friend for you, isn't that exciting?" Even though he's talking to her like she's five or something, Nancy only lets out bubbly laughter, holding her hand out to Trish, who stares at it for a few minutes before pulling one of her hands out of her pockets to shake it. Nancy links their fingers together and before I know it, she's lead my kid away and into the classroom. I fight a frown. I didn't even get to finish saying goodbye. Clyde nudges me with his elbow, his eyes locked on the door they disappeared behind. "They're totally going to be as close as we were."

I don't really have the heart to tell him that my daughter's allergic to people, so instead I nod in agreement and take Todd's hand again, walking away from Clyde. He follows after us though, peering over at my son with curious eyes. "So what's the little guys name?"

Todd glances at me for permission and when I nod, he turns to Clyde shyly. "I'm Todd."

"Todd, huh? How are you liking South Park so far?"

"It's nice. I like being close to grandma and grandpa."

They carry on with their little conversation until we finally reach Todd's classroom. It's funny how fast Todd warms up to Clyde, but then again, Clyde was the type of guy everybody was friends with. Sure, he was quick to cry and could be a little conceited from time to time, but for the most part, he was a nice guy. You could always talk to him about any problems you had and he'd take you seriously, even if no one else did. Not many people turned to him though, since Clyde normally acted like such a goofball, you wouldn't really take him as the kind of guy.

"This is our stop," I say, interrupting whatever Clyde was telling Todd about his popularity in high school. Probably bragging about how he was number one on the girls list back in fourth grade. He never really did let that go. I straighten out Todd's clothes like I did with Trish and then wipe a smudge off of his face with my thumb that I hadn't noticed earlier before ruffling his hair. "Be good," I gently remind him and he gives me a cheeky grin as nods enthusiastically, waving goodbye to me and Clyde before entering his classroom.

Clyde elbows me to get my attention as we begin moving away from the classroom, and when I look at him he's giving me an amused smile. "You're such a _dad,_ dude," he laughs, clapping me on the back. I can't help but laugh a little too. It's nice to know that it's just as weird for Clyde to see me as a father as it is for me to see him as one. "So what have you been up to all these years? You still a mechanic?"

"Yup, now that I'm back, I'm going to be helping out at Ruby's shop."

"That's _awesome_ , man! What about Jenny? What's she up to nowadays?"

"Working down at Hell's Pass," I inform him as we walk out of the school. We stop on the sidewalk, facing each other now. I hadn't really wanted to talk to anyone before- not yet, at least- but now that I was already talking to Clyde, I found that I didn't really want to stop. I guess I missed my best friend more than I thought. "That's the whole reason we moved back here, actually. They offered her a sweet deal and she couldn't pass it up."

"Well, it's great to have you back! I've gotta get goin' to work soon, but hit me up sometime! We've got a lot of catching up to do, you asshole. How dare you not call your best friend in the world for thirteen years! I should kick your ass!" Clyde jokes, giving my shoulder a playful shove.

I smirk, raising my fists up as if I were going to swing at him. "Come at me, Donovan." He chuckles again, but then his face softens up. I can tell he missed us messing around like this and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it too- even if I hadn't realized before. Clyde and I had our days, but at the end of each one, we were still best friends. Further proof of that was how we were able to snap back to the way things were after thirteen years of not speaking. I make a mental note to never go that long without talking to him again.

"It really is good to have you back, Craig."

He starts to walk off when I remember something. "Hey Clyde?" I call after him. He stops, turning around to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Nancy's invited to Trish's sleepover on Friday."

...

After my reunion with Clyde, I feel a strange kind of adrenaline rush coursing through me as I drive down to the supermarket. That actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn't bad at all. I'd fully expected him to be angry at me for suddenly cutting him out of my life for no reason but he'd acted as though we'd never stopped talking in the first place. It was nice. No doubt we were probably going to have a serious talk about why I left later on, but the fact that he didn't bring it up immediately showed how much he'd matured over the years. Weirdly enough, this observation actually makes me a little sad. I wonder what else changed about him. I actually sort of start to wonder what's changed about everyone else but then I realize I don't actually care.

Except that I do.

I wonder how Token and Jimmy have changed, and if they have families now too. It was easy to think of Token being a father, he'd always been really chill and kind. If he did have kids, he was probably a really good dad. I have a harder time thinking of Jimmy as one. He just never seemed like the type to settle down. I always figured he'd be one of those big time comedians that partied all the time.

There's another person on my mind as well, but I push him to the very back and try to ignore him. I've spent the last thirteen years doing this and I'm a pro at it now. If I don't think about him, I won't miss him.

I park my car and enter the supermarket armed with the grocery list Jenny gave me when I find myself surrounded by faces from my past. It's then that I remember why I hadn't wanted to run into anybody- I didn't like everybody like I did Clyde or any of my other old friends. The four people I dislike the most just so happen to be the very first ones I see when I first step into the store, though they're not all in one place.

Stan Marsh is now overweight, and I see him next to a chubby woman that could only be Wendy. Her hair is shorter now, shoulder length and neatly tied back into a tight ponytail. She's dressed professionally and looks way out of Stan's league. Stan himself, dons a brown button up and gray khakis. They're waiting in line to check out and don't see me, so I push my cart along in the opposite direction.

….Which just so happens to be where Kyle and Nelly are. They have their backs toward me but I'd recognize Kyle's large, curly hair anywhere. I can't really make out what they're wearing, but they look pretty thin and Nelly's hair is in a loose bun. As I move my cart toward the produce section, I spot Eric Cartman bickering over something with Heidi. He's put on even more weight and has a gross goatee. Heidi looks like she's tired, rubbing her temples as I pass them, thankfully not catching Cartman's attention.

I'm surprised by my luck of being able to avoid all three of them but I'm unfortunately reminded that there's a fourth one when someone else's cart rams into mine. I look over to see who was pushing the offending cart and feel sort of irritated when a ten year old kid stares back at me. He has dirty blond hair and light freckles scattered around his face. His tattered clothing reminds me of someone I once knew and just as I'm about to ask this kid where the hell his parents are, I'm greeted by none other than Kenny McCormick.

"Sorry, sorry!" he sputters, rushing over to retrieve the child I assume to be his. He wraps his arms around the boys waist, yanking him off of the cart that he'd ridden into mine. "Billy, I thought I told you to watch where you're goin'!" Kenny's voice is stern in a way I'd never heard it before, and his son lowers his head in shame.

"I'm sorry, pa! I forgot!"

Kenny sighs, turning toward me, still holding his kid. "I'm so sorry, he's usually not like-" He stops mid sentence, squinting his eyes as he stares at me. "Do I know you from somewhere?" I stay silent and I must be wearing that done-with-your-shit look on my face everyone's so used to seeing because Kenny looks a bit nervous as he tilts his head in confusion. "I don't owe you money, do I?"

"No, unless you want to pay me back for that time you got me sent to Peru," I grumble, watching as the wheels finally begin to turn in his head. His jaw drops as he gives his kid a squeeze, eyes widening in shock.

"Craig Tucker? What the hell? I thought I'd never see you again!"

"I hoped I'd never see you again."

"Aw, don't be like that. We had some good times together, remember that animal show we worked on together? Uh, wideshot cute animals or something like that?"

"Close-up Animals With a Wide Angle Lens," I clarify.

"Right, right. Dude- You know- Someone told me you were dead," Kenny finally sets his kid down and the little troublemaker races toward the cereal section, probably off to find his mother to spare himself from listening to the grown ups "catch up". I don't really blame him, I used to do the same thing whenever my mom ran into an old friend at the supermarket. Things usually got uncomfortable really fast and I knew way more details about my mom's old love life then I'd ever wanted to. The difference here is, Kenny's never really been my friend and I don't plan on standing around and talking to him all day.

"Oh really?" I mumble as I glance at my grocery list. Apples, milk, cereal, blah blah blah. I begin picking up apples and inspecting them for bruises as Kenny chatters on, not seeming to get the hint that I'm not interested in talking to him.

"Yeah, I mean, you dropped off the face of the earth without really tellin' anybody so a lot of us just assumed you died or some shit. And by a lot of us, just me, Cartman, Marjorine and Tweek really- Everyone else just figured ya moved or somethin'- oh and if you bump into Marjorine, for the love of God, don't call her Butters, she came out as trans a few years back and that'd be a real dick thing to do-" I raise my hand up to stop him from talking, heart suddenly pounding in my chest as I stare at him with wide eyes, apples completely forgotten.

"Tweek thinks I'm dead?"

"I'm not sure if he still does, I haven't really talked to him in a while. I've got my hands full with six kids. You know how he is though, he still thinks gnomes steal his underwear and that aliens are gonna probe him or somethin'. He's actually gotten way worse over the years-"

"Stop talking," I blurt out, hating the way my voice cracked just the tiniest bit. I'd spent so long actively avoiding anything Tweek that hearing about him again brings back every memory I have of him and I feel my stomach doing backflips. Kenny notices my discomfort, asking me a question I don't hear as I push my cart away from him, suddenly in a hurry to get through Jenny's damn list.

I'm lucky because I don't run into anybody else as I finish my shopping and once I'm in the safety of my car, I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. It's been thirteen years since I've seen Tweek. I haven't even talked to him since his wedding. I should be over him.

I have kids now, I tell myself. I can't hold on to this anymore, can't let this break my heart anymore. Tweek is married to Red and I'm married to Jenny. We've both moved on. I have two kids that mean the world to me. There's no point in hurting over a guy that never felt anything for me.

The radio seems to be in tune with my feelings, as Shawn Desman sings to me through the speakers,

" _Why does it hurt so bad?  
You were never mine from the start.  
Why does it hurt so bad?  
It feels like an arrow going through my heart.  
Why does it hurt so bad?  
Like you and me was meant to be.  
Why does it hurt so bad?  
I don't know that's why it hurts so bad."_

I shake my head, breathing in and out for a few moments before starting my car. I'm a grown ass man. My high school heartbreak is behind me. This is the last of it, I tell myself. No more hurting over Tweek.

If only it was that easy.

...

After the store, I'd decided that I'd had enough human interaction for one day and opted to stay indoors. With the kids at school and Jenny at work, it gave me time to really look around our new home. All of the floors are hardwood, which is convenient because getting stains out of carpet is a pain in the ass and knowing how messy my kids and even I can get, that was a problem we would have run into sooner or later. The walls on the first floor are painted a murky gray, but each of the bedrooms are coated in different colors. Todd's room is the ugliest shade of yellow I've ever seen and I'd wanted to paint over the eyesore, but for whatever reason, my son likes it and refused to let me step foot in there with anything even slightly resembling a paint can or paint brush. Trish's room is a dark shade of red, almost passing for burgundy. And then me and Jenny's room is a baby blue, which is strangely calming. She let me put up some of my old Red Racer posters in our room, under the condition that she got to plaster her posters of the Queef Sisters on her side of the room. Our rooms pretty dull beside that, only having two nightstands on either side of the queen sized bed, a small table lamp sitting on one of them and framed family photo of our children on the other.

Trish's room is messy already, her room almost completely covered with the several Spy Sisters posters she'd collected over the years. The show had only come out when she was six, but every Friday night since it's premiere she's dutifully seated directly in front of the television, completely absorbed in the episode playing. Her obsession with the show rivaled my own with Red Racer. Her closet was practically full of Spy Sisters shirts and action figures from the show, even having magazines that so much as mentioned them stacked in a large pile at the foot of her bed. Her notebooks are scattered across the floor, page after page filled with fanart. It's cute that she's so passionate about something.

Todd's room is neater, everything organized and labeled just the way he likes it. Terrence and Phillip is still on after all these years and he has two of their figurines propped up on his desk, right next to all of his other action figures. His video games are sorted in alphabetically ordered and he has his clothes folded in bins labeled summer, fall, winter, spring. He's taped a few pictures to the wall and I feel a little bad when I go over and see that they're all of his old friends from Minnesota. I'd been so concerned for Trish, I'd forgotten all about Todd and his friends. He was so cheerful most of the time it was easy to forget that he had problems too.

You have to be better at this, I tell myself. Your son is only human, you have to be there for him too.

I jump when I suddenly hear a door slam and hear footsteps running up the stairs. I glance at the rocket ship alarm clock on Todd's nightstand, eyes popping open when I see what time it is. School's out and the kids are home, just in time to catch me snooping. The last thing I want is for Todd to think I'm some super invasive parent that tears his room apart looking for evidence of God knows what. I make a mad dash for the door, thinking maybe I can get out of there before I'm caught but that hope is crushed when I open it to see Todd standing there, his hand extended a bit as if he was going for the doorknob. "Dad?" He looks puzzled, to say the least. We stare at each for a few awkward moments before I notice the two boys standing behind him. They're about the same height and look strikingly familiar to two people I'd known when I was Todd's age. "Oh!" Todd suddenly gasps, realizing he hasn't introduced us, "Dad, this is Conner Marsh and Wyatt Broflovski. They're my new best friends." He grins up at me before entering his room with his two new friends in tow, a dramatic no echoing in my head.

I don't want my son to be the new Kenny McCormick or Eric Cartman.

Sure, I'd hung around them from time to time but best friend status? Ha, no. As fun as they could sort of be sometimes, I needed a break. Todd doesn't know what he's getting himself into. I try to reason with myself that maybe these two aren't like their parents but something tells me I'm dead wrong. I'm suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when I hear voices coming from Trish's room.

She must have brought Nancy home.

I sigh in relief that at least one of my kids has good taste in friends, retreating downstairs to start dinner. If Nancy was anything like Clyde or Bebe, then I had nothing to worry about. If Conner and Wyatt were anything like Stan and Kyle, I had everything to worry about. The whole time I'm cooking I can't help but picture my son stranded in the middle of Africa or some other far off place, fighting off pirates or aliens or whatever else there was to fuck with. I cringe, remembering some of the more alarming situations they'd gotten us into. None of us have forgotten that sticky situation Cartman had gotten us into with those older men, though we did have a silent agreement to just not bring it up.

If I was any other kind of parent, I'd probably forbid Todd from seeing them or something, but instead, I decide it's better to trust him to make good decisions. I have to believe he's smart enough to stay out of too much trouble. I'm just finishing dinner when I feel a light tug on my sleeve.

"Hey pops? Can Molly stay for dinner?"

I blink, casting a questioning glance at my daughter. "Who?" I ask, a bit perplexed. I was so sure it was Nancy she'd brought home. I turn the oven off so I can give the girls my full attention, just in time to see Trish gesture toward a short, blonde girl. She had piercing icy blue eyes, her bangs were choppy like she cut them herself and her hair just barely went past her shoulders, curling inward at the tips. The girl called Molly also had two small bows pinning the sides of her hair back behind her ears and knee high boots. She wasn't very fashionable, it seemed, wearing a plaid skirt that met up with the endings of her boots and a gray button down. It feels like I've seen her somewhere before. I can immediately tell I'm making her nervous, when she runs a hand over the front of her shirt, and nod affirmation to Trish.

It'd be an understatement to say I was simply surprised when a broad, genuine grin broke out on Trish's face as she grabbed Molly's arm excitedly. Molly beamed back at her, letting herself be dragged out of the room. She laughs, obviously amused by Trish's eagerness, and her nose scrunches up when she does.

It reminds me of someone else.

...

Jenny must be feeling especially gracious this week because she eats dinner with us for the second time in a row.

The dinner table feels different today.

Todd wasn't here with us- Conner practically begged him to join his family instead. I wouldn't see him until later on tonight.

In his place is Trish's new friend Molly, who wrings her hands nervously every now and again and glance toward the door as if waiting for someone to burst in at any moment. Whatever anxieties running through her head seem to vanish whenever Trish speaks up, and she listens to her words intently, running her fingers through her hair as she occasionally nods and lets out little hums of agreement.

Molly's a polite girl, answering all of Jenny's questions with grace and confidence, unlike other kids who may have been annoyed or anxious by the heavy interrogation. I learn a lot of things about her, specifically about her and my daughter's blooming friendship.

Their teacher assigned Trish the seat next to Molly in class and Molly had noticed Trish doodling on her notebooks. They got in trouble for passing notes and in even more trouble when they wouldn't read the notes the class, which was unfair, Molly said, because there wasn't anything to read really. They'd just been drawing little cartoons back and forth.

Molly normally sat alone at lunch so Trish joined her and then they stuck together all through recess. She tells us they both like Spy Sisters and being alone.

That makes sense, I think. Trish would want to be friends with the kid that stayed away from everybody else. I feel the corners of my mouth rising as I think about it more. They can hate people together now, how cute.

When Jenny asks about her parents, that's when Molly goes silent. She stares down at her plate, running her hands over the front of her shirt again. Trish shoots Jenny a hard glare, reaching out to rub Molly's back. This seemingly makes her feel better because Molly grants Trish a shy little smile, before changing the subject and asking Jenny what she does for a living.

"I'm a pediatrician, I work down at Hell's Pass."

"Oh, that's really cool! Do you work with babies?"

I zone out, not really interested in hearing about things I already know. The rest of dinner goes by smoothly, and as we're washing the dishes together, Jenny gives my forearm a squeeze, cheesing at me hard. "I think Trish really likes this one. Maybe she's starting to come out of her shell."

The way Jenny says it makes it feel like she's trying to imply that Trish is shy, which makes me scoff. "Maybe Trish likes that Molly keeps to herself," I suggest, though I can tell that's only part of it. I could tell they hit it off right from the starting gate and that they had a lot in common, but it felt like there was even more to it than that. More than I'd probably ever know.

"I wonder why she didn't want to talk about her parents. Do you think they're dead?" Jenny whispers, trying not to attract the attention of the two girls watching television in the living room.

"That'd be sad," I state bluntly, not wanting to expand any more on the topic. As interesting as Molly was, I didn't feel the need to know more about her beyond her friendship with my daughter. Need to know basis only.

"Well," Jenny sighs, putting the last dish away, "I'd better get to bed so I can get up early tomorrow. Make sure Todd doesn't stay out past curfew." She leans over, politely pecking me on the cheek and then she's gone.

That's okay.

I end up sitting on the couch with the girls, watching a rerun of Spy Sisters with them and actually kind of getting into it when I hear a knock on the door. Both girls stiffen. I quirk an eyebrow, but say nothing else as I go to answer the door. Behind me, I hear them whispering quietly to each other but can't make out the words. I'm thinking about how maybe Molly is actually the one I should have been concerned about rather than Stan and Kyle Jr. as I pull the door open to reveal the last person I'd been wanting to see- Yet also the person I'd wanted to see the most.

Tweek's left eye is twitching just like it used to when we were kids and he's tugging on his hair. I can see the small cuts left on his face from shaving and his buttons are buttoned incorrectly. He reeks of coffee and there's nasty bags under his eyes, his chattering teeth are slightly yellowed and just as slightly crooked as I remember them being. Multicolored band aids decorate his hands and only one thought is running through my mind as I take him in.

He's just as beautiful as the last time I saw him.

His forehead creases and it feels like his eyes are burning holes into my face with how intense his gaze is when he finally speaks up, "Um, I came to uh…." We make eye contact for a split second and he breaks away from it to stare down at his shoes. "I came to get Molly."

"Right!" I blurt out, a little too loudly because it makes him jump in alarm. "Molly! Your daughter! That's why you're here!" Not to see me. Why would he be here to see me? I feel sort of dumb for not realizing Molly was his child before because even as she hesitantly makes her way over to the door, Trish following closely behind, it's obvious in just the way she walks that she's his. He lets out a big sigh of relief when he sees her, reaching out for her, but she backs up, instead throwing her arms around Trish.

His daughter's hugging my daughter.

This is so weird.

I frown as his face falls, and he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, finally looking back up at me. And I mean, he really looks at me this time. His eyes study my face and he bites down on his lower lip, chewing on it worriedly. "It's nice to see you again, Craig…." The way he says it doesn't sound like he's pleased to see me again, which is a major stab to my heart even though I hadn't really wanted to see him either. His eyes flicker over to our daughters, who are hugging like it's the last time they'll ever see each other. Maybe he's thinking that should have been our hug, that I should have said goodbye before I left thirteen years ago. Probably not though. "I uh. Take it you found someone?"

What he told me at the wedding suddenly pops back up in my mind. I give him the biggest smile I can get myself to make, trying to look like a man that loved his wife more than anything. "Yeah. She makes me feel like I'm walking on air." It's far from the truth, but I figure that maybe it'll make a him a little happy to think that his hopes for me came true. I want to make him happy.

Tweek flinches, pressing his lips into a hard line. "Molly, we have to go," He declared, his eyes now fixed on her. Trish squeezes Molly one last time before releasing her, and Tweek wraps an arm around her protectively as soon as she's within his arm's reach. He addresses me one last time before they leave, head lowered so I can't see his eyes. "Nice to have you back, Craig." It sounds like he's choking the words out, not at all sounding like Clyde did when he'd said the very same thing to me earlier that day. If I hadn't known any better, I'd think I'd broken his heart or something. Trish and I watch them walk down the sidewalk for a while. I close the door just as Molly reaches up to wipe something off of her father's cheek.

"So," I fold my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at my own daughter, "Judging by the whispering, I'm guessing Molly wasn't expecting her father to show up. What did you two have planned?"

Trish crosses her own arms back at me, her mouth forming into a scowl. "He didn't even know where she was. Her little brother must have told him- Molly didn't wanna go home because she says her parents fight a lot."

My face changes expressions at top speed at this, trading in pissed off for concerned father. "Really?"

She nods her head. "Yeah. And her dad's weird. All of the other kids make fun of her because of it. He's always freaking out over stuff that's not real." And the pissed off expression is back. Kenny's words from earlier come back to me.

" _He's actually gotten way worse over the years."_

"And what does she do when they make fun of her? Does she stick up for him?"

"No," a cute little smirk forms on her face, "She does this."

And Trish flips me off.

 **By the way, I'm only still calling Tricia 'Ruby' because we didn't know Craig's sisters name when I first wrote this. Every story after this will have the correct name.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Have I always been taller than you guys?"

I was a twelve year old, brace-faced kid roaming the streets of South Park with my friends when I suddenly noticed I had to look down to make eye contact with them. We'd normally be indoors playing video games right now (This was in our Call of Duty phase, where we wouldn't leave Clyde's basement for shit and hissed whenever faced with direct sunlight), but since it was a nice day out, our parents practically forced us to spend it outside. Everyone stops walking when I pose my question and they all crane their necks to look up at me.

"You have not," Token declares, rubbing his chin slowly in thought as he stares at me. "I didn't even notice before, but your hairs getting longer too, isn't it?"

I give him a confused look, wondering how he could tell when I've got my hat on all the time, but when I look behind him at my reflection in the clothing store's window, I see that my hair has gotten long enough to peek out from under my hat, my bangs now mostly covering my eyebrows. I hadn't noticed either. Now that I'm looking at Token, I see that he's started to change too. "Your face isn't so chubby anymore."

"Yeah," Clyde chimes in, squinting his eyes as if it'll help him find other little changes in Token's appearance, "And your shoulders are broader too."

"They are?"

"See for yourself," I say, gesturing toward the window. He does just that, letting out a small 'huh' as he checks himself out. Clyde and Jimmy walk up on either side of him, inspecting themselves too.

"Wow, I'm turning into quite the puh-peh-pizza face."

"What the hell, why didn't you guys tell me I was growing facial hair?!"

They're patting their faces self consciously, twisting their bodies around to get a better view of what they look like. The only one not interested in this activity is Tweek. His elbow brushes against mine and I look down at him to see him wringing his hands and shuffling his feet anxiously. Yeah, he definitely isn't interested in this.

Out of all of us, Tweek's probably changed the least. His hair is still messy, sticking out at every direction known to man, his teeth are still kind of crooked, the two front ones overlapping each other (Which I, for the record, had always thought was super cute). His fashion sense has changed a bit, he'll wear a t-shirt every now and again but he always has a long sleeve shirt on underneath it. I don't think I've ever seen his arms before. The shirt he's wearing right now is an official Tweak Bros shirt his father had given him, probably for free advertising. After what Richard Tweak did with that whole Harbucks fiasco, I wouldn't put it past him to turn his son into a walking billboard. It's white with a brown collar and sleeves, the words 'Tweak Bro's' plastered across the front of it next to a cartoon coffee mug. He's wearing a black long sleeve underneath today- actually he's done that most days now. If we were cartoon characters, this very outfit Tweek was wearing right now would be his every day one.

He begins to fidget even more as our friends start to get really deep into the self evaluation and I decide it's time to shut it down. "Hey guys, I got a new scooter last week. Wanna go mess around with it?"

This gets their attention.

No questions are asked until we're already in my garage.

"What are we going to do with a scooter?" Token asks as I wheel it towards them. Upon seeing it, Tweek slaps his hand over his mouth to hold back his laughter and Token chortles. Clyde, always the dramatic one, throws himself on the ground, howling with laughter.

"Craig, what the hell?!" Jimmy snickers.

The scooter was covered in little Minions. I know, I know. They're little yellow spawns of Satan, I am aware. But in my defense, I didn't _ask_ for this, okay? You see, what had happened was _Ruby_ being the sarcastic little shit she is, jokingly asked our mother for it. Mother dearest, thinking she was serious, actually fucking got it. She wrapped a little bow around one of the handles and looked so damned excited for Ruby when she presented it to her that Ruby couldn't just tell her the truth. She didn't want to break mom's heart after all. So instead, she "confessed" that she only wanted it so she could give it me, because she'd seen me eye balling it whenever we passed the toy store on our way home from school. Which was an obvious lie because the scooter wasn't even in the display window, but mom believed her anyway and so that is how I obtained this abomination on wheels.

"Gee Craig," Token chuckles, "I never would have guessed you for a Minion lover. And I've eaten so many bananas in front of you."

"I don't find it surprising at all, I mean, he kind of looks like a young Gru," Clyde's propped himself up into a sitting position using his elbows and is staring up at me with the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen. I roll my eyes and stick my middle finger up at him, but it does nothing. My finger is powerless against someone who's been subjected to it so many times, by now Clyde has built up an immunity toward it. Damn him for making me use it on him so much. "All you need is some goth clothes and a bald head and you're him!"

"Ugh," I huff, trying to sound like one of the Goth kids that always hung around behind the school, "Whatever you stupid conformist."

"Is that why you like minions, Craig? Is it the new goth thing?"

"Oh yeah, totally, like, wait until school starts, I'm totally gonna show up dressed like a minion," I flip my hair dramatically, lifting my fingers to my lips as if to take a drag from a cigarette.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tweek cringe, whispering, "Oh god, please don't."

This time it's me laughing, my shoulders shaking a bit from the action. "Don't worry Tweek, I wouldn't do that." He gives me a small smile in relief. "….For free," I quickly add, making his smile go upside down as he slaps my shoulder.

"So, we guh-gonna ride this baby or wah-wuh-what?" Jimmy nods his head towards the monstrosity, reminding me of why we were back in my garage in the first place. We head out to the driveway with it, me looking around first to make sure no one else we knew was nearby. I was pretty sure Stan's gang was at the water park today or something, so they wouldn't be around to drag me for my scooter but I still had to make sure. I set it up in the opening of my driveway, placing one of my feet on it before getting an idea.

Tweek lets out a squeak of surprise when I suddenly reach out and pull him toward me. We lock eyes for a minute and he swallows as he realizes what I'm asking. "If you think I'm riding around town on a Minion's scooter, you've got another thing coming."

"It's just to the corner and back, not around town. C'mon."

"No way, dude! What if Cartman or someone else sees us?! We'd never live it down!"

"Tweeeeek," I drag his name out in a whine, wrapping my hands around his wrists and tugging him closer so our chests bump into each other. It's not that weird anymore for us to be this close. I'd discovered long ago that Tweek was actually calmer the less space there was between us and over time, I'd grown pretty damn comfortable with it too. Maybe I'd even go as far as saying that I sort of….liked it. A chorus of no homo's echoed through my head immediately and I bit my lip, banishing those kinds of thoughts to the desert wastelands of my brains. I was a twelve year old, brace-faced kid that wasn't any more ready than my pimply fourteen year old self to admit I had a thing for Tweek. "Those guys are all out swimming or something, we'll be totally fine."

"Arghhh, I don't know, Craig!"

I stick my lower lip out, furrowing my eyebrows at him. Every trace of worry vanishes from his face as he relaxes, letting out a deep sigh. "Okay..." he says softly, gazing at me with wide eyes, "You win, Craig." I grin from ear to ear at this, feeling bubbly inside when Tweek gets on the scooter and wraps his arms around my waist, leaning against my back. I push off with my foot, sending us down the sidewalk. My street's pretty straight, so I have to keep repeating this action in order to keep us moving, but that's fine. Tweek would probably flip if we went too fast for his liking and this way I can control the speed so it's just the way he likes it.

"You guys look like Jack and Rose from Titanic!" Clyde calls after us.

Tweek giggles, burying his face in my shoulder as I begin belting out the lyrics to My Heart Will Go On in a scratchy, monotone voice. I don't know it yet, but this is going to be one of my favorite memories of us. It really is a nice day. The gentle breeze feels good against my face and the sounds of the wheels rolling against the asphalt are strangely soothing to me. I drag my feet along the ground, slowing us to a stop as we reach the corner when I see the sun beginning to set. The sky is turning into a warm blend of yellow and orange when Tweek speaks the words that are on my mind.

"I don't want today to end."

I stay silent and unmoving as I feel him give me a squeeze, resting his head against the back of my shoulder and letting out a content sigh. I take one of my hands off of the handles of my scooter and set it gently over his entangled ones, my heart thumping with an irregular rhythm. "I don't want to grow up," he adds on, his voice sounding smaller than I'd ever heard it before. I twist my head around to look at him questioningly, and he continues, "My dad says that friends always end up growing out of each other…. I don't want to grow out of you guys." Tweek buries his face into my back again, and his next words come out muffled but I hear them anyway, "I don't want to grow out of you."

His earlier discomfort at everyone pointing out their physical changes makes sense now. It was just further proof of us growing up. And this was just the start. Someday, I wouldn't have braces and Clyde's wispy little facials hairs would probably grow into a full out beard. And maybe, someday, we'd all be too invested in our own individual lives to be with each other like we are now. But maybe not. I can't give any comforting words to Tweek because I can't make any promises I might not be able to keep. I couldn't keep him from growing out of me. I probably couldn't even keep myself from growing out of him. My chest hurts when it dawns on me that there might be a day where Tweek and I pass each other on the street without sparing the other a second glance. It could happen, but I hope not.

I really hope not.

...

"Draw four."

I hiss, picking out four cards from the stack we've got sitting in the middle of the counter as Ruby hums in contemplation of what color she'll choose. "I think I'll go wiiiiiiiith…." she bites her lip thoughtfully, as if she's making the decision of a lifetime, "Green."

"Oh, perfect," I perk up, waiting for her to set a card down before slapping mine over hers, "Skip you." She glares at me, and I can't help but grin in triumph as I prepare to hit her with a green draw two card. It's amusing for me to think that she played herself without knowing it and suddenly having the advantage over her makes me forgive her crime of using her draw four.

Business is slow today and the only appointment we have set up is about two hours away, so Ruby ransacked her drawers for Uno and here we are. It's not a half bad way to pass the time.

If there's one thing that's remained untouched over the years, it's the relationship between me and my sister. We're still just as competitive as we were when we were kids and our banters only gotten better over the years. It's nice to have someone else around who's fluent in the language of sarcasm.

When we were younger, my parents friends- and even some of my own traitorous pals- were always quick to point out how similar Ruby and I were. As a kid, I hated the comparison. As an adult, though, I guess I can sort of see it too. We share the same interests for the most part, in example, both of us wanted to become mechanics and when we were kids, it was Ruby who stayed up late watching Red Racer with me- not for my benefit, but because she loved it just as much as I did. That was bonding time, those half hours where we'd sit as close to the television as mom would let us and gorge ourselves on junk food. There was also the shared loathing of mom dressing us up in matching outfits. You'd think she wouldn't be able to pull that off with a son and a daughter that were four years apart, but to our dismay, she did it. Matching sweaters, matching Halloween costumes, it only ended when my dad finally stepped in and pointed out that I was old enough to pick out my own damn clothes. It's funny to think that Ruby and I are matching again right now, both of us wearing collared shirts with the shop's name 'Tucker's Automotive' on the back.

I think the main difference between us is that Ruby has more balls in the love department.

Ruby had no hesitation in making a move on Karen McCormick. There was no fear on her face whatsoever when she came out to our parents, hand tightly wrapped around her girlfriend's. Only determination. Mom and Dad had been a little weirded out at first but once they caught on that Karen wasn't going anywhere, they decided it'd be better to just be there for Ruby rather than turn their backs on her. She was still their daughter after all.

If I'd known my parents would be so cool about that sort of thing, I probably would have beat Red to the punch by at least two years.

Agh, wait, no. I'm over Tweek. I can't think of him like that anymore.

Anyway, Ruby is definitely braver than I am by far and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little envious.

"So Jen told me you're havin' a sleepover for Trish tonight?"

Oh right, I'd forgotten all about that. I don't know who was dreading this night more, me or my daughter. Trish had been silent on the subject every time Jenny brought it up, her eyes always narrowed in annoyance so it was safe to say that she wasn't looking forward to it. I definitely wasn't looking forward to seeing any more former classmates that came to drop off their wee ones. Knowing my luck, some of them would want to 'catch up' and honestly, after the experience I had with Kenny at the supermarket, I'm not really up for anymore recaps. Some people might not think it had been a bad thing for Kenny to give me the scoop on Tweek, and in his defense, I had sort of asked but I really didn't want any more stories about how bad one of my former best friends had gotten over the years. I could barely handle a simple sentence on the subject, God forbid someone give me all the gory details.

I nod, "Yup, six o'clock sharp."

"Think Trish'll mind if I drop off Lucy? She's been dying to spend some time with her big cousin, but if it's gonna cramp her style or somethin'-"

"I'm sure Trish won't mind. Hell, she'll probably be happier to see her than anyone else."

"Not a people person, eh?"

"Not really."

"Heh, that's okay, I wasn't either," Ruby chuckles, placing another card down, "Uno."

"Shit," I groan, looking through my cards to see if I've got any that can save me. I've got the opportunity to change the color to blue and I take it. Big mistake. Ruby pretends to look upset for a moment before laying down her blue card and pumping her fist in victory. I slam my fist down on the counter so loudly I don't hear the bell chime when someone opens the door to the shop. Ruby's cackling at my defeated, slumped over form when I feel a finger poke me in my side. I blink and look over to see Trish and Todd standing shoulder to shoulder, still wearing their backpacks. "Fancy meeting you two here."

Todd smiles and Trish rolls her eyes good-naturedly, both of them setting their backpacks on the ground so they can settle into two of the chairs we have lined up against the wall for waiting customers. "What are you guys doing?" Todd asks with a tilt of his head, swinging his legs back and forth.

"Some very important work, obviously," Ruby says, gesturing toward the Uno cards.

"Wow, you guys get paid for playing Uno? Can I work here?" Todd's eyes are wide with wonder and the sincerity in his voice makes me smile like an idiot. He was the only Tucker that didn't possess the sarcasm gene, he couldn't even detect it most times. Jenny worried that this meant Todd was gullible, but that wasn't the case. He was a lot smarter than most of us gave him credit for, it was just that he wanted to believe that everyone was as genuine as he is. It's not a bad trait to have, but sometimes I worry about it setting him up for disappointment.

"Ask me again when you're eighteen, kiddo," Ruby snickers, resting her chin in her hand and leaning on the counter. "So how you guys likin' your new school? Make any new friends?"

Todd nods his head hard, giving her a toothy grin. "Uh huh! Billy, Wyatt and Conner are the bestest friends ever! We're gonna go shopping cart racing later at the store!"

I whip my head around to stare at my son when he says this, eyes wide with alarm. "Come again, now?"

"You know, we're gonna get shopping carts and race'em! It's gonna be me and Billy versus Wyatt and Conner and it's gonna be _awesome_!"

I open my mouth to say something along the lines of "You're not doing that!", the memory of Billy McCormick slamming his shopping cart into mine still fresh in my mind when Ruby practically jumps over the counter to slap a hand over my mouth, turning to smile innocently at my child as I glare at her in annoyance. "Sounds like a good time, little racer! You better make sure you win, you're representing the Tucker's."

"Oh, I will!" Todd's got a fierce look of determination in his face now, his fists raised up in a fighting pose, "They're totally gonna eat me and Billy's dust!"

"That's the spirit!" Ruby cheers, egging him on. Great, now I couldn't stop him without looking like an asshole. I love Ruby as much as any brother loves his sister, but fuck, why does she have to be the cool aunt? "How about you Trish? You make any friends yet?" My sister asks, tugging on a stray strand of hair that had escaped her loose bun.

To my surprise, Trish's eyes light up and a little smile forms on her normally bored looking face. "I'm best friends with Molly Tweak."

"Oh that's cool! Your dad was best friends with her when we were little, you know."

Trish immediately turns to stare at me, her face painted with curiosity. I open my mouth to explain, but Ruby's hand is still on me and so I do what any adult would do.

I licked her hand, ignoring the way she yanked her hand back and made sounds of disgust, more interested in talking to my daughter. "Yeah, me and Molly's dad were friends."

"Oh," Trish says, looking a bit stunned with the way her eyebrows are raised, "That's cool."

"Why do you look so surprised?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.

She shrugs. "You two just don't seem like you'd be friends, I guess."

I almost ask her what that's supposed to mean but then I remember that this is my daughter and she's the last person I should be getting defensive against, especially over someone I'm supposed to be over, so I drop it. I hear the bell chime again and when I turn to see if it's a customer, I'm met with the little rascal that's trying to turn my son into a juvenile delinquent.

Billy McCormick wears a dirty gray t-shirt, his father's old parka tied around his waist. His jeans are rolled up at the ends, as if they'd been too long for him and his tennis red tennis shoes have multiple dirt smudges littering the white part at the front. His eyes are a hazelnut brown and sitting on top of his head is the same hat I'd seen Kenny's own father wear almost religiously. Todd turns to look at him too, his whole face lighting up as he springs out of his seat eagerly and picks up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Billy's beaming too, his open mouthed grin revealing that he's missing one of his teeth at the front. I watch him interact with my son, eying the backpack Todd's carrying before speaking in a shy little voice, "I can carry that for ya."

Todd shakes his head bashfully, "No, it's okay, I got it. You don't have to."

"But I want to."

I watch in confusion as they go back and forth on this for a while before Todd finally relents, handing Billy his backpack. I cast a quick glance at Trish to see what she thinks of all of this and I feel even more confused than before when I see the tiniest mischievous smirk on her face. The bell chimes again as Billy uses one of his hands to hold the door open for my son, the other one clasped around Todd's. "Bye dad, I'll see you later!" Todd waves to me with his free hand before leaving with his friend, leaving me to sit and wonder what the hell just happened.

"I'd better get going too," Trish announces, getting up from her chair. "Mom wants me to help her set up for the sleepover."

"Oooo, are you excited?" Ruby asks even though I'd pretty much given her the answer to that earlier.

"Oh definitely," Trish stated in the most sarcastic voice I'd ever heard her use, "I've just been looking forward to this all week. Totally."

"I can tell," Ruby shoots back, unphased. Trish is speaking her language. "You're DEFINITELY going to be the life of the party."

Trish pushes the door open, shooting my sister finger guns and winking at her. "You know it."

Ruby laughs as Trish leaves, shaking her head in amusement. "I missed that kid," she sighs, smiling at me now.

"Yeah, she is pretty awesome," I agree, "Gets it from her father."

Ruby snorts, reaching across the counter to give me a playful shove. "In his dreams."

"Whatever, just don't push me again or I'll tell mom."

She rolls her eyes at this, gathering the forgotten Uno cards up and shuffling them. It's quiet for a while as she does this, her face looking a bit too focused to just be shuffling cards, but before I can ask her what's on her mind, she pretty much tells me. "So you met Red and Tweek's girl?" She asks the question carefully, using a gentle voice as if I'd break if she said it any louder. I nod, suddenly becoming very interested in some chipped paint on the side of the counter. I pick at it with my fingers, focused on my task of freeing the peeling paint from it's prison when she speaks up again, using that same stupid delicate voice from before. "How you feeling after that?"

It was times like these where I fiercely regretted confiding in Ruby about my hopeless crush on Tweek. This wasn't the first time she'd put me under interrogation. We'd had similar conversations countless times in the past, the very last one being right after Tweek's wedding and right before I disappeared from South Park for thirteen years. I know she means well, I know. She wants to be there for me, but it just don't help. It doesn't change anything and it doesn't make me feel better. I take my eyes off of the paint and look at her, frowning at the overly concerned look on her face. I merely shrug, going back to business with the dried paint. "Nothing," I mumble, "I feel nothing. I have kids too, you know. I've moved on, I'm over him."

"Are you gonna try and be his friend again then?"

I go quiet, keeping my eyes fixed on the chipped paint. It's an ugly shade of orange and we should paint over it. Maybe something neutral and professional, like a gray or black. It's definitely in need of a makeover, that's for sure. I can feel Ruby staring at me, waiting for my answer. I'm not sure what to say. Do I want to be Tweek's friend again? Did we ever really stop being friends? Wait, stupid question. Even if there was no dramatic showdown between us or even a simple goodbye, me taking off and not saying a word to him for over a decade made it pretty clear that things were over. I could try to explain myself to him, try to make it up. But what for? If we get close again, I'm bound to feel those unwelcome butterflies fluttering around in the pits of my stomach again. That's not something I want.

I'm sure of it.

Or rather, thirty four year old Craig is sure of it.

Deep inside, there's still a brace-faced twelve year old Craig, who replays a simple sentence over and over again. It bounces around the walls of my skull, taunting me. " _I don't want to grow out of you."_ He didn't want to lose me. I didn't want to lose him either. Things had been so black and white then. He was just Tweek and I was just Craig and we were best friends. Twelve year old Craig wanted that back more than anything. I try to push that to the back of my mind- I'm older, more reasonable now. Twelve year old Craig is powerless to me.

But he has an army.

Because it's not just twelve year old Craig that misses Tweek. It's every Craig ages ten to twenty two that want him back, that want nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were.

I look back up at Ruby.

"I don't know."

...

"Jesus fucking Christ, how many people did you invite Jenny?!"

Trish and I are both peeking through the blinds, observing the numerous parked cars outside. No one's really stepped out yet and I'm willing to bet pretty much every parent is giving their daughter the speech on sleepover etiquette. I've had to give the same one to Todd a couple hundred times, and now I'm starting to wonder if any of his friends dad's had been looking out the window like this. I feel somebody slap my ass and whip my head around to glare at my wife, gesturing toward Trish as if to say 'Yeah hey, maybe don't do that when our kid's RIGHT THERE?'

Jenny waves her hand dismissively, obviously not caring whether or not Trish noticed the action- which luckily she didn't- and squeezes in between us in order to look out the window herself. "Oh good, looks like everyone came after all!" She squeals, suddenly throwing an arm around our daughter's shoulders and giving her a tight squeeze. Jenny sure is acting affectionate today. I don't have much time to think about how weird it is though, because out of nowhere, the doorbell rings. Which is actually pretty fucking strange considering I hadn't seen anyone get out of their car. Jenny reaches out, grabbing my hand and interlocking our fingers together as she drags me to the door, pulling it open to greet our first guests.

Marjorine and Charlotte Stotch barely look a day over twenty. They stand closely together, content little smiles on their faces and they both have one hand rested on their daughter's shoulders. They're obviously a happy family, I can feel it just by being around them and to be honest, I'm a little jealous. I could easily see these two wearing matching jerseys with their daughters number on it, showing up to each and every baseball game just to cheer her on. They probably went all out, making signs, painting their faces the team colors, all of it. But then again, I might be projecting my own hidden desires onto them. For all I knew, they could be the kind of parents that skipped out on all of the family events and barely knew their child existed. Looks could be deceiving, after all.

"Hiya Jenny!" Marjorine chirps, raising one of her hands up in a 'hello' motion, "It sure has been a while, hasn't it?"

"It has!" Jenny exclaims, extending her hand out to shake Marjorine's, who takes it eagerly. If Marjorine was a puppy, her tail would probably be wagging. "You and Charlotte look great!" Jenny compliments, looking them both up and down.

"Thank you!" both women sing out in perfect harmony. God, it should be illegal for two people to look so perfect together. Charlotte sets a hand on her daughter's head, running her fingers through it gently. Seeing the loving look in her eyes as she looked down at her child, I immediately knew that my earlier assumptions about Charlotte and Marjorine were more than likely spot on. They were definitely invested in their little one's life. "And thank you so much for inviting Ruth! She's really excited, aren't you sweetie?"

The little brunette nods enthusiastically, pigtails swaying slightly as she did. Ruth doesn't seem to have inherited Charlotte's height and looks like she could easily be one of the shortest girls in sixth grade. At a glance, it might look like Ruth takes more after Charlotte, but when I look into her baby blue eyes, all I can see is Marjorine. I hope Ruth's classmates are easier on her than we were on Marjorine.

"You guys wanna come in and catch up?" Jenny opens the door up wider, waving them inside before they can say yes or no. They both utter out their thanks, accepting Jenny's invitation when another couple takes their place on our doorstep. Jenny gets straight to the point this time, pointing right at her old friend Millie, a mischevious glint in her eye. Millie points back at her, a wicked grin on her face. "Millie, you sleazeball, you'd better get in this house right now if you know what's good for you."

The strawberry blonde throws her head back with a laugh before flexing her bicep and winking. "I think I could take you," She teases with a smirk before stepping inside anyway, her freckled daughter in tow.

At this rate, my house was going to be chock full of people I used to know. Leave it to Jenny to end up hosting our makeshift high school reunion (South Park never had one- No need considering most of us never left anyway.). "Hey Craig, long time no see."

Great, even better. Please, please let this be someone that can mind their own business. I suck in a deep breath, nodding in acknowledgment to the man in front of me. "Hey Scott, what's up?"

"Oh, you know. The usual," Scott shrugs. I sigh in relief at his vague answer, the way he'd acted like I would know without a doubt what the usual was. It was all so casual it made it feel like I'd never left South Park in the first place.

In my gratitude, I decide to keep the conversation going, thinking it a reasonable way to repay him for not bombarding me with five thousand facts about his life and ten thousand questions about what I'd been up to. "You and Millie?"

"Yeah, I know, how'd I manage that?" He titters, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "It's cool to see you and Jenny ended up together after all. You glad to be back in town?"

"Oh yeah," I reply, sounding just as monotone as I had in our youth, "Who wouldn't want to come back to the town they'd been dreaming of getting out of since they were nine? Totally loving it here, man."

The corners of Scott's mouth curve up into an amused grin, "I hear ya, Tucker. If Millie and Donna didn't love it here so much, I'd been out years ago."

"SCOTT! Come in here!" Millie's voice booms from the other room, where she's probably seated with the other women. It's Scott's turn to sigh now and he pats my arm, muttering about how it was good to see me again and then he's gone.

That interaction wasn't as awful as I thought it'd be.

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe my old classmates aren't so bad after. Maybe I should stop avoiding them.

The doorbell rings again and since I'm closest, I pull it open to reveal Eric and Heidi Cartman. "Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged back to South Park?" He sneers, squinting up at me.

Okay, maybe not.

Heidi elbows him hard, shooting him a dirty look. He rubs the place she'd hit, looking like a dog that'd just gotten swatted on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. "Sorry, baby, I couldn't hold that one back."

"It's okay baby."

Give me a break, how was Heidi still with this guy? Jenny suddenly appears at my side, chatting it up with Heidi and that's when another realization hits me. Eric Cartman has a daughter and she's standing in front of me. He's a father. This hits me about a million times harder than it did when I'd realized the same thing with Clyde but maybe because, I don't know, Clyde didn't have the same fucked up track record Cartman did? And, I may not be attracted to Clyde myself, but he was a good looking dude. It wasn't that hard to think that he had reproduced but _Cartman_?

I finally look at the evidence of Eric Cartman having done the do standing in front of me, and I'm ashamed to say I was expected some sort of demonic spawn from hell because from the looks of it, his daughter was the sweeter thing ever. She was overweight like he was and she had Heidi's face, neat little bangs threatening to take over her eyes and heart shaped hair clips pinning back the sides of her hair. Definitely takes after Heidi.

As cute as the kid was, this was still fucking weird. Clyde Donovan had kids. Kenny McCormick had kids. Stan Marsh. Kyle Broflovski. Marjorine Stotch. Scott Malkinson. I know, I know. I have kids too, but that's weird enough in itself. Or it was at first. Because let's face it, you spend your whole life being somebody else's kid- Twenty one years of my life being known as "Laura's boy" or "the Tucker kid"- and suddenly, somebody's _your_ kid. It had felt surreal when I held Trish in my arms for the first time, even more bizarre when she start babbling and calling me "dada". It had thrown me off really bad the first time I'd heard someone in Minnesota say something about the "Tucker kid". It took me a whole half hour to figure out they were talking about Todd and not me.

The difference was that I'd had plenty of time to adjust to the reality of myself being a parent.

I'd had no time to prepare myself to see these guys as parents. I'd tried so hard not to think about South Park and those who inhabited it for so long, I'd never even bothered to think of the possibility that some of them had reproduced. It's overwhelming to see it all with my own eyes, and I'm getting bombarded left and right with it.

I need to chill out.

"I'm gonna head out for a bit," I mumble to Jenny and she nods in understanding, standing on her tiptoes so she can peck my cheek in farewell. Even though I'm not madly in love with her or anything like that, I feel extremely appreciative of her being so mellow compared to some other women. I'd seen my own mom nag my dad about leaving when we'd had guests over and I'd fully expected to face the same issue with Jenny, but she's always been really cool about it. I might as well pay her back by helping her make it seem like we're a lovey-dovey couple, so I lean down a bit to give her a sweet kiss on the lips. I feel her smile against my mouth as she returns it gently, placing one of her hands on my cheek.

I pull away quickly after that, brushing a strand of stray hair out of her face when I turn around and see _him_. He's staring at me with wide eyes, trembling slightly and biting down harshly on his lower lip. I stare back at him, stepping out of the house and down the porch steps to approach him when Trish suddenly zooms past me, launching herself at the small figure he's attached to.

I hadn't noticed Molly before.

She wrenches her hand free from her father's grip, wrapping herself around Trish with glee. They spin around while holding on to each other for a bit before releasing each other and chattering on animatedly, waving their hands around as they talk.

They act like they didn't just see each other at school three hours ago.

I wonder how they'd act after thirteen years.

"Dad," Molly finally addresses Tweek, now holding her hand out, "I'll take my bag now. Thanks for letting me come."

Tweek nods shakily, tearing his eyes away from me to give her a wary smile. "Of course… Please be careful and call me if anything goes wrong," he gabbed, holding a brown book bag out to her, "I'll pick you up as early as possible."

Molly scowls at this, taking the bag from him and slinging it over her shoulder. "Please don't," is all she says before she allows Trish to lead her away. Tweek watches her go with sad eyes, his eyebrows knitting together. He's biting down on his lip again, harder than before, and then it's bleeding.

On reflex, I reach out, wiping the blood away with my thumb. He jerks away in surprise, a startled look in his emerald eyes as he gazes at me intently. I clear my throat, showing him the blood I'd collected on my thumb. "You were hurting yourself, again," I explain lamely.

"Oh…." He sounds disappointed, averting his eyes so he isn't looking at me anymore.

"You having problems with your daughter…?" I ask him softly, shoving my hands into my coat pockets. It's usually not like me to ask about things that don't concern me, but it's Tweek and I want to know. Not just to be nosy either, but because I still care. If I know what's going on, maybe I could help in someway. My earlier resolve of moving past him is thrown out the window and I can just picture twelve year old me grinning at me in triumph, saying ' _I win'_.

I expect Tweek to brush me off or maybe tell me to mind my own business, what right do I have to be asking him such a deeply personal question when I hadn't bothered to call him in thirteen years? I'd fully understand that. But instead he looks at me again, guilt written all over his face. "I don't think she likes me much."

His honesty catches me off guard, it being unfathomable to me that he's so willing to share such information with me after what I'd done. I may have had my reasons for leaving the way I did, but that didn't excuse it. Tweek had thought I was dead, I'd probably caused him way too many panic attacks. Once he'd learned I was alive, he must have been even more anxious, wondering what he did to make me cut him off so suddenly. I'd probably caused a lot of damage to the guy I claimed to love.

Loved. I'm over it.

I'm over it.

I open my mouth to say something, anything to keep this conversation going when I feel a strong arm wrap around my shoulders and pull me in for a half hug. "Hell yes, look at us! We're all together right now!" Clyde cries out, tightening his hold on me. I quickly glance around to see who he means by 'we' and my jaw drops when I see Token and Jimmy.

Token's grown a full out beard, wearing the nicest suit I'd ever seen in person. He looks almost unrecognizable, except for the way his eyes crinkle when he grins. That's something that hasn't changed since we first met. Jimmy's beard isn't as majestic as Token's, it being a bit shaggy and wispy, and he wears graphic t-shirt with the name of some gaming company I've never heard of before on it. "Our little Craig is all grown up," Token coos, reaching out to ruffle my hair. He was only a few inches taller than me, but it looked like after all these years he wouldn't stop rubbing it in. I smirk, swatting his hand away, but I can't even spit out a snarky comeback because Jimmy's suddenly talking.

"It fuh-feels like it's been f-forever. When was the lah-last time we were all together luh-like this, huh fellas?"

"Not since Tweek's wedding!" Clyde yells, sounding like he's been horribly disrespected. I lean my head away from him as far as possible, never having been a fan of him screaming in my ear. "Which, Craig fucking left early like a total _loser_!"

" _I'm_ the loser?" I cry out, setting a hand over my chest in mock offense, "I'm not the one that was crying my eyes out like a little baby!" That was a total lie. I had, in fact, cried. Maybe not in the middle of the wedding where everyone could see like Clyde had, but I _had_ sat in my car and blubbered pathetically while listening to a Justin Timberlake song.

"It was an emotional moment for me, Craig, okay? God."

"Anyway," Token intervened, quickly changing the subject, "It's been way too long since we've all hung out. I haven't even seen Craig in like, what, ten years?"

"Thirteen," I correct.

Clyde shoves me, a betrayed look on his face. "That's even worse, you rat bastard. You never even called me."

"He didn't call you either? I thought I was the only one. Craig, you asshole," Token tsked, shaking his finger disapprovingly at me.

Here it is, time to explain myself. "I didn't call anybody. I barely called my parents, I was really busy with the kids and the shop and-"

"It's okay man, we get it. We're just fucking with ya," Clyde cuts me off, jabbing a finger into my side. I flip him off, and he laughs. "You've got no idea how much I missed that."

"Me too," Tweek finally pipes up, tapping the tips of his index fingers together.

No, no, no, Tweek don't say that. You're married to Red and I'm married to Jenny, you can't make me feel that way anymore. As much as I try to fight it, thousands of butterflies are suddenly swarming around in the pits of my stomach and I'm grateful for the dark night that's concealing the blush forming on my cheeks.

"We all missed it," Token agrees.

"It's been too long," Jimmy points out once again, "We need to hang out. Like. Right now."

"Right now?" Clyde says incredulously.

"Yeah, all your kids are tuh-taken care of and the wuh-wives are busy so why not?"

"Oh, what the hell," Token decided, "I'm in, just let me go tell Nichole."

"Yeah, I'd better tell Bebe too," Clyde agrees, slapping my back as he leaves with Token.

It's just me, Jimmy and Tweek now, Jimmy waiting patiently for our answers. "I already told Jenny I was leaving," I explain to him, "We're good to go as soon as they get back."

"Alright, what about you Tweek?"

The tall, twitchy blonde looks a little surprised but nods anyway.

"Yessss," Jimmy rejoiced, "Reunion time!"

I give him a thumbs up and a genuine, subtle smile. This is one reunion I won't mind having.

...

Jimmy's shabby little fixer-upper house is actually pretty cozy once we're on the inside of it. He's got a leather sectional couch in the living room facing his television, a barrel coffee table sitting in front of it. Numerous framed video game posters are hung up on the walls and he tells me that he works for a gaming company. That explains the T-shirt and the multiple systems lined up against the wall. Jimmy's the only one of us that isn't married with children, though he is engaged to Tammy Nelson.

"So you and Jenny Simon tied the knot after all, huh?" Token takes a swig of his beer, eyeballing me curiously. The last he'd heard, I'd been planning to dump Jenny and just throw myself into my work.

"Yeah, Trish was on the way so we figured it'd be better," I explain, remembering very clearly the day Jenny had grimly shown me the positive pregnancy test and changed our lives forever. She was worried that having a baby would affect her schooling and she'd said that if I didn't plan on being part of the picture, she'd probably end up aborting or adopting out.

"This isn't blackmail," She'd hurriedly explained, seeing the freaked out look on my face, "But if I don't have your help, I won't be able to balance a baby and med school. I'm not saying you have to marry me or anything, just help out with the baby." That was my chance to back out. She was giving me a choice on whether or not I wanted to stick around. I could have said no, but something inside me told me that I shouldn't just ditch my kid like this. One thing led to another and now we're married with Todd and Trish.

"Shotgun wedding, nice," Clyde raises his hand up for a high five, "Me and Bebe with Nancy too, actually."

I smack my hand against his, nodding my head in respect.

"We should call your duh-daughters little cupids," Jimmy thought out loud, looking pretty proud of himself for coming up with the idea.

"They were already in love though," Token states in a matter-of-fact tone, sending us a teasing smirk. "Funny to think we all wound up with our high school sweethearts."

"I called it," Clyde raises his bottle of beer before chugging it down, unaware of the memories he's triggered in my brain. He did call it. He tried to warn me. I'm very much aware of the object of my affections sitting next to me, on of his legs just barely touching my own. If I'd just listened to Clyde, we could be sitting closer together and maybe we'd be married and- Stop.

Stop, we're over this.

I'm over this. I have to remind myself that Trish and Todd wouldn't exist if I'd done that, and it helps squash the feeling down. Good.

"Not I," Jimmy points out, "I've guh-gone out with muh-more than my fair share of women."

"You are an outlier and will not be counted."

"Seriously Clyde? We're in our thirties, knock it off with the memes."

A thick silence fills the air for a few moments. It probably just hit them like it did me earlier, the realization of us being married adults with kids. They must have dealt with this feeling numerous times, though, because they seem to know just how to deal with it.

Nostalgia.

"Remember that time we played ninja with Stan and those guys?"

"Which time?"

"You know, the time we bought those illegal weapons, without our parents permission."

"…..Which time?"

"We got in serious trouble?"

"…..Which ti-"

"The time those idiots almost killed Marjorine!"

"OH YEAH!"

Clyde and Token go back and forth like this for a while, Jimmy sometimes chiming in with his own dusty memory, like the time he'd fought Timmy in front of the supermarket or when he'd worked on the school news with Token.

"Remember Craig's minion scooter?"

I click my tongue in mock annoyance, eliciting laughs from Token and Jimmy as Clyde prattles on. "That was probably the most romantic thing I've ever seen you do, you and Tweek looked so cute riding off into the sunset like that! Didn't you serenade him too?"

Tweek stifles his own laugh as I start singing in a nasally tone, obviously not trying to sound good, "Every night in my dreams." The other guys start waving their hands around for mercy and I stop, flipping them all off. "Screw you guys, my voice is beautiful."

"Oh definitely," Token's leaning forward in his seat now, setting his bottle down on the table. "You should take Jenny out on the old scooter sometime, Craig. Really sweep her off her feet."

"Pft, who says I haven't?"

"DUDE," Clyde barks out, eyes wide in some sort of horrified amusement, "Did you actually?! Oh my God, why do you even still have that thing?!"

I feel Tweek start to get up and when I turn to shoot him a questioning glance, I see that the smile's been wiped off his face. "I'm gonna go for a quick walk," he mumbles, racing for the door and shutting it closed behind him before any of us can say anything.

"Ugh, he's probably walking home," Clyde complains, sinking into his seat with a huge pout on his face. "He's been such a hermit lately."

"Lately?" Token scoffs, crossing his arms. "He's been like this for years now. I'm surprised he came in the first place."

I instantly jump to my feet, "Don't worry guys, I'll make sure he comes back." And all I can hear is their chorus of good lucks and Clyde's little threat of physically harming me if I didn't come back and I'm out the door, jogging to catch up to Tweek. It looks like he's hugging himself, keeping his head ducked as he walks and it's only when I'm finally next to him that I realize he's crying. "Hey..." I start gently, setting a hand on his back in a bad attempt to comfort him, "What's wrong…?"

He shakes his head, lifting one of his arms to drag it across his face and wipe off the tears, the exact same thing I'd done all those years in the bathroom. "I'm just being a baby," He says in a wobbly voice, obviously trying to just brush it off.

"Come on, Tweek, don't hide stuff from me..." I coax, now rubbing small circles into his back as we come to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. He's biting down on his lip again, running a hand over the front of his shirt anxiously.

"I'm sorry, Craig, I really can't."

"Can't you at least try…?"

He shakes his head again, more fiercely this time as he squeezes his eyes shut, choking back another sob. "Even if I did try, I'd just sound stupid- because it is stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm so-" His hands fly to his hair with the intent to grab and I catch them just in time, holding them in place.

"You aren't stupid," I say sternly, and before I can think better of it or try to tell myself I'm over this, I pull him into a tight hug, crushing him against my chest. Fuck my feelings right now, Tweek needs this. He buries his face into the front of my jacket, struggling to contain his heavy sobs. I can feel his own arms wrap around me, somehow pulling me in even closer than I was before. We stay like this for a while, with only the sounds of his weeping and somebody's dog barking in the distance.

When he finally calms down, he reluctantly pulls away from me, refusing to look up at my face. "Do you ever..." He starts before shutting his mouth, a thoughtful look on his face. "Have you ever thought that if...maybe if you pretended to be or feel a certain way for long enough..then maybe it'd be true? Or- gah, I'm not making any sense, I'm so sorry-"

"No, no, no," I quickly blurt out before he can start calling himself stupid again. "I…." Memories of me pretending to not be heartbroken over Tweek, to be in love with Jenny, to move on, attack my brain. "I know exactly what you're talking about…." His head snaps up, and his eyes meet mine, silently urging me to go on. "…...Yeah, I've uh….I've done that...sort of..." I mumble, feeling like an idiot.

"I'm really good at acting," Tweek whispers and for a second I can't help but think of how out of the blue the statement is but then he continues. "Everyone else believed it….for years and they um..still do. She doesn't anymore- she did for a while. But not anymore….But uh..." This is usually the part where he'd look away but he keeps his eyes locked on my own and his face softens a bit. "I never could."

Dumbfounded, I can only stare back at him with what might be the most confused face I've ever worn and he reaches up to set a hand on my cheek, the same way Jenny did just a mere hour ago. It felt like it'd been ages. "It's been eating away at me for years..my therapist thought that- He told me it's not good to do that- To uh, fake it till you make it. At least when it comes to stuff like this." I'm still totally lost until he speaks again, his voice gaining an almost affectionate tone. "But you were gone so I didn't really see the point in coming out with it… I mean, I told her but she didn't want to hear it so I just...kept it to myself. But now you're back and at first, I thought, maybe I could just avoid you and pretend to be mad at you or something but- Molly and Trish- and when I saw you, I didn't feel mad at all, but the thought of you with someone else-"

"Tweek, what are you saying?" I choke out, my heart threatening to leap out of my chest if he goes on like this. He can't be saying what I think he is. What I hope he is. What he _can't_ be saying, because we're not two single teenagers, we're married adults and it's not about just us anymore.

"I know, I told Red to set you up with Jenny but I didn't think- I thought she'd say no because- Craig, I thought she was gay-"

"Tweek," I say again, louder this time. "What are you-"

"Craig," His voice sounds deadly serious, and he watches me carefully, searching my face for something but I don't what it is and then he says it, "You said you were pretending too." I nod and his next words come out in a rush, like if he doesn't say them quickly, he won't say them at all. "Do you have feelings for me?"

Every single memory I have of him- The time I played my guitar for him, our phone calls, the scooter- every little thing between us clouds my brain, eliminating all logic and reason. I can't think of anything else but him.

"Yes," I mumble, saying it quietly, like maybe he won't hear it.

And then his lips crash against mine.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm seventeen and so is she and we're sitting on the cold, marble floor in my parents basement.

Jenny Simon is one of the more popular girls in our school and also one of the friendliest. She waves hi to everybody in the halls and she's always the first to volunteer to tutor someone that needs the help. She's really pretty too. She isn't radiantly gorgeous like Bebe Stevens, or a beautiful badass like Nelly, but her brightest smile can make even the most confident boy in school go weak in the knees. Jenny's smart too, maybe not enough to be called the genius of the century, but the girl knows her stuff. She goes to parties and has a healthy social life, but everyone knows she'd rather have her nose in one of her medical books than do a keg stand with one of the football players. By all standards, Jenny Simon is a catch.

Jenny Simon is my girlfriend.

It's only been two weeks and you wouldn't be able to tell by the way we treat each other like strangers in public, but I'd say our relationship is a nice one. I feel happy when I'm with her and her smile somehow manages to shine ten times brighter when I'm around, so it's safe to assume she's more than satisfied with our relationship.

We're sitting across from each other, criss cross apple sauce style, and I'm holding my guitar, building up the courage to play her a song. The scene feels achingly familiar to another one, with a boy that had unknowingly broken my heart each and every day since he started dating someone else, but the burn feels less intense when Jenny's around. That's a good sign, I think to myself. This means I can get over him.

"I've never had a guy serenade me before," Jenny confides in me, her cheeks turning into a soft pink. "I'm a little nervous."

I laugh. " _You're_ nervous? You're not the one playing a song for the prettiest girl in school."

"Oh, stop it!" She squeals, burying her face in her hands to hide her darkening cheeks. I laugh some more, beginning to play quietly. Jenny lifts her face out of her hands, watching me with eager eyes as I begin to sing to her.

" _Jenny, darling, you're my best friend-"_

"Isn't that song about lesbians?"

"Shush, it's the only one I could find with your name in it!"

"I highly doubt that!"

"It was!"

"You couldn't just write me one?"

We're both laughing as we talk, enjoying our time together. Maybe I was a little in love with her back then. I smiled and laughed more with her, and I'd always liked the way she teased me over things like this- How she was comfortable enough to do it in the first place. Everyone else liked to jump to the conclusion that I was some unfunny asshole that couldn't take a playful jab. But not Jenny. She saw me for who I was. It would have made sense for me to fall in love with her and forget about everything else, leave my demons locked in the deepest chambers of my mind. But that's not how things happened. Because even if I did love her, even a little, it would have never been enough. There was someone else that I loved more.

"Okay, fine. I'll come up with one now," I compromise, strumming the strings of my guitar and filling the air with the music to a slow song. "I'm in my basement-" I start, sounding a bit awkward as I try to come up with lyrics. Jenny's giggling at the way my tongue sticks out of the side of my mouth as I think about it, coming up with nothing, so I go with the obvious. "-I'm with my girlfriend, Jenny, and I'm the luckiest guy ever because she's the best girlfriend-" Crap, what rhymes with ever? Um, um, um. "-…...ever..."

"Aww!" Jenny folds her hands together over her chest, batting her eyelashes at me. "How romantic! You should be a songwriter, Craig, that was really good!"

"I wasn't even finished yet, you jerk," I tease, flipping her off. She clicks her tongue at me, shaking her head in disapproval.

"That's no way to treat someone that was gonna give you a kiss."

"Oh? Are you gonna kiss me, Jenny?"

"I was. But I don't know anymore, since you're being so mean and all….Maybe if you apologize."

"You drive a hard bargain." I set my guitar down, freeing my hands to rub my chin slowly in thought. After a few moments of that, I nod my head decisively, reaching out to take one of Jenny's slender hands in my calloused ones. "I, Craig Tucker, would like to formally apologize for being an asshole to you."

"You're such a dork," Jenny tells me lovingly, moving forward to capture my lips in a gentle kiss. This is it, I think as she closes the distance, I'm going to feel fireworks and we're going to be in love and it's going to be great. I feel her soft lips meet my slightly chapped ones and I close my eyes, waiting for the feeling I'd heard so many of my friends talk about- The feeling that's romanticized in every love story I'd ever seen in a movie or read about in a book.

It never comes.

I feel nothing. No sparks, no fireworks, not the slightest bit of a connection. I feel cheated. Jenny pulls away after a few moments, touching her lips with the tips of her fingers and smiling like a lovesick fool. She looks at me and I do my best to return the expression, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

When I walk her home that night, she holds on to my arm just like she always does, nuzzling her cheek into my shoulder affectionately and I feel the same for her as I always do, like I don't want her to leave me just yet. Nothing's changed between us, we still love each other, but the question's still on my mind. Why didn't I feel anything? Jenny's nice and we get along and she knows me better than most, only falling behind Clyde and the rest of the guys. So what was the problem?

She kisses me again when I drop her off, this time wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me more passionately than before. Still nothing. As I walk home alone in the cold winter night, I decide that maybe I'm just over thinking it. Maybe you're not supposed to feel those things when you kiss someone you love. Maybe the other guys just lied about it because they saw it described that way in the movies.

That's it, I told myself, everyone else was just lying. You don't feel fireworks when you kiss. You just feel lips against yours, and that's all and that's okay.

I feel a little better, having come to this conclusion, and with my worries settled, I don't think about it again for years.

...

Fireworks.

Sparks.

The connection.

I feel all of that and more as I kiss Tweek, our tongues currently engaged in battle. I don't remember when our kiss had escalated to that point and I don't care. I'm way too fucking happy. The butterflies aren't just in my stomach anymore, they're all over my body and it feels like the world is spinning and if this wasn't an open mouthed kiss, I'd be smiling like an idiot against him. His hands are on my cheeks and my own hands are cradling his face, and oh fuck, I'm kissing Tweek. This is so unreal.

I could probably kiss him forever but I have to come up for air eventually and so does he, so I pull away from him slowly, gasping for air. I open my eyes and look down to see him staring at me with the most starry-eyed, lovestruck expression I'd ever seen on him and God, I want to kiss him again but just as I'm leaning in for more, two faces suddenly invade my brain.

Trish and Todd.

"Oh fuck," I whisper, feeling horrified with myself as I come to my senses. What the _fuck_ am I doing?

"What's wrong?" Tweek asks quietly, concern on his face. He runs his thumbs gently over my cheekbones and I let out a content sigh, leaning into his touch. It feels so right to have him touching me like this.

No, wait, this is bad. This is really bad.

"Fuck, Tweek, our wives..." I let go of him to smack a hand against my forehead, suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. I kissed somebody's husband. And not just anybody's husband. My _cousin's_ husband. Jesus fuck, Red had invested twenty fucking years into this guy- They had _kids_. And as if that isn't bad enough, I've got my own family to worry about. What would Trish and Todd say if they found out I was a dirty cheater? They'd never look at me the same way again. And then there was Jenny. Would she divorce me if she found out or try to work past it? Tweek had said something about Red ignoring him when he'd tried to tell her the truth about his feelings, would Jenny do that too?

And if she did divorce me, would she fight me for custody?

At that point, would either of my kids even want to stay with me?

I must be hyperventilating because Tweek's telling me to calm down, rubbing my arms up and down as he urges me to take deep breaths. Shouldn't he be more freaked out than I am right now? The role reversal between us only serves to throw me off even more, and I struggle to steady my breathing so I can finally talk to him and address what just happened. "Aren't- Don't you feel guilty?" I stutter out, searching his face for any hint of remorse.

"No," he admits in the calmest voice I'd heard him use since I came back to South Park, his face flushed but glowing, "I just feel lighter."

I frown at his confession, but not because I'm judging him although I guess I probably should be. Tweek had been pretending just as long as I had, and his mental health had always been way worse than mine so I can only imagine how that must have felt. If I'd been suffering all those years, I didn't even want to think about what he must have been feeling. But there was still something I was curious about. "Tweek, why didn't you- Why did you- Red. Why?" I finally blurt out, my mind still too jumbled up to form coherent sentences.

"She has your eyes," He shrugs. My heart soars when he says this but I can't help but feel a little bad for Red. Just a little though. The asshole inside of me wins over the concerned cousin, and he feels smug to know that every time Tweek looked into Red's eyes, he'd actually been thinking of me.

"No, no- I mean why- You pretended, why?"

"Oh," He sighs, twitching as he remembers, "I heard you tell Clyde that it'd be weird to date me."

"When did I-" I start, honestly confused but then I remember too. I'd insisted that neither of us were gay and that Clyde was only trying to make things weird, back when I was in denial. But Tweek was nowhere near us when I'd said that. Unless… "You slammed your locker and ran away."

He nods, staring down at his shoes now. They're brown loafers and by the looks of it, he wears them a lot. "I didn't want to make things weird, so when Red asked- I thought that would be a good way to just...forget about it. But it went on for too long."

I know how that feels.

It's silent for a while as we stare at the ground, and I imagine we both feel pretty stupid for putting ourselves into this situation. I start to think that maybe he'll say we should both just forget about this, that it's too late, but then I feel his band aid covered fingers wrap around my own and I know that ending this is the last thing on his mind. I should be the responsible one here, I should just yank my hand away and give him the facts: This can't happen because you're married and I'm married and we've got kids and we can't do this to them.

This would be easier if we didn't have kids, honestly. We could just leave our wives and be together. If you're not happy with someone, just leave. That's what people had always said when it came to the topic of cheating, but this. This was a lot more complicated. "I can't leave Jenny," I tell him, my voice cracking just the slightest bit. Even having said that, I interlock our fingers together, keeping his hand held in mine. I don't want to let go.

"You don't want me…?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I do," I rush out, and I can feel myself blushing when I see his face light up like a kid's on Christmas morning. Shit, stay on topic Craig, don't get distracted. "It's just. Kids."

"Oh. Right." He runs his fingers through his hair, face scrunched up in thought. He looks cute like that, I note, and without thinking I lean forward and kiss him again, softer than before. Tweek smiles against my lips just in time for me to jerk away from him. I'm not supposed to be doing that, I remind myself. Keep your lips to yourself, Tucker.

I should probably tell Tweek the same thing, because his lips chase mine and I can't help but melt at how sweet it feels. This time when he kisses me, it's not urgent and rough, but tender and loving. Why didn't we do this sooner? When he pulls away from me, he gives me an amused smile at my still puckered lips, which obviously weren't ready for his to leave them yet, and takes a deep breath before his expression turns into a more serious one. There's determination in his eyes when he finally speaks, "We can make this work. Somehow. We'll figure it out."

"How?"

"I don't know yet," He sighs, "We should probably talk it over but um..."

"But?" I'm not sure where he's going with this and as I search his face for clues, I find nothing except a vague happiness. He wasn't stammering anymore and he seemed to have more confidence in his words and I'm beginning to understand what he meant when he said he felt lighter. It wasn't just a weight off of his shoulders, although that was part of it. Tweek's _happy_.

"But I still want to be with you no matter what we come up with. If, um, that's alright with you of course." I can hear the nervous edge in his voice as he stares at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. It's an obvious one.

"It's more than alright," I assure him, giving him a quick peck on the lips again. We sure are kissing a lot today, but that might be because of how long we've wanted this. I still remember one of my sob sessions with Ruby, when Red and Tweek had their one year anniversary. That was when I'd really lost all hope and I still remember agonizing over the belief that I'd never know what it felt like to kiss him. As unfair as it might be to Jenny and Red, I'm so glad that I was wrong.

Jenny and Red.

Goddammit, I'm such a piece of shit.

"I'm so glad," Tweek breathes out a sigh of relief, hugging me again. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world, and also like I'm going to get whiplash from my mood swings since I've gone back and forth from hating myself and what I'm doing to loving what I'm doing and not wanting to stop ever at least thirty two times in the last five or six minutes. Speaking of which, it's time to be self loathing again because I suddenly realize a very important piece of information that neither of us had addressed yet: We're outside where anyone could see us.

I look around in every direction to make sure there aren't any witnesses to my crime- God, calling it that feels so wrong but it's honestly fitting, I mean, what else do you call this other than cheating?- and push Tweek away from me as gently as possible. "Maybe this," I wave my hands around, indicating the outdoors, "isn't the best place to talk."

"Oh yeah, you're right..um..." An imaginary light bulb appears above his head as he grabs my hand again, leading me down the street. We go over a couple blocks and my feet are getting kind of tired when he releases me, digging through his pockets for something. It's only when he pulls out a key that I realize we must be in front of his house. "Red won't be home until morning and Blue's with my mom," Tweek hurriedly explains when he sees the uneasy look on my face.

He pushes the door open and as we walk in, I can't help but feel like I'm trespassing. The bathroom door is open and from where I'm standing, I can see empty bottles of hair dye sitting on the sink, all of them a very familiar shade of red. There's several beer bottles scattered around the floor and Tweek's cursing quietly to himself as he picks them up, carrying them over to the kitchen where I assume the wastebasket is and all the while apologizing to me for the mess while also mumbling about how Red needs to learn how to clean up after her damn self.

"I really am sorry," he says again as he comes back into the living room, making his way over to the worn down couch in front of the television. "We don't have people over very often." He plops down onto the couch, patting the seat next to him. I awkwardly oblige his request, leaving a little space between us when I sit down.

"It's fine," I utter in regards to his apologies, clearing my throat as he fumbles around for something. "Not very many guests, huh? That's weird, Red was always a social butterfly in school."

"She still is," Tweek confirms, now feeling in between the cushions for whatever it is he's searching for, "She'd just rather go to them than bring them here- I swear if I find it in one of their rooms."

"What are you looking for?"

"The remote. Molly and Blue fight over it a lot so sometimes-" He pauses to rub his temples, his face screwing up in annoyance, "Sometimes they'll hide it. Usually they put it in their underwear drawers, but other times- Molly threw it into a tree once."

"Into a tree?" I couldn't see the mild mannered Molly fighting with anyone, let alone throwing something into a tree just so no one else could have it.

"Yeah, I know, I had to climb to get it down but then uh-" He looks embarrassed as he hesitates to go on, but he sucks in a breath and continues anyway, red as a tomato, "Then _I_ couldn't get down. So Blue called the fire department."

"Oh my god," I can just picture the scene all too clearly. I imagine it looked strikingly similar to firefighters trying to save a cat from a tree, with the cat clinging to the branch and the firefighters gently coaxing it into letting itself be rescued. "Did anybody see?"

"Oh yeah, the neighborhood kids stood around taking pictures. It was quite the show."

"I can imagine," I laugh, wishing I could have seen it for myself. Then again, if I'd been there, I could have just gotten the remote for Tweek and saved him from the embarrassment. If only, if only.

"Have your kids ever done anything like that?"

I grimace. "Todd shaved my eyebrows off when he was four and Trish once drew a dick on my face in sharpie. I went to work with it there and nobody told me until a customer pulled up."

"Are you serious?"

"About which one?"

"Both, I guess!" Tweek's lost interest in his hunt for the remote, now focused on my eyebrows.

"Yeah, unfortunately. Todd saw Jenny fix up one of her friends eyebrows and he wanted to be like mommy so. You know. It took them like a year to fully grow back."

Tweek scoots closer to me, tracing his finger along the edge of one of my eyebrows. "Yikes," is all he says, cringing at the thought. "And I thought what happened to me was embarrassing….what about the sharpie dick?"

This time it's me that cringes. "I really don't want to think about where Trish saw one to draw it so accurately, but it was huge and it was on my cheek." I pinch the bridge of my nose, still annoyed at myself for not noticing something was off sooner when I'd walked into work that day, what with everyone smiling at me so weirdly. "My coworkers didn't say shit and when one of them did, he yelled across the garage, 'Better wipe that dick off your face, Tucker!' like I knew it was there in the first place or something."

"Did you manage to wipe it off?"

"No," I grumble, rubbing my cheek at the memory, "Dave just had me cover it up with a band aid. But the only ones he had were these Dora the Explorer ones so I had to walk around with fucking Swiper on my face the whole damn day."

Tweek stifles a laugh, hiding his growing smile behind his hands as his nose scrunches up. I grin, pleased with myself for being able to get this sort of reaction out of him. No matter what was going on with him, I knew I'd always be able to make him laugh. He told me so himself, back in seventh grade, and it's still a sense of pride in me.

As much as I'm enjoying the lighthearted conversation we've been having, I figure it's best to just get down to business. This is way too important to ignore. "So," I start, my voice a bit wobbly from the nerves, "What are we going to do about this?" I point at him and then at myself, folding my hands in my lap afterward.

Tweek thinks about it for a minute, inhaling deeply and then releasing the air through his nostrils, his eyes screwed shut in concentration. "I'm going to divorce Red and move out," he finally says, nodding his head decisively.

"Whoa," My eyes bulge out a little at his words and my jaw drops open. To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. Didn't he want to think this over a little more? This is still really new and even though I'd spent most of my high school years keeping my fingers crossed in the hopes that he'd leave her, I feel awful thinking that she's getting dropped so quickly for me. "Isn't that a little fast?"

"I've been wanting to for years but she-" He shuts his mouth mid-sentence, and I can hear him grinding his teeth together harshly before he finishes, "I haven't been able to do it."

I would make him explain further, ask him what he was originally going to say, but by the way he's starting to shake again, I can tell that it's something he's not ready to tell me yet. He rubs his face as his eye twitches, making little sounds of discomfort so I wrap an arm around him and pull him closer. His shaking calms down a bit as leans into me, letting me hold him as he tries to regain his composure. "Shhh...shhh...you're okay. You're okay," I murmur to him, lifting my free hand to the top of his head and stroking his hair gently.

He lets out a shaky breath, mumbling out little apologies for inconveniencing me with his sudden episode and I tighten my hold on him, softly reminding him that he shouldn't worry about inconveniencing me and that I don't mind at all. "I'm sorry if I made you remember something bad," I whisper, kissing the top of his head.

"You didn't." Tweek replies in a hushed tone, nestling closer to me.

I wait for him to stop shaking before I speak again. "I don't know if I can leave Jenny."

He doesn't say anything for a while, not moving an inch though I would have understood if he'd thrown me out. It probably sounded like I was rejecting him. His ear's pressed against my chest and I wonder if he can hear my heartbeat hammering when he finally asks me, "Why not?"

"I…."

"Are you in love with her?"

"No," I say honestly, and I hear him release a relieved sigh.

"Then what?"

I swallow thickly, my mouth suddenly feeling very dry as I picture what my kids reactions might be if they knew what I was doing. "I don't want my kids to hate me," I confess, ducking my head.

"Ah," He shifts a little uneasily against me and I hear him click his tongue. He's trying to think of a response that might ease my fears, but he can't because of how valid they are. What kid wouldn't hate their dad for leaving their mom for someone else? I vaguely remember feeling a little miffed whenever my own dad merely glanced at another woman that wasn't mom, I had no reason to believe my kids would be anywhere near accepting of this. "….We could um...Just keep this between ourselves then...if you want."

"You mean like stop?"

"No!" He jumps up out of my arms, shaking his head wildly as he stands, "I mean- Gah, look- If you're that worried, then we can- Nobody has to know but us."

This isn't the first time tonight I've thought this, but I'll think it again, over and over until I finally get a grip and shut this down.

 _This is wrong._

I'd heard about forbidden fruit, read about it in my mom's cheesy old romance novels. There's always something about that one person you can't have that makes them so much more desirable than they were before. And considering I've had feelings for Tweek since the fourth grade, I'm certain that the lust consuming me is about fifty times stronger than the average man's craving for the unattainable object of his affections.

But Tweek isn't unattainable anymore. He used to be and it made me hurt so bad, in so many ways. I cried myself to sleep over this guy, felt sick to my stomach when I watched him with Red all while smiling at him like nothing was wrong and now it was _me_ he wanted. According to him, he'd always wanted me but I just had to choose my pride over him, didn't I?

This time could be different. The stakes were higher but if no one found out-

No, that's stupid. Even if I take this to my grave, it'll still be shitty. It's not fair to Jenny and Red, it's not fair to Trish and Todd, it's not fair to Molly and Blue. And it's definitely not fair to Tweek, who I can tell wants so much more than just a scandalous affair. I can see it in the way he looks at me- He wants to give us an actual try, he's even ready to leave Red for it now. Tweek could say all he wanted about him planning his divorce for months, but we both know the truth. I'm the reason he's finally working up the nerve to go through with it. He's ready to take this leap for me, ready to possibly ruin things with his kids and when he hears that I won't even consider it, he settles for being 'the other woman'.

He deserves more than this.

"Let me talk to Jenny," I finally say, and he perks up a bit, immediately understanding what I'm implying. It takes all I have to suppress a grin at this, and I gesture for him to come sit with me again. "But first I want to finish talking to you." He nods, slumping down on the couch and leaning into me again as my arm automatically wraps around him. We used to cuddle like this all the time before Red and it's now that it occurs to me that we've been apart for longer than thirteen years. Our high school years were spent trying to distance ourselves from each other, him on my cousin's arm and me, first throwing myself into my studies and then later giving all of my free time to Jenny Simon. Twenty years lost because of a misunderstanding.

We've got a lot of catching up to do.

"Tell me everything I missed."

...

It's four in the morning when we start walking back to my house, Tweek insisting on walking me home. I'd tried to protest, paranoid of what the neighbors would think but he just waves me off, pointing out that he has to pick up Molly so they can open up the coffee shop anyway. "So you took over the family business after all, huh?" I can see my breath when I open my mouth to talk and I shove my hands into my pockets to keep them from getting too cold. When I'd told my coworkers in Minnesota that I was moving down south, they'd all commented on how lucky I was to be moving to a warmer area. Little did they know that South Park was perpetually freezing, to the point that the no hats in school rule was ignored because of the temperature.

"Yeah, after um..." He sucks in sharp breath, and out of the corner of my eye, I see his nose twitch, "After my dad died, I uh- Figured I should help mom but she doesn't really show up much anymore so..."

"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry-"

He shakes his head, a weak smile on his face as he comes to a stop. We're in front of my house. "Don't be," he tells me, "It was a long time ago." I frown at him, pulling out my keys and leading him to the door, thinking about all the things I could say to him to make him understand how sorry I am I wasn't there for him when it happened, but I ultimately keep my mouth shut. Now's not the time. We could have talked about it last night, but after he told me countless stories about his kids and I ranted to him about my asshole coworkers from Minnesota, we'd apparently decided that we'd done enough catching up for one night and opted for a make out session on his couch instead.

"Hey, so." I push the door open, letting him in before closing it behind us. Tweek waits patiently for me to continue with what I was saying, an amused little grin growing on his face when I lean against the wall like some greaser kid spitting game at an unsuspecting goody two shoes. "You free Sunday?" I try to ask as casually as possible, but the words end up sounding like they'd be better fit coming from a nervous schoolkid asking out the most popular girl in school. He nods bashfully, and I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. "You wanna meet up at Todd's baseball tryouts? Jenny never goes and I'm sure Trish would be stoked to see Molly."

He hesitates, blinking hard as he thinks it over. "Yeah.." he finally whispers, cheeks tinted pink, "Yeah, I'd like that. What time?"

"It's at around eleven in the morning, over by where we used to play. You remember where that is, right?"

"Of course, we spent pretty much every summer there," he reminds me.

"Okay, cool, so I guess I'll uh. See you there."

"Cool."

There's a pause.

"…..So Molly-"

"Oh! Right, right. Yeah, follow me." I flip the light switch near the staircase on, making my way up and leading Tweek down the hall to my daughter's room. The house is quiet, and when I slowly open Trish's door, fully expecting to have a pillow thrown at me for not knocking, I'm greeted by the sight of about fourteen sleeping sixth graders scattered around the messy floor. Tweek pokes his head in, his eyes scanning the room for Molly for so long that I debate turning the lights on to make it easier on him but his eyes seem to finally land on her and his face softens. He nudges me with his elbow, pointing toward Trish's bed and I have to resist the urge to whip my phone out and take a picture of what I'm seeing.

Trish and Molly are holding hands while they sleep, cuddled up closely together with the covers kicked off onto the floor. Their pajamas look nice next to each other, I think, Trish with her gray sweatpants and white Spy Sisters t-shirt and Molly with her purple long sleeve and matching bottoms. Tweek carefully navigates through the sleeping children on the floor, gently shaking his daughter awake. "Molly, it's time to go," he says softly, "We have to go get your brother and open the store."

She grumbles a bit, her eyelids fluttering open and she sits up, releasing Trish's hand to rub the sleep out of her eyes. "Daaaaaaad," Molly whines quietly, careful not be too loud so she doesn't disturb her peers, "I told you not to pick me up so early." Her voice is groggy and she squints at him, slowly waking up.

"I'm sorry, baby," he apologizes to her in a hushed tone, his hand reaching out as if to stroke her hair or something. Molly flinches and he quickly pulls his hand back as if he'd touched an open flame, and when he speaks again, I finally hear the guilt I'd been looking for earlier. "I promise you'll see your friend again soon, okay?"

Molly sighs deeply, getting off the bed and wordlessly moving to gather her things. Something tells me she doesn't believe him. I walk them both to the door so I can lock it and when I glance at their intertwined hands, I notice Molly isn't holding his back. Before they leave, she surprises me by tugging on my sleeve, looking up at me with big, pleading eyes. "You'll tell Trish I said bye, right? And that I'm sorry for leaving early?"

"Of course," I assure her, and she surprises me again by pulling her hand free of Tweek's to give me a quick, grateful hug.

It's obvious now that she's a lot more like her mother than I'd ever bothered to think about. Tweek was never the type to hug one of his friend's parents like this. Red was. Despite her fiery personality that made most people assume she was the 'touch me and I'll kill you' type, Red was a hugger.

Considering I'd spent most of my night playing tonsil hockey with a married man, I don't think I deserve hugs from either of them.

I pat her back as she releases me, thanking me repeatedly only to be cut off by Tweek. "Thanks for tonight," he says softly, smiling at me.

I feel my lips pull up at the corners, almost forgetting about the child standing in between us. Almost. I catch myself before I can try anything, mentally slapping myself for nearly being so risky. "Yeah, no problem."

Molly looks back and forth between us, eyebrow raised in question but she says nothing until they walk out the door. Her hand in his again, I watch them make their way down the steps and I see her when she looks up at him, and as I'm closing the door, I hear her too; "I haven't seen you smile like that in a while, dad."

...

Our room is dark and quiet, only the sounds of my wife's even breathing filling the air. The blinds are open, letting in some moonlight from the night sky which highlights Jenny's sleeping form.

She has no clue about what I've done.

Quietly as my heavy feet can manage, I trudge over to my side of the bed, lifting up the covers and slowly sinking into the mattress, careful not to wake her. My efforts are in vain as I feel her begin to stir beside me, her eyes cracking open to look me over. She gives me a tired half smile, yawning a bit. "That was a long walk," she comments cheekily, rolling over on her side to face me better.

"Yeah, sorry, I went out with Clyde and the guys." It's not a lie. That is what happened.

"And after that?" Jenny inquires, her words coming out slow and hushed.

"What do you mean?" I ask her innocently, slightly panicked. If this was some sort of trap, then I was fucked. I'd never been too good at Jenny's mind games, not even in grade school when they should have been easy for me to figure out.

She eyes me suspiciously, her eyebrows scrunching together. She didn't like that answer.

"Clyde texted Bebe that you left. Where did you go?"

"I was with Tweek at his house," I blurt out, ready to get this over with. This is it. The moment of truth. Jenny doesn't scream at me right away, she doesn't tear up or look away from me in shock. She actually looks relaxed.

"Oh," she mumbles dumbly, a soft chuckle escaping through her lips, "And here I thought you were cheating."

The combination of her bluntness and immediate assumption that I wasn't actually confessing to the crime she'd silently accused me of renders me speechless. In a way, I sort of expected her to go off on a tirade about how she knew I was gay for Tweek all along, say something about how she could just tell by the way I looked at him, that she knew something was up when I suddenly became so mopey around the time of his engagement. Instead, she almost looked relieved to hear I'd spent nearly my whole night with him. As far as she knows, he's my old friend from high school that I pretty much forgot about entirely when we'd moved away, nothing more, nothing less.

This makes me dread the conversation I have planned for us later even more than I did before.

"So Trish's sleepover was a success," Jenny informs me, beaming at me proudly like she'd accomplished some great feat. She's already past her little interrogation of me, mind at ease with the information she'd received. "Well, insofar anyway. I think that Molly's a good influence on her, she's a lot more chatty when that one's around."

With the mention of my lover's daughter, I quickly change the subject, desperate to talk about something or someone that won't remind me of my sin. "That's good," I reply coolly, and before she can give me any more details on the sleepover, I bring up the first pure thing that comes to mind. "So when did Todd come home?"

Sirens go off in my head when I see her eyes go wide, my heart stopping for a split second. The longer she goes without responding, the more uneasy I feel and when it becomes too much for me, I practically leap up from the bed, muttering curses as I barrel down the stairs, only pausing to snatch up my shoes and grab my keys. Even through my sock covered feet, I can feel the snow nipping at me hungrily, desperate to give me frostbite.

I ignore the uncomfortable feeling, climbing into the drivers seat of my car and slamming the door. It's only when I insert the key into the ignition that I realize I have no idea where I'm going. The first three places I can think to check would be his friend's houses but I don't even know where they live. Just as I'm thinking, fuck it, I'll kick down every door in South Park until I find him, I feel something vibrating in my pocket.

Oh.

Right.

I have a phone.

Aren't I a fucking genius?

A small, naive part of me hopes that it's Todd calling to let me know where he is, a hope which only grows when I see that it's an unknown number. Please, please let this be him calling from one of his friends phones. I press the answer key, holding the device closely to my ear. "Todd?"

"No, it's Token," a mature voice sounds from the other end. "Sorry for calling so late, man, but you never came back so I just wanted to ask what ha-"

"Hate to cut you off, but do you know where Stan lives?!" I demand, adrenaline pumping through my veins and _god where the fuck is this child._

"Yeah, he lives in the Jefferson's old house. Did something happen? You sound really on edge," Token worries. He doesn't know the half of it.

"Thanks, man. I can't explain right now, I'm kind of in a hurry, but I'll call you as soon as I can." I hang up, tossing my phone into the passenger seat and pulling out of my driveway as quickly as possible. The houses are only a colorful blur as I zoom past them, the last concern on my mind a speeding ticket from Officer Barbrady or whoever was running the police joint now. All I can think about is finding Todd right now. I knew I shouldn't have let him hang around Stan's Gang the Sequel. I knew it. God, my poor kids probably in another country by now or maybe racing shopping carts suddenly became a federal offense and he's in prison right now, facing a life sentence.

 _What if I never see him again._

No. No. That's dramatic. I'll find him. I have to.

I slam on the brakes when I pull up to Stan's house and throw the car door open, stomping up to the porch. My socks are drenched and just as I raise my fist to pound on the door, it flies open, a bundled up Conner Marsh gasping in surprise when he sees me.

"-because I'm fucking sick of you getting black out drunk and turning into a cynical _asshole_ , Stanley!" Conner flinches at the harshness in his mother's tone, stepping out of the house enough to quietly shut the door behind him.

"Where did you last see Todd?"

It's the first thing that comes out of my mouth, my voice leaking with desperation. I should probably be asking why Conner Marsh is seemingly sneaking out at such an odd hour, but my brain is too focused on locating my missing child. That and, it's all too clear why he's leaving. I used to sneak out when my parents fought like this too. Conner jumps a bit at the urgency in my voice, lips pressing together thoughtfully. "I think he said something about going home with Billy."

Billy. The bad influence. Great. "Are you sure?"

The boy nods, "Uh huh, pretty sure!"

A loud crash sounds from inside the house and we both wince.

"Sounds like they're really going at it," I mutter, feeling a scowl form on my face. Conner nods again, his lips shaping into a lopsided frown. I remember those kind of nights. My parents screaming matches had usually caused Ruby and I to huddle up in the deepest corners of my closet, hands pressed against our ears in a desperate attempt to block out the chaos taking place in the room down the hall. No kid deserves to have to listen to that. Not even the kid of my former rival. "You want me to drive you to Billy's? I kind of need someone to show me where he lives." Fingers crossed he doesn't kick me in the shin and run back inside screaming about stranger danger.

"Really?" Conner looks awestruck by the offer and when I hum my approval, he nods his head more enthusiastically than he had the first two times, stumbling over his words in his excitement, "Yeah- um yeah! That would be really….very...That'd be nice, thank you."

We drive in silence for the longest time, with only Conner's occasional "Take a left here" or "Keep going- now take a right" breaking it. Wendy and Stan evidently never took the time to warn their offspring about the dangers of kidnapping because Conner jumped into my car pretty fast for only meeting me once. He's buckled into the passenger seat, which normally I wouldn't have allowed except for it's easier for him to give me directions this way and also I don't really have it in me right now to force him into the back. The only thing keeping me sane is the hope that Todd just decided to have a spur of the moment sleepover with Billy and that he isn't tied up in somebody's basement begging to be released.

Jesus fuck, I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about the latter part of that sentence.

"Soooooo." Conner has apparently decided to strike up a conversation and judging by the tone of his voice, I can tell that this is going to be an awkward one. "That Billy kid, right?"

"What about him?"

"What do ya think about him?" Conner asks. The way he says it reminds me of when Red cornered me junior year and pestered me about hooking up with Jenny Simon. He has the same tone, the kind that just lets you know that the question isn't as innocent as it sounds. That there's a purpose behind it.

With Jenny, the purpose was to figure out if she was my type. They wanted to know if I'd go for her, which considering I'm on the hunt for our child right now, the answer was yes I would.

But for Billy, I can't really think of why Conner would want to know my thoughts on him.

What do I think of Billy McCormick?

I don't really know much about the kid other than he likes to race shopping carts and that he's really nice to Todd.

"He seems alright," I answer.

"Mhm," Conner hums, sounding a lot like a therapist. I half expect him to ask me how I feel next, but instead he queries, "Does he seem alright enough for Todd?"

Huh?

Alright enough for Todd?

My eyebrows crunch together in confusion. What the fuck is he talking about? Wait, did he somehow find out that I think Billy's a bad influence? Because it's not just Billy, I've been wary of Conner and Wyatt too, since the day Todd introduced them to me, so I don't understand why Billy's the one being singled out. Before I can ask Conner anything about this though, I notice a very familiar figure sitting on top of one of the picnic tables near Stark's Pond just as we're passing it. I make a U-turn the first chance I get and I somehow manage to restrain myself from just driving straight to the table, parking on the side of the road.

"Hey, there's Todd and the guys!" Conner notifies me helpfully, pointing in the direction of his friends. I yank my shoes on as quickly as I can and throw my car door open. The sound alerts the boys and the three of them turn around to see what's going on. Todd's sitting in the middle of Billy and Wyatt, his face paling when he spots me.

I rush forward, clambering over the table to yank him into a tight hug, holding him like he's been missing for decades instead of just a few hours. Fuck, those hours _felt_ like decades. "What the _hell_ were you thinking, staying out so late without telling anybody?! You scared the shit out of me!" I release him from the hug, but only to pepper kisses on his beautiful, wonderful face that I thought I'd never see again.

Todd's face is bright red, his mouth pouring out guilty apologies as he tries to push me away from him. He's only using one hand, I notice, and my eyes dart down to search for the other one. It's wrapped around Billy's, who no longer has Kenny's old coat around his waist. "Wait, hang on," an alarmed voice starts from the other side of Todd. It's Wyatt and he sounds so much like Kyle, it makes me feel like plugging my ears to avoid an incoming speech. "What time is it?!"

"It's four in the morning, nerd," Conner calls from somewhere behind me, having gotten out of the car to greet his buddies.

A dramatic gasp escapes Wyatt's lips, "Oh _man_ ," he groans in a very Kyle-like manner, "I'm gonna get it!"

"You better start walking," Billy chuckles, entertained by his pals misfortune.

I finally look away from Todd long enough to glance at Wyatt, who now wears a scowl on his face. He looks a lot like Nelly right now, murder flashing through his milky brown eyes. Right. He's Nelly's son too. It's really weird thinking of Kyle and Nelly together to be honest. Nelly was a no-nonsense girl, she spoke her mind and she wasn't afraid to throw hands. She was also scary as all hell. Kyle, on the other hand, was a little different. Unlike Nelly, he let people get to him and while he was all for standing up for his beliefs, I'd never seen him fist fight anyone outside of his friend group. Of course, I might have just missed it whenever he did but even then, he still had nothing on Nelly who seemed to fight somebody every week.

Another difference is, I liked Nelly. It was nice having someone to talk to while waiting outside Mackey's office. When Nelly wasn't scowling or cracking her knuckles with an ominous air surrounding her, she was actually really funny.

"I'll drive you guys home," I offer, though it comes out sounding like a statement. They look like they're about to protest- maybe they're afraid I'm going to lecture them, which I'm not, Kenny and Kyle can deal with their own kids- but I wave my hand around as if to swat away their arguments, turning to trudge through the snow back to my car, "I'm not letting a bunch of fourth graders walk home alone when it's this dark out."

The boys are mostly quiet, except for some whispering going on between Wyatt, Conner and Billy in the back. In the passenger seat, Todd sinks low into the cushions as if trying to disappear and avoid the earful he's going to get once his friends are gone. Jenny will probably ground him for two weeks at the least. That's probably not the part he's afraid of, though. It's the screaming. Jenny gets loud when she's pissed.

The last time she went off on our kids, it got so bad that I had to step in and tell her to crank it down a couple notches, that Trish didn't fucking mean to drop the glass she'd been holding. "You're too easy on them," Jenny had huffed, pulling her coat on and leaving to cool her head. Good thing she left too. The last thing our kids needed was to see us in a screaming match.

"My house is right here," Wyatt announces, pointing to one of the standard two story homes lined up along the block. His house is painted green and the lights are on, which would normally make me wonder what the Broflovski's are doing up so late but I already know that answer to that. "Thank you, Mr. Tucker," Wyatt says, climbing out of the car and waving farewell to his friends. Billy and Conner salute him as if he's going off to war- Kyle and Nelly must be those strict parents all the kids are afraid of – and Wyatt barely makes it to the door before Nelly appears on the porch, her hands set firmly on her hips and her face a familiar angry shade of pink that reminds me of the time she beat the shit out of Marjorine for kicking her back in fourth grade. Kyle stands behind her, his arms folded over his chest and by the way his foot is tapping, I can tell that Wyatt's in for one hell of a lecture.

"Prayer circle for Wyatt," I mumble, making the remaining boys chuckle. I pull out of the Broflovski's driveway just as Nelly and Kyle usher their young one inside and start driving in the direction of Billy's house. He doesn't live too far from Wyatt actually, and with Conner's directions earlier still fresh in my mind, I find the house in no time flat.

"Thanks Todd's dad!" Conner exclaims eagerly before nudging Todd's shoulder and giving him a knowing little smile, his eyes darting down to my son's waist. Tied around it is the parka I'd noticed Billy no longer had earlier. Todd blushes as Conner wiggles his eyebrows, his tone sounding playful when he says, "See ya Todd~" and gets out of the car.

Todd hurriedly unties the ratty thing from his waist, yanking it off and shoving it at Billy's face when he leans in to maybe whisper something in Todd's ear. The boy makes a small noise of surprise but shakes it off rather quickly, mumbling his thanks and getting out as well.

It's just us now.

This is probably the part where I rant endlessly to him, going on and on about what the hell he was thinking staying out so late without telling anyone and does he know how worried I was? But lucky for him, I've never been too good at the whole scolding thing. I didn't like the upset, somewhat scared little look my kids got on their faces when I raised my voice at them, the way they'd flinch as if they expected me to hit them. As a result, I rarely ever did it, instead leaving that to Jenny while I usually stood behind her and nodded in agreement with whatever she said or if told her to calm down if she was being too harsh.

I'm starting to think about whether or not it's a good thing I let Jenny handle all the punishments, wondering if she feels a little resentful toward me for making her play The Bad Guy when I pull into our driveway, Todd staring at me in anticipation.

"Don't uh- don't do that again, okay son? You have to let us know where you are at all times," I tell him and he nods eagerly, slowly relaxing as he realizes I'm not going to yell at him.

"Okay!" he chirps, unbuckling his seat belt, "I'm so sorry, dad! I just- Lost track of time, you know?"

"I understand, Todd. Just- Don't let it happen again. I was worried sick."

Todd apologizes again as we get out of the car, hesitating when we make it to the front door. I don't have to ask him to know he's worried about Jenny hounding him when we step inside. "I'll talk to your mother," I assure him, "Just go to your room and sleep, okay?"

"Thanks dad," Todd says softly as I unlock the door and push it open, his voice grateful and relieved.

Once I'm sure he's in his room, I go into my own, crawling under the covers next to Jenny, who's managed to fall asleep again. Nice to see she was worried about Todd, I think somewhat bitterly.

On the bright side, maybe that means she won't yell at him.

I think about the conversation I'm planning to have with her later and wonder if she'll yell at me like she does them. I'd deserve it of course- Hell, she could even hit me if she wanted to, I get it. Jenny's spent over a decade of her life on me, she has every right to be pissed. But then there's the possibility that she'll cry instead of scream and the thought of that scares me more than having her scream at me.

I wonder if she even sees it coming. We've been distant for years, but I was so involved with our kids that it didn't even matter. I wasn't lonely without her and there was no one else around that could've caught my eye, so it had worked.

And then we came back to South Park.

Since we'd moved here, our kids had changed a bit. Or at least their social lives did. They'd had friends in our old town, sure, but here it was different. Trish practically spent every waking minute with Molly or on the phone with Molly, when in Minnesota she only hung out with her friends- which she hadn't even called that, introducing them to me as 'the people she's around a lot'- maybe once or twice a _month_. In a way, I kind of feel like she replaced me as her best friend and I wonder if maybe this is how my mom felt when I ditched her for Clyde.

As for Todd, well- he'd always been a social butterfly, taking after his mother in being one of the popular kids in school. But even then, he'd been spending a lot more time with Billy and those other kids than he ever did with his baseball buddies back at his old school.

I've always know Jenny was distant. Especially when it came to our kids. But it only really hits me now that Trish and Todd are spending more time away from me.

In just one night, I felt closer to Tweek than I had with Jenny in years.

I close my eyes, willing myself to sleep as I think that maybe, in the end, us separating will be good for both of us.

I wake up to fucking Ruby in my bed, grinning at me while striking that draw me like one of your french girls pose. She looks so damn proud of herself when I crack my eyes open and glare at her, still feeling tired because of how late I was up last night. I roll over before she can say anything, hoping that she'll take the hint and leave so I can get some more sleep, but Karen's on my other side, smiling at me sweetly. I groan, "alright, alright, I'm up," sitting up as they laugh at my expense, high fiving behind my back.

"You say that like it's seven in the morning," Ruby chuckles, moving over in the bed so she can be closer to Karen, "You know it's already past noon, right?"

"I was up late last night."

"Yeah, we heard about Todd's little vanishing act. Reminds me of when you ran away to Peru, remember that?"

"I didn't run away, I got conned," I snap, climbing out of bed to rummage through my clothes drawer for clean clothes. I hear Ruby snort, Karen giggling as she always does when me and Ruby act like this, before she speaks again.

"Jenny's in there, you're gonna have to wait a bit."

"Thanks for the heads up," I mumble, turning to face them again, "So why'd you guys think that climbing into bed with me would be a good way to wake me up?"

"We didn't," Ruby informs me, "We just wanted to see how you'd react."

Karen nods, "We were laying there for like ten minutes. It was starting to get boring."

"Yeah, I was about five minutes away from just dumping ice cold water on you."

"I would have kicked your ass."

"Psh, you _wish_ you could kick my ass."

I roll my eyes at her, "You guys here to pick up Lucy?"

They share a look, both of them looking ready to squeal. I don't even get a chance to ask what that's about when Karen blurts out the answer, rambling, "No! We tried to drop her off last night and oh my God, Craig, it was sooo _cute_! She didn't want us to leave her! Like, usually she wants to be with the big girls more than anything but she didn't even _care_ about them! She wanted us!"

"We took like, two steps away from the porch and she starts wailing about 'I'll never forget you!'- like, she thought we weren't coming back. I felt so bad," Ruby laughs and Karen's bouncing up and down in her excitement, her eyes squinted in mirth.

"Yeah! So Ruby goes back to tell her we'll be back for her in the morning, right? And Lucy just throws herself at her and clings like a baby ape or something!"

"Nice one, Kar, comparing our baby to a gorilla."

"Oh, shush!" Karen swats Ruby's leg playfully, "It was just cute, okay?!"

"It was," Ruby agrees, "So we just took her home and promised to bring her in the morning so she could play with Trish. And here we are!" She waves her hand in the air, referring to the room.

"That little girl's got you guys wrapped around her chubby little finger," I comment, my lips curving into an amused grin at their excitement.

Ruby nods, "Yup, she says shit, we say where."

"Gross Ruby! That doesn't even make sense!" Karen tries to sound annoyed but the smile on her face gives her away.

"Your face doesn't make sense," Ruby teases, sticking her tongue out at her wife.

It's when Karen leans forward to lick Ruby's tongue that I decide it's time for me to leave, whirling around to rush out the door but Karen's up in record time, grabbing onto my arm to keep me from leaving. "Wait, wait! We had something to tell you!"

I quirk an eyebrow. "You got another baby on the way?"

"No- Oh, that'd be so nice though," Karen sighs dreamily before shaking her head and continuing, "Um- but no! Lucy's birthday party is next weekend and we want you to come!"

"Correction. Lucy's birthday party is next weekend and you are coming for sure," Ruby walks up to stand next to her wife who's about a foot shorter than her, using her head as an armrest. Karen doesn't seem to mind, more interested in my answer as she watches me with hopeful eyes, like there's even a possibility I'll say no.

"Hell yeah I'll go."

Karen claps her hands together excitedly, beaming. "Perfect! Oh my gosh, that's so perfect! This'll be the first time Lucy has her whole family there! And I bet Kevin and Kenny will be glad to see you too!"

"Not as glad as Billy'll be to see Todd," Ruby says in a tone similar to the one Conner had used when he'd asked me what my thoughts on the McCormick kid were.

Karen's eyebrows furrow together, a thoughtful look on her face. "But wait, aren't they cousins?"

"Uh, no? I don't think so."

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" I groan, just wanting someone to fucking explain what this is all about.

They exchange a look.

"He's your brother, you do it."

"What- Karen!"

"I think I hear Lucy calling me," Karen declares, shoving past me and leaving me alone with Ruby.

"Aw man…." Ruby grumbles, stomping back over to the bed like a pissed off two year old and plopping down on it. She pats the spot next to her, her face sour. "You're gonna want to sit down for this."

I'm suddenly reminded of our younger years, when we'd sit on her bed in our parents house and I'd let her paint my toenails while I yammered on and on about how devastated I was over Tweek loving someone else. "Should I grab Jenny's nail polish?" I joke but Ruby's eyes light up and ten minutes later, we end up on the floor, my little sister now armed with blue nail polish.

"Sheesh Craig," she mutters, taking my foot into her hand as she dabs some paint on the nail, "Your feet are so fucking gross now, it's like I've taught you nothing."

"Weren't you going to tell me something?" I spit back, eyes narrowing.

"Oh. Right. So I thought it'd be obvious but you're stupid so I guess it doesn't really _stun_ me that you haven't caught on yet but Billy totally has the hots for Todd."

I blink, replaying all of their interactions over in my head, again and again and again until it finally sinks in. "Oh," I say dumbly, feeling like an idiot for not picking up on it sooner. "Well that explains a lot."

"Mhm, so now that I've told you something..." Uh oh. What the hell does she want to know? "Maybe you can fill me in on what happened with Tweek last night?"

'SHE KNOWS!' the more paranoid side of my brain shrieks. I stare at her blankly, trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I'm screaming like a banshee and she stops mid polish to stare back, waiting to hear what I have to say.

"Um- Wha-..Ahem, what about Tweek?" I want to strangle myself for sounding so obviously guilty, Ruby setting down the polish and eying me curiously.

"Jenny told me you were with him all night. You guys friends again?"

"Yeah, uh huh, that's what we are." Chill the fuck out self, you're gonna give yourself away.

"…..You okay…?"

I suck in a deep breath, avoiding her gaze. There's a small part of me that wants to tell her everything. How I'm more than okay, I feel like flying now that I know he likes me the same way I like him. I want to tell her about our kiss and how we couldn't keep our lips away from each other, how he held my hand and told me he wanted to be with me. Ruby's been my confidant for so long, it feels weird to keep anything Tweek-related from her. I want her advice on how to approach Jenny, her opinion on the whole situation. But I can't.

Jenny needs to be the first to know.

"Yeah. I'm okay," I force a smile, feeling bad for keeping this from her.

Ruby sighs and she pats my knee comfortingly, sounding sad when she says, "You're not, but I'm not gonna pry. Just remember I'm always in your corner, big brother."

And she resumes painting my nails.

XXXX

There are maybe three times in my life where I felt so anxious I could vomit.

Number one is when I was driving through South Park searching for Todd.

Number two is when I was getting ready for Tweek and Red's wedding.

Number three is now, sitting at the dinner table with my family and waiting for it to be over, for it to be nighttime again and for the kids to be in bed so I can have The Talk with Jenny.

The day passed quickly after Ruby and Karen left, a squirming small child in my sister's arms. Between then and now I'd been busy painting Todd's nails- He saw my toes and decided he wanted his nails done too- and trying to ignore the fact that my son's probably in little kid love with Kenny's kid to worry too much about my talk with Jen, but now that it's so close it feels like every nerve in my body is a live wire.

"Hey mama, guess who won the race at the grocery store yesterday?" Todd queries.

Jenny doesn't even spare him a glance. "Who?"

"I did!"

"Ohhh," she replies, feigning interest.

I shoot her a look, "Don't just 'oh' him, Jenny!" and I'm immediately horror-struck by how much I sound like my mother.

"Sorry, I'm a bit out of it right now," she mumbles, "That's wonderful, baby, I'm so proud of you."

Her tone is unconvincing and monotone but Todd's face still brightens up like he's the luckiest kid in the world.

"You gonna show up to his baseball game, then?" Trish speaks up, moving her food around on her plate with her fork.

"Patricia, stop playing with your food."

"So I'll take that as no."

"Watch how you talk to me, young lady," Jenny warns, her voice sharp. Her eyes are trained on Trish now, an annoyed look on her face as our daughter scowls at her.

"I didn't even get smart with you," Trish defends herself, forgetting about her food to look Jenny in the eye, "But you know, I think it's pretty shitty that you never go to your own son's events."

"Trish, stop. It's okay," Todd says under his breath, giving her a look that practically says ' _pleasedontpissmomoffpleasedontpissmomoff'._

"No, no, it's not okay, you look for her in the stands at every game and she's never there."

"That's because I have a _job_ , Patricia."

"So that means you can't make time for your kids?!"

"Alright, alright," I hurriedly intervene when I see that Jenny's on the brink of exploding, "Trish, don't talk to your mother that way. She works really hard, she can't help it if she misses a few of your brothers games."

"She misses all of them!"

"Well, that's not her fault!" Except it sort of is. I know that. Trish knows that. Hell, even Jenny knows that. "I know you want to protect Todd's honor but you've gotta treat your mom with respect."

My heart cracks in two when I see the look in Trish's eyes as she gawks at me in disbelief. _Traitor,_ it says and I quickly avert my eyes, ignoring the sound of two chairs scraping the wood floor as they're pulled out from the table and the footsteps of my kids retreating to their rooms.

Jenny sets a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. "Thank you." Her voice sounds quiet and lovely like it did in our teenage years, before she traded it in for something more authoritative and loud.

We're alone now, I realize.

Trish is probably upstairs listening to music and thinking about how much Jenny and I suck and Todd's more than likely playing video games online with his friends, trying to forget what just happened at the dinner table.

It's now or never.

"Jenny," I start, "What do you think of our relationship?"

"What about it?" Her hand has moved to my back, rubbing small circles into it as she scoots her chair closer so she doesn't have to lean so far over the table.

"I feel like we've been….distant," I admit, keeping my eyes fixed on the plate in front of me.

She's silent for a while.

"What do you mean…?" She asks carefully, her hand freezing in place on my shoulder blade.

I suck in a deep breath.

"I don't think we're in love anymore- This- I- Jenny, maybe we shouldn't be together anymore."

"What?"

"You're never around," I blurt out, "I think we fell out of love a long time ago or maybe we never were, I don't know but- Fuck it, Jenny, I've always been honest with you. I can't lie now. There's-" I finally turn to look her in the eye. She's as composed as ever, which makes it a little easier to tell her the truth, "There's someone else."

Jenny blinks. She blinks a few times actually, letting this information sink in. I wait for it to click, wait for her to rage or cry but neither happens. Instead she sighs, setting her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her hand. "Really Craig? You want to leave just because you're probably having some midlife crisis and want to bang some younger chick? That's so cliché."

My jaw drops when she says this. "Wha- It's not a younger chick. And I'm not having a midlife crisis!"

"Yeah, alright," Jenny laughs- _actually fucking laughs_ \- waving her hand around dismissively. "Whoever it is- I don't want to know- she's not worth a divorce, okay?"

"It's not just because of them, Jenny," I argue, still a little thrown off by her chill reaction, "I just don't think it's working anymore."

Her face gets serious when I say this, the smile wiped clean off her face.

"And look I- God, I made out with this other person already, okay? You should.. You should want this too."

Jenny's eyes widen a little bit at this, surprised by this revelation.

She relaxes in almost record time though and then says something that I definitely hadn't been expecting. "Craig, it's fine. I, uh- I cheated on you too, okay? A long time ago. Just don't do it again and we can call it even, alright?"

"You what?"

"…..I cheated on you."

"When?"

She suddenly looks guilty, her forehead creasing with worry as she answers me, her voice shaky, "Around the time you were moping around a lot- Uh- Oh, um, it was around when Red and Tweek got married."

"Are you serious?"

"Don't be mad," she snaps, "You did it too!"

"Damn it, Jen," I groan, burying my face in my hands. "This is exactly why we should call it quits!"

"No!" I jump a bit at the urgency in her tone, "Craig, no. People make mistakes, okay?"

"Why are you fighting this? Jenny, we both _cheated_ on each other. And yeah, okay, in a way that's sort of amusing to me, but what does that say about our marriage? Something's wrong here."

"So we can fix it. If something's broken, you fix it. That's what my parents always said."

"I literally just said I'm sort of amused at the idea of us cheating on each other. That itself should be proof I'm not in love with you, there's nothing here to fix."

"People fall in and out of love all the time," Jenny responds, determination in her voice.

I rub my temples in frustration. Suddenly Jenny screaming at me about how I'm a dirty cheater seems preferable to a chill Jenny that's deadset and saving our marriage. "I'm sorry, Jenny," is all I can say and for a minute there, I think that she's given up on fighting the end of us because she keeps quiet. Upstairs I can hear the distant sounds of an online shooting game and faint pop music, my kids blissfully unaware of what's taking place beneath them.

"Craig," Jenny whispers, "Listen to me. This isn't what you want. I know I'm not around much but-" A pause. "I love those two. I _will_ fight you for them and you know how the court always favors the mothers."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No," she promises, sounding hurt of being accused of such a thing, "I'm bargaining, I guess. At least try and fix our marriage- and I'll try too, we can go to marriage counseling together and, and I'll make more time for the kids...and if after all of that, we still can't make it work then...Then I'll be more reasonable about this. But we have to at least try, Craig."

This of all things is not where I expected the conversation to go. I finally look at her again and our gazes lock, a feeling of mutual understanding settling within us.

"Okay," I agree, feeling defeated, "I'll try."

XXX

The parking lot for the baseball field is just as I remember it. When I make my way to the bleachers with Trish and Todd, I make sure to steer them away from the dicks Jimmy, Clyde and I had drawn into the pavement when the concrete was still drying. It's kind of funny and sad- When the drawings first catch my eye, my first thought is to wonder what asshole kid thought that'd be a good way to pass time. And then I remember: Oh. Right. Me. I was the asshole kid.

"Hey Craig!" Kenny McCormick yells when he sees me, cupping his hands around his mouth like a megaphone. He's sitting on the bleachers next to Stan, who looks mopier than he did back in fourth grade when Wendy dumped him for Token.

I nod in acknowledgment, turning around to fix Todd's clothes before I send him on his merry way but apparently Kenny took that as an invitation to touch me because as I'm smoothing down the front of my boy's shirt, I feel an unwelcome hand rest on my shoulder, whirling me around to face the culprit.

"Dude," Kenny grins, ignoring the annoyed look on my face, "I didn't know Todd played baseball! My kid does too." He jerks his chin in the direction Billy must be in and when I turn around to confirm this, I see that Todd's already making his way toward him, having used Kenny's arrival as a distraction to make his escape.

This is the second time something like this has happened and I frown remembering how just a couple of days ago Todd needed me to walk him all the way to his classroom. "Hey Tucker," a raspy but feminine voice sounds behind me, interrupting my thoughts. I turn, a small grin tugging at my face when I see that it's Nelly, her arm wrapped around Wyatt's waist, Kyle close behind her carrying some sort of messenger bag. Another boy is with them, this one maybe a little older than Trish and he could pass for an older version of his little brother except his eyes are green like Kyle's.

"Hey Nelly," I greet as she gets closer, stopping right in front of me.

"Thanks for bringing Wyatt home the other day," She smiles warmly and I see that she has faint laugh lines forming, "You're a real pal." She socks me in the arm when she says this and I flinch, rubbing the spot where she hit.

"You hit hard as ever," I say fondly, liking that she seems to be the same old Nelly that used to arm wrestle me at lunch.

"Seriously?" Nelly cocks an eyebrow in disbelief, "Nice! I haven't been to the gym in years."

"Seriously?" This time it's my eyebrows that raise. Nelly loved boxing even more than Tweek did. And Tweek _loved_ boxing. Or at least he did when we were younger. She nods, grimacing. "How many years?!"

She blinks and then turns to her older boy, whacking his shoulder gently to get his attention. "How old are you?"

"Ha ha ha mom, how humorous," Her boy rolls his eyes, a faint smile on his face.

"Mom," Wyatt suddenly pipes up, surprising me since I figured he'd pull a Todd and run off to join his friends. Nelly looks down at him questioningly and he avoids her gaze, shuffling his feet anxiously. "What if I don't make the team?"

Nelly scoffs, exchanging a look with Kyle who looks slightly offended Wyatt didn't voice his concerns to him. "You guys go on ahead," she says to her husband and oldest child, nodding her head toward Stan, "I've got this."

"Alright," Kyle plants a kiss on Nelly's cheek, patting Wyatt on the back as he leaves. "Good luck son."

When they're out of earshot, Nelly kneels down a bit, making eye contact with her boy, a smirk on her face. "Don't even worry about that, okay kiddo? Everyone knows you're the best baseball player in your grade, they won't win one single game without you. You'll make the team for sure."

Wyatt releases a breath of relief, his mouth forming into a timid smile as he nods. "Thanks mom."

"Anytime, bud."

She ruffles his hair and he's off.

I watch him run toward Billy, Conner and Todd, my eyebrows pinching together when I see the look of longing on my son's face. He's definitely thinking about his own mother and how she's never seen him play, much less give him a pep talk.

"So is that true?" I ask Nelly as we climb the bleachers to distract myself from my growing resentment of Jenny, "That he's the best?"

"Oh no way, dude. He sucks."

Trish stifles a laugh beside me.

"I'd never tell him that, though," Nelly continues, moving around Kenny and Stan to sit next to her husband. Kyle puts his arm around her, pulling her closer and she rests her head on his shoulder, setting a hand on his knee.

Kenny, who had come back up to sit with Stan while Nelly and I were reuniting, pats the spot next to him eagerly and I take it, deciding that maybe it's best I get used to Kenny's company since I'll no doubt be seeing a lot of him now that our kids are...close.

Trish ditches me, sitting next to Nelly's son a few rows ahead of us. I feel betrayed that she's left me alone, because okay yeah I want to get along with them now for the sake of our children but I figured I could at least get baby-stepped into it. That maybe Trish would be right next to me, offering silent moral support and maybe even providing an opportunity for escape if things got weird. She used to do that before we moved here; If someone was being extra annoying, Trish claimed to have diarrhea and I'd be home free.

"Trish!" I whisper yell, clutching onto the bench with my hands to steady myself as I stretch one of my legs out to nudge her back. She whips her head around, eyebrows pinched together and a scowl on her face. My shoulders pulled up into a shrug as I held my arms out palms up, as if saying _'dude what the hell'_. Her forehead puckered as if she didn't know how to explain herself and she settled for flipping me the bird, which I instantly returned, my facial features still contorted in outraged disbelief.

Kenny howls with laughter beside me as Trish turns her attention back to Wyatt, and I just barely hold back a witty comment about hillbillies as he slaps his knee. "Dude," he manages between laughs, wiping at his eyes, "I just had a fucking flashback of you and your mom, Jesus fuck."

Goddammit, I really am turning into my mother. First with Todd, now Trish. I shook my head, desperately trying to rid myself of the image my brain had come up with of me standing with my hands on my hips, hair dyed blonde and a green dress on.

"Where's your wife?" I ask dully, willing myself to calm the fuck down. I have a reputation to uphold: Chill Craig Tucker who couldn't care less about what went on in the world around him. Sure, I was eternally internally screaming like a banshee but no one else had to know about that.

Definitely not Kenny McCormick.

"Tammy took the other kids to see her parents. The little ones get bored whenever we drag them to Billy's games," Kenny informs me. I nod and we're silent for a while, my eyes on Todd who's currently watching Conner Marsh arm wrestle another boy, when Kenny elbows me. I snap my head around to glare at him, irritation flooding through me when I see the mischievous smirk on his face. "Your muse is here."

I cock my head, suddenly not irritated at all. Jenny? She came? Shit, Todd's gonna be so happy.

I follow Kenny's gaze to the entrance and my heart skips a beat when I see who it is.

Tweek plods toward the bleachers, one hand gripping Molly's and the other clasped around who I guess to be Blue.

I'd forgotten I'd invited him.

"So!" I exclaim, tearing my eyes away from Tweek to force a grin at Kenny, "You know what would be cool? If we did Close Up Animals again, but with our kids."

Kenny looks a little weirded out by my sudden mood swing, but he goes along with it, sounding genuine when he says, "That'd be really cool. My daughter Patty would love it so much, man, she's like, addicted to cameras."

"Molly!" Trish shouts, just now spotting her best friend.

Molly cries out to Trish and I can hear her clambering up the stairs to join my daughter. More footsteps follow and I grit my teeth in panic. Shit, shit, shit, I really don't want to have this conversation with Tweek.

"Oh really?! That's sounds cute, tell me more about that. Actually, tell me about all your kids, it seems like an interesting-" I jump when I feel someone poke my shoulder, slowly turning around to see Tweek now sitting right next to me.

A slow, sexy smile forms on his face, his eyes going soft when they're presented with my face. "Hey," he greets, his voice smoky and low.

I take in his appearance; Hair wild as always, heavy bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, a beige sweater pulled on over a green flannel he probably didn't button correctly. _Gorgeous_ , is all I can think, my agreement with Jenny the farthest thing from my mind. "Hey yourself," I reply huskily, bumping our shoulders together as I scoot a bit closer.

"Oh man, the cheating husbands club is here."

I slide away from Tweek so fast I ram into Kenny's side, pushing him into Stan as he lets out an 'oomph!'

 _They can't know already,_ I think, _how the fuck did they find out?_

"Man, quit calling Tripply and Dogpoo that. That's not even a good name," Stan defends, making Kenny grunt in disapproval.

"Okay, first of all, I know it's not a good name but it's all I could think of, so shut it. Second, why are you sticking up for them? They boned each other behinds their wives backs."

"They're in love."

"I know, but still."

"Um," I speak up, curious to know more about this, "What are you guys talking?"

"Okay so get this," Kenny starts, sounding like he'd been waiting forever for the opportunity to talk about this, "Tripply was married to Emily and Dogpoo was with Beth. They all seemed well and good, you know, like they had _kids_ and stuff and you remember how mushy and gross Tripply and Emily were in high school?"

"Yeah, they made out in front of my locker once and made me late to class."

"Yeah! I never would have guessed Tripply didn't swing that way, he sure fucking seemed to. Anyway, so I guess Dogpoo and Tripply started hanging out more, like when they were kids, and at first their wives were like 'That's cool, I'm not gonna keep him from his best friend.' But then Emily sees a hickey on Tripply's neck and Beth notices some scratch marks on Dogpoo's back, like if some had been clawing at it."

"Not just that," Stan chimes in, eyes narrowing at Kenny as he leans forward, "But they were both really smiley and happy all of a sudden. Beth said Dogpoo would space out with this dreamy look on his face sometimes."

"ANYWAY! So they got suspicious, right? Emily decides to set up a hidden camera in their bedroom and tries to convince Beth to do the same. At this point, they're both pretty certain that their husbands are screwing other girls, not each other. Nasty surprise when Emily watched the video footage and saw her husband getting plowed by his 'best friend'," Kenny makes quotation marks with his fingers at the last two words, making Stan roll his eyes.

"They are best friends, dude. They just so happen to also be in love."

"Okay, seriously Stan, what the hell? Why are you trying to sympathize with them? Is there something you want to tell me about Kyle?"

"No dude! I just feel bad, I mean, Tripply lost custody of his kid in the divorce and Dogpoo only sees his every other weekend. That's gotta suck."

"They should have thought about that."

"They probably did. Maybe that's why they snuck around in the first place. Maybe they just knew that would happen."

This is hitting way too close to home for me. "I'll be right back," I excuse myself, getting up and practically racing down the bleachers. I make it out to the parking lot, hunching over and setting my hands on my knees as I try to steady my breathing.

Tripply lost custody.

Dogpoo barely sees his.

Fuck, if I don't behave and stick to my promise to Jenny, that could be me.

"Craig!" Tweek's voice keeps me from beating myself up further, his loafers stopping only inches away from my work boots. "Are you okay?! What's wrong?! Is it what they said?!" He's panting while he says all this and I realize he must have run after me.

"I just had to get away for a sec," I lie, keeping my eyes focused on the ground. If I look at him, I'll get lost in him again. I can't afford that. I can't end up like Tripply and Dogpoo. "Go back, I'll be right there."

"Craig, come on….Tell the truth….You can talk to me."

"Jenny said she'd fight me for custody," I choke out, balling my hands into fists at my sides, "Tweek, she'd win."

"Hey…." His voice is gentle now, small and soft, "Hey...you don't know that for sure." He wraps his arms around me and I sigh, shifting a bit to bury my face in the crook of his neck because God, he feels so warm and comforting but- No.

I push him away gently, shaking my head. "We can't do that. Jenny made me promise that I would try to um. Fix our marriage."

Tweek's eyes go wide, his lips setting into a grim line. He hesitates, before asking, "Is that what you want, Craig?"

No, I want to tell him, I want you. I've always wanted you. I'm only doing this for my kids.

I don't get a chance to say that, though.

"Hey Cuh-Craig, Tweek, nice muh-meeting you fellas here," Jimmy stated as he approached us.

We both turn toward him and I wonder if he notices how hard I'm trying to keep my hands off of Tweek or how crushed Tweek looks as he fidgets, waiting for my answer that won't come now that we've been interrupted.

"You guys luh-left so early Friday, I didn't get a chance to tuh-tah-talk to you guys about being in my wedding."

He doesn't notice.

"Sorry man, I had to go look for my kid," I tell him, "What about your wedding?"

"I was gonna ask you and Tweek here to be some of my guh-groomsmen. Clyde and Token are the other two, so I thought it'd cuh-cool to have eveyone, 'specially with you buh-being back and all, Craig."

"Sounds cool," I affirm, "Wanna tell me more about it inside?" I jerk my head toward to entrance, "Todd'll get upset if he sees I'm gone."

Jimmy voices his consent to this and yammers on about his wedding plans as the three of us head back together, Tweek with his head hanging low and me, hating myself. When we sit back down, I mouth to him, _'Are we still friends?'_

It's selfish to ask. I of all people should know that, but I ask anyway.

Tweek smiles weakly at me, nodding and nudging my shoulder with his.

On Jimmy's other side, Kenny cracks another joke about Tweek being 'my muse'.

Since we're just friends again, I ask him quietly, "Do you know where that joke came from? I never called you that, did I?" I'd only ever called Jenny that, when we were young, but he doesn't need to know that part.

Something flashes in his eyes and they seem to crinkle in frustration, but he's still smiling.

"I don't remember."

...

Craig is thirteen and so is he and they're getting ragged on by Cartman and Kenny in Tweek's parents coffee shop. He's on break and would usually be spending this time reading over Craig's song lyrics quietly, Craig himself tapping his foot erratically while waiting for Tweek's feedback, which was always the same: _I love it!_

Today is different.

Craig is sitting at their usual booth in the far back, but today Cartman and Kenny are sitting across from him, the former sneering while the second leans forward on his elbows, chin in palms like he's dishing some hot gossip. For all Tweek knows, that's exactly what he's doing.

He slides in next to Craig wordlessly, smoothing down the front of his smock as he settles in, and apparently he sits just a little too close to his best friend because the pair in front of them share an incredulous look before snickering, Cartman slamming his fist down on the table like this is too much to handle.

"Dude, what?" Craig spats out, annoyed.

"Oh nothin' Craig," Cartman cackles, "So uh, how long have you been swapping spit with Tweek the Freak over here?"

"What!?" Tweek cries, twitching as he does so, something he's rarely done since elementary.

"Don't fucking call him that," Craig nearly snarls, placing a hand on Tweek's back and rubbing softly, knowing that doing that usual calms him down.

It works and Tweek holds back a sigh of bliss, fearing that releasing it would confirm Cartman's accusations. Not that he's got anything against it- He'd actually really like it if Cartman was right. But that's never going to happen because Craig's proven to Tweek time and time again that he's straight. It stings a little, but Tweek will live. Best friend status is almost just as high as boyfriend status anyway, and he'll do everything in his power to keep his place. He'd surely lose it if Craig knew that Tweek secretly longed for more.

"Yeah Cartman," Kenny cheesed, his voice taking on a teasing tone that makes Tweek uneasy, "Don't call his boyfriend names, it's rude."

"He's not my boyfriend," Craig deadpans, making Tweek's heart sink just a little bit.

"Oh? What is he then? And don't say best friend, because Kenny's my best friend and I'm not all over him like you homos are."

"Not in public at least."

"Yeah, not in- I hate you, Kenny," Cartman pouts as Kenny laughs.

Tweek expects Craig to just ignore the question or maybe flip Cartman off for asking but Craig hums in thought for a while, getting a mischievous glint in his eye that makes Tweek's face heat up.

"He's not my boyfriend," Craig repeats, stabbing Tweek's heart once again. He patches it up swiftly though, putting his arm around his best friend and pulling him close, resting his cheek against Tweek's head. "He's my muse."

Cartman and Kenny both grip the table, looking at each other as they each keep their mouths clamped shut to hold back their laughter. Kenny salutes them as he and Cartman slide out of the booth, both of them releasing rambunctious laughter as they stumble out of the store, the bell ringing to announce their departure.

Craig chuckles softly to himself, amused at his own words and the sounds makes Tweek's stomach do backflips. He clears his throat awkwardly, trying not to read into the fact that Craig's arm is still around him even though Kenny and Cartman were long gone, "You know, you're never gonna hear the end of that."

"They're both stupid, they'll forget about it in like a week," Craig shrugs, pulling his arm off Tweek who's trying not to look too upset about it.

"Who said I was talking about them? Maybe I meant me. Maybe I'm the one that's never going to let this go," Tweek challenges as Craig rummages through the bookbag he brought with him to the store, finally fishing out the notebook he keeps all his songs in.

"Pft, whatever. You'll probably forget in like a week too."

"Yeah," Tweek agrees as Craig turns his notebook to the page containing his latest hit, setting it in front of him, "Yeah, you're probably right."

Tweek never forgot.


	5. Chapter 5

**Tweek**

"Come on you guys, it's a dance. We're supposed-" Jason shimmies his hips, "-to _dance_."

It's the last school dance of their fourth grade year and Tweek isn't in Craig's friend group yet. Sure, they talk sometimes and occasionally work on projects together but their relationship doesn't go much farther than that. Right now, Tweek's friend group consists of Jason, Francis, Dogpoo and Tripply and Craig is barely even a thought in his mind.

It's funny how one conversation can change your view on someone.

"Why is Mr. Garrison talking to us?" Francis asks the three boys sitting in the chairs next to him, Dogpoo snickering while Tripply rolls his eyes.

Jason kicks him. "Stop calling me that, assface!"

Francis hisses in pain, his facial features contorting in irritation but just as he's about to go off on Jason, his face suddenly softens, reddening as he grins nervously at the person that had suddenly appeared behind his friend.

Tripply and Dogpoo share a knowing look when Nelly pushes Jason aside so she can stand in front of Francis, her hands shoved into her jean pockets. "Hey Fran, you wanna dan-"

"Yes!" He cuts her off eagerly, jumping up from his seat.

Jason shakes his head, tsking as Nelly and Francis make their way to the dance floor, their hands clasped together. "Amazing. I've been trying to get that loser to dance for the past half hour and Nelly doesn't even have to finish her sentence."

"Yeah, but that's because he _looooooves_ her," Tripply smirks, holding up his hands and shaping them into a heart.

"Well what the fuck, does he not _loooooove_ me?"

"Evidently, not like he does her. Now excuse us, Jason, but our jam is on," Tripply snaps his fingers as if to punctuate his sentence and when he walks off, Dogpoo is close behind, snapping in Jason's face as they pass, his eyebrows waggling wildly.

Older Tweek would thump himself on the forehead for not seeing the true nature of their relationship before because it's more than obvious, even in the fourth grade when they're singing along horribly to _No Scrubs_ and all up in each others faces, their fists held high over their heads like this is the most passionate song they've ever sung.

Jason plops down on the chair next to Tweek, throwing his head back and groaning. "I hate our friend group so much. Y'all won't dance to _Achy Breaky Heart_ with me, but as soon as your boo thang asks- Tweek, dude, you've gotta quit shakin'."

"I can't! _JesusChristthere'stoomanypeoplehere_!" Tweek squeaks, tapping his feet against the floor wildly as his hands rotate between tugging at his hair and rubbing his chest.

"Well, duh dude. It's a dance. Come on, man. Chill out, you're supposed to be having a good time."

" _Gah_ \- But it feels like everyone's staring at me!"

"They're not, they're busy dancing. Which is what you should be doing too. Come on, let's go have fun."

" _But Jason!_ What if- Okay, dude, look. _What if_ I step on somebody's foot while we're dancing and they fucking _kill me_? Or- Or! What if when we go out there, _they pour pig's blood on me_! Like in that movie!"

Jason sighs. "I knew we shouldn't have let ya watch _Carrie_."

"WHAT IF A GIRL MAKES ME DANCE WITH HER AND KISSES ME AND GIVES ME MONO!? It happened to Tripply before!"

"That was fucking hilarious."

"Or- _holy shit_ ," Tweek gasps, his eyes seemingly bulging out of their sockets as his eyebrows shoot upwards, " _What if it's all a trap?_ "

" _What_."

"The government, man!" Tweek lowers his voice to a whisper, his eyes darting around the room, checking for any suspicious figures that might just be eavesdropping on his conversation with Jason. "What if this is all part of their plan to brainwash us and make us conform into mindless drones? First they get all of us to dance together, and while we're all busy shaking our tailfeathers, some double crosser who's working for them- probably Pip, that shifty eyed fuck- poisons the punch with some kind of mind altering liquid and next thing you know, _BAM!_ We all drink it and next thing you know, we're naked and jacking it in San Diego, just like Stan!"

Jason stares at Tweek.

For a long time.

"Also, I have reason to believe that all of the adults here are just guinea pigs piloting robotic look-alikes of our teachers which makes everything I just said before that much more plausible."

"…..Yeah, I can't do this tonight."

Usually Jason would have pointed out that you only end up naked and jacking it in San Diego after getting too stressed out over a campaign and that the teachers definitely aren't guinea pig robots because Kenny threw water on Mackey earlier and he didn't malfunction like a robot would have, but today he won't. He hasn't told Tweek or any of their other friends yet, but he's moving away from South Park over the summer and he just wants to have one last really good time with them before he's gone for good and that's not going to happen if he has to babysit all night.

Before Craig, Jason had been Tweek's best friend. Maybe not in the same way, but he came over and listened to Tweek's paranoid ramblings every day after school and even if he did roast Tweek for being such a "weirdo", he decked anyone else that had the nerve to mess with his best friend because "that's just what best friends do."

Jason won't say it out loud, but he's a little worried about what Tweek will do without him. He doesn't want him to be lonely, to get stuck as Dogpoo and Tripply's third wheel when Francis inevitably ditches them to fully devote himself to Nelly.

Lucky for him, he solves his own problem without even realizing it.

"Hey Tucker!" Jason jumps up from his seat when he spots Craig passing by, grabbing onto his arm and dragging him back over to Tweek. "Keep an eye on him for me, will ya?"

To Tweek's surprise, Craig lets out a huge sigh of relief, the usually apathetic boy being a little too eager about the task that's suddenly been thrown at him. "Oh thank God," he blurts out before noticing the confused looks on Jason and Tweek's faces. Craig clears his throat, regaining his cool demeanor. "I mean, uh, sure, whatever. But you've gotta go take my place on Clyde's team for the dance battle."

"Deal! See ya in twenty minutes, Tweek." Jason salutes them before taking off and disappearing into the crowd, leaving Craig and Tweek alone- or as alone as you can be at a school dance.

"…...You're not a guinea pig robot are you….?" Tweek mumbles shyly, poking his fingers together as Craig sits next to him. Excellent conversation starter little me, Older Tweek would say to himself.

"Huh?"

"That's exactly how a guinea pig robot would respond," Tweek whispers, his eyebrows furrowing together.

Craig blinks, an eyebrow raised like he's not quite sure what the fuck is happening right now but after about a second, he clicks his tongue and smacks a hand against his forehead, slouching in his seat. " _Fuck_ ," he spits out, sounding absolutely devastated, "You've got me. Shit dude, now all the plans are totally wrecked."

" _Whatplans?!"_ Tweek nearly screeches, wrapping his arms around himself, as if it'll protect him from whatever guinea pig robot Craig might try to do.

Craig clicks his tongue, staring down at his dirty red converse as he chews on his lower lip, looking like he's debating whether or not he should reveal his species secrets to Tweek when he finally lets out a heavy sigh. "Okay, I'm gonna tell you," he decides, turning his head to look his paranoid companion in the eye. "But you've gotta promise me that this stays between us."

"I promise!" Tweek cries, flailing slightly in his excitement. "Wait, no," he gasps, suddenly thinking of something even better, something that will show Craig just how grown up and serious he is about this promise. "I _pinky_ promise!"

Craig's jaw drops dramatically when Tweek holds his pinky out and he fans himself, pretending to be embarrassed. Reluctantly, he crooks his own pinky around Tweek's, looking scandalized the whole time. "You know..." he starts, "….where I come from, this is a form of kissing."

Looking back at this always makes Older Tweek laugh. Craig always did like fucking with people when they were younger.

Little Tweek isn't so amused, ripping his pinky away from Craig's with such a loud and distressed screech it would make banshees jealous. " _What_?!" he screams, tugging at his hair.

Unable to keep up the game any longer, Craig bursts out laughing, something Tweek had only seen a few times before. "Man, you're gullible. Too funny man," the little asshole giggles before noticing what Tweek's doing to his hair. "Doesn't that hurt you?" he asks, his face serious and slightly concerned now.

"Huh?"

"Your hair. Doesn't it hurt when you pull it?"

"Oh." No one had ever asked him that before. "Uh, it did at first. I'm- usedtoitnowthough."

"Oh shit, that's sad," Craig murmurs, his eyebrows knitting together. "Well hey. Uh. Don't do that."

"Gee, thanks, I'm cured," Tweek deadpans, feeling a little proud of himself for snapping back so quickly.

"Okay, yeah, sorry. That was dumb," Craig admits, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "But seriously, isn't there something else you can do to relieve stress? I mean, you're gonna run out of hair sometime."

"Am I?" Tweek tugs at his hair again gently to emphasize his point.

Craig's quiet for a bit and for a second Tweek thinks maybe he'll drop it just like his friends do but then he speaks up again, "Okay, you've got a lot of hair, I'll give you that. But still, if you keep ripping it out of your scalp, it's not gonna be as glorious."

Tweek lets out a small laugh, quirking an eyebrow. "You think my hair's glorious?"

"Well yeah, there's a lot of it and it looks like it's soft. It looked really good when you slicked it down during our metro-sexual phase."

"Really? You think so?"

"Man, why'd you have to ask that so softly?" Craig was blushing now; It was hard to tell in the dimly lit gymnasium, but Tweek could still see it. It was actually kind of cute, how flustered Craig 'Monotone Asshole' Tucker looked right now, his eyes looking anywhere but at Tweek. "Yeah, I do think so. No homo. Geez, don't-" He quickly looks around to check if anyone's within earshot before turning back to Tweek, "Don't tell anybody I said that, they'll think I'm _funny_."

"Too late, I'm telling everybody." That was a lie, Tweek actually forgot all about Craig saying that until they were older. He'd only remembered it because Craig was gone and he just- Needed to remember the good times and that had been one of the first things to pop up.

Craig's eyes narrow and he pushes Tweek's shoulder. "I'm serious, _don't_."

"Don't fucking push me, man," Tweek shot back, returning the shove.

"Whatever, we're off topic anyway," Craig grumbled, apparently dropping the subject of Tweek keeping the compliment a secret. "You ever think about lowering your caffeine intake?"

" _Godno_!" Tweek cries out, yanking on his hair once again. "What if I go through withdrawal, man!? _What if I gotta go to the hospital for it and_ \- !?" He freezes mid sentence, his mouth falling open as Craig gently removes his hands from his hair and holds them down. _Germs, germs, germs, he barely knows Craig! What if he has cooties?! Like, ACTUAL cooties?!_ He stares at Craig, eyes wide with shock and fear. No one had ever done _that_ before. Sometimes Jason or Francis smacked his shoulder to get him to stop or Tripply would list off reasons why Tweek shouldn't do that to scare him into temporarily stopping but they'd never _grabbed_ him.

 _Craig's hands are really warm and soft…_

"You're blushing," Craig deadpans, letting him go and moving his chair a bit so he's closer to Tweek.

Tweek gulps, looking down at the ground and trying not to think about how close Craig suddenly is and how bummed he is that they aren't holding hands anymore.

It's quiet between them for a bit when Craig suddenly clears his throat and stands. For a split second, Tweek thinks that maybe Craig 'Mr. Popular' Tucker has had enough with the resident weirdo for one night, but then Craig's hand is holding his again and he feels so happy and grateful that he doesn't even realize that Craig's led him onto the dance floor until they're already in the middle of it.

Once it hits him, he grabs for Craig's other hand, clinging to the punk ass little shit that got him into this situation in the first place like he's some sort of savior. To his surprise, Craig spins around and, instead of ripping his hands away like Tweek thought he might, starts _dancing_ with him.

Craig never talked Tweek into things, Older Tweek would later reminisce. He just grabbed Tweek's hand and jumped straight into them, which should have made the poor antsy guy flip his shit but Tweek actually appreciated it in a way. Craig didn't give him time to overthink things and no matter what it was that he was pushing Tweek into, he was always right there with him, holding his hand.

Unfortunately, Older Tweek can't remember the rest of that night- At least not in detail. He knows that they danced together all night and that Craig squeezed his hand one last time before they parted ways, but it's all a big blur.

He's glad to remember some of it though. Maybe it hadn't been his first time meeting Craig or anything like that, but it was the night that he'd decided that maybe there was more to Craig Tucker than just being a stoic, trouble making, cool kid that flipped the bird all the time.

It was the first night he got to see concerned Craig Tucker, _flustered_ Craig Tucker. In a way, it was the first night that they were _Craig and Tweek_ , sort of like their origin story. And, okay, this part is embarrassing, but it was the first night Tweek lay awake at night thinking about how nice Tweek Tucker sounded (He was in fourth grade, okay?)

Tweek really liked Craig.

And over time, as they got closer, he started to love Craig.

He loved Craig so much, he made the choice to move on from him.

...

 _'Stupid, stupid, stupid!'_ Tweek thinks to himself in the present. He'd smack his hand against his head but Craig is here and so are Molly and Blue and he doesn't want to embarrass them.

 _'I should have just told him! Why do I always have to assume shit?!'_

This is all Tweek's fault.

He should have never dated Red Tucker, should have told her the truth. _"I'm sorry Red, but I can't date you because I'm too busy daydreaming about how cute your cousin would look at our wedding. We can still be friends though."_

Alright, maybe that would have been too much.

Well, actually, in hindsight, maybe dating Red all throughout high school and marrying her when really Tweek had no romantic interest in her was too much.

He'd tried to like Red romantically, he really had. He'd even asked his friends for advice on how to be a good boyfriend- Aw fuck, he asked Craig for relationship advice. _'Awful person, you're an awful person! You probably made him feel like shit!'_

"You're shaking," Craig whispers to him, setting a hand on Tweek's shoulder. It feels so nice to have Craig touch him that he almost forgets that it's his fault they aren't together. Almost.

"Sorry, just a little bit on edge," Tweek mumbles, rubbing his hands together. Craig hums in response, moving his hand to rub circles into Tweek's back, just like he used to when they were younger, like he never stopped. For a split second, it surprises Tweek that Craig would do this in public but the more rational part of himself chides him, reminding him that everyone that knows them already knew they could be touchy and didn't so much as bat an eye in their direction.

"So," Craig says, nodding his head in Blue's direction, "That's your boy?"

 _'Undeniably so'_ , Tweek thinks but he doesn't trust his voice enough to say this out loud, nodding instead.

Blue Tweak was everything Tweek had been as a child but somehow worse. It was like he _wanted_ to be scared, purposely watching shows that would do so whereas Tweek was quick to change the channel after seeing something he didn't like. His internet history showed that Blue constantly watched conspiracy videos and Red had once told him that the little guy even took _notes_ on them. _Notes._ "They're really thorough too," Red had laughed, amused by the whole thing, "I hope he takes notes like that in class when he's older. He'll be valedictorian for sure!"

That was when Blue was in first grade. Back then, Red had thought it was funny for a small child to be so invested in conspiracy theories. At least until Blue had destroyed his Care Bear plushies because "they're bad voodoo, mom! I saw it online!" After that, Red had immediately banned Blue from using the internet, now convinced that it was screwing with her poor baby's mind.

Tweek honestly just thought the little guy was on to something.

Between the two of them, Tweek was by far more accepting of their son's """bizarre""" beliefs than Red. He was the one that sat and listened to Blue's endless rants about the government and the Illuminati, enthralled by his tiny son's genius. He was the one that saved up money to buy Blue a telescope so he could have an easier time looking out for UFO's. And he was the one that taught him how to lock his drawers so his underwear would be safe from the gnomes.

Red was the one who tried to steer their boy away from that sort of thing and into sports, even when Blue made it very clear he didn't care for that sort of thing. She was the one that threw away his tinfoil hat while he was sleeping, saying "I'm looking out for him, the other kids will make fun of him if he wears it to school. You of all people should know that, Tweek." And she was the one that repeatedly insisted to him that the gnomes weren't real and the locks are unnecessary.

It wasn't that Red was a bad parent. She would just prefer it if Blue was...well, not weird.

Molly would probably prefer that too.

Molly believed Blue about aliens and underwear gnomes, but the other stuff? No way, she thought the rest of it was stupid and she made sure to tell him so whenever the opportunity presented itself. And because of this, Tweek often found himself having to separate his kids and man, that just made him so _anxious_. What if Molly hurt Blue? What if Blue hurt Molly? _What if Tweek hurt them both trying to break it up?_ He'd feel so awful, not to mention Red would rip him a new one for harming her precious babies. _Too much pressure!_

He bites down on his lower lip, looking down at his children, suddenly worried that they'll start fighting on the bleachers. That would be bad for more than just one reason.

Luckily, they seem to be getting along. ' _And by getting along, I mean ignoring each others existence,'_ Tweek thinks, sighing in relief.

Craig takes this as his cue to remove his hand, setting it in his lap instead and Tweek fights the urge to reach out for it. He's not supposed to do that. "He's got Skeeter's hair color," Craig comments, flashing a cheeky grin at Tweek that makes his heart skip a beat as he continues with, "His hair's all wild like yours though."

"Wild? I thought you said it was 'glorious'", Tweek shoots back, making quotation marks with his fingers at the last word.

Craig laughs, bumping his shoulder with Tweek's. "Hey, I told you not to talk about that."

"And I told you that I was going to tell everyone."

"You jerk, I thought we were friends," Craig teases, crossing his arms and dramatically turning his nose up at Tweek.

 _'This feels just like old times,'_ Tweek thinks to himself fondly. Right now, he's just Tweek and Craig's just Craig and everything's fine. It's only when he's opening his mouth to deliver a comeback that Tweek remembers that isn't quite true.

"Mom?" Trish calls out, sounding absolutely floored.

Both Craig and Tweek turn around to see Red and Jenny making their way up the stairs, Red looking like she might be up to something.

"Wow guys," Red stops by her children, giving them a once over, "Your dad didn't wrap you up in bubble wrap before taking you outside, I'm impressed."

Molly and Blue exchange a look before undoing the buttons on their shirts and opening them to reveal bubble wrap underneath.

Red groans, turning to Jenny, "Does Craig ever do shit like this?" 

Jenny shakes her head, "Can't say he ever has."

"Jenny," Craig breathes beside Tweek, getting up to approach her. "You're actually here."

It shouldn't bother Tweek that Craig looks so elated to see Jenny here, but it does. He clenches his jaw when she flashes her bright smile at him, meeting him halfway and standing on her tiptoes to give him a quick peck.

 _'_ _There's no reason for you to be angry,'_ Tweek tells himself. _'She's his wife, she can kiss him whenever she wants.'_

"Surprise!" Jenny grins, grabbing both of Craig's hands and squeezing them.

 _Stoptouchinghimstoptouchinghimstoptouchinghim._

"I managed to get today off so I could see Todd! I thought a lot about what Patricia said last night and she's right; I'm never here." Tweek has to keep himself from sighing in relief when Jenny releases Craig, moving to address their daughter. "I'm sorry, honey. You were right and I shouldn't have snapped at you for calling me out."

Craig and his daughter both look like deer caught in the headlights, staring at Jenny like she's somehow wearing a fish for a hat. Trish looks like she mumbles something and her mother pats her shoulder, giving her a reassuring smile. "It's okay. We can talk about that more later."

It's at this point that Nelly, who Tweek hadn't even noticed before, calls out, "Jenny Simon! You dog, you're married to _Craig_?"

"You're married to _Kyle_?" Jenny shoots back, climbing over the bleachers so she can seat herself next to her old friend.

Tweek stops listening after that, now focused on Red, who looks more on edge than he'd ever seen her. "Craig, why don't you go sit with your wife? I've gotta talk to my husband in private real quick."

 _Shit, shit, shit._

Craig glances back at Tweek, his lips pressed into a hard line, and then he follows Red's suggestion, never looking back at him again.

Red jerks her chin up, signaling for Tweek to follow her, only stopping to tell Molly to keep an eye on her brother. She leads Tweek all the way to her car and once they're inside, she sucks in a deep breath, her eyelids squeezed shut like she's in pain.

"So Jenny asked me for some advice today," Red starts cautiously, glancing at Tweek, who stays quiet, "She says her and Craig's marriage is on the rocks. Apparently, Craig's all confused about his feelings right now and so they're gonna go to counseling, I guess?" She shrugs at this, staring out the windshield, her gaze a bit glassy.

"Yeah….Craig mentioned that," Tweek mumbles, looking down at his hands folded neatly in his lap.

"So." Red sucks in another deep breath, working up the courage to say whatever she's got planned next.

She keeps quiet for too long, so Tweek urges her on with a soft, "So?"

Red finally lets out the breath she's been holding. "So he's vulnerable right now and I guess I just wanted to tell you..that maybe you should stay away from him."

"I don't think I can do that."

Tweek would pat himself on the back for saying that without rushing through his words or stuttering, but this isn't the first time he's been able to do that with Red. They've argued so much over the years, it's become second nature to snap back at her without thinking about it.

In the drivers seat, Red turns her head to deliver a hard glare to him. "You know you're married to _me_ , not my cousin, right?" She reminds him bitterly, locking her steely gaze with his.

"Does our marriage even really count as one? We both did it for all of the wrong reasons."

Red's face darkens when he says this. They don't talk about that conversation they had so long ago. It's a forbidden topic, for Red at least, but here Tweek was, using it against her. "Besides," he continues, "I already spent too many years away from Craig. I'm not going to avoid him anymore. I miss him." There's no venom in his voice when he says this, only honesty, but for Red, that's a more painful sting than the venom would have been.

She recovers quickly, spitting, "Wrong reasons or not, we're still married. Just like Craig and Jenny are and he promised her he'd fix it. He loves _her_ , Tweek. Not you."

If Red had said this a few days ago, Tweek would have flinched from the harshness in her tone, believing her words to be true. But with the memory of how fast Craig said no when Tweek had asked him if he was in love with Jenny still fresh in his mind, he scoffs, rolling his eyes, "Yeah, okay." And because it's Red and he finally has the upperhand in one of their fights, he adds, "That's why he told me likes me the other night."

"He's just confused, Tweek!" Red practically shouts, throwing her hands into the air. "If Craig _really_ liked you, he would have told you _years_ ago. He's just having a midlife crisis."

"Craig's not even old enough for a midlife crisis!" Tweek yells back, suddenly defensive, "And I've liked Craig since the fourth grade and I never said anything either!"

Red groans loudly in annoyance, pinching the bridge of her nose and squeezing her eyes shut. "I don't know if you've noticed," she says sharply, "but you and Craig are two _completely_ different people. And either way, he's married to _Jenny._ Not you. Jenny. And he promised her he'd try and save their marriage, so leave them the fuck alone."

"Yeah Red, because I was planning on seducing Craig the minute Jenny turned her back, you know me so well."

"You were already flirting with him when we walked up! Don't think I didn't notice how close you two were sitting, you were practically squished against him!"

"I was not!" Tweek yells, hands flying up to tug on his hair. Red's doing that thing again, when she blows things out of proportion and makes them more serious than they actually are. He knows it's never true when she does that, but the anxiety in his brain is ten times stronger than logic, practically sitting on it and making Tweek stress over things that aren't even true.

"You were!" Red shouts back, banging her fist against the wheel and making the horn go off. "God, you're always all over Craig! You look at him like he's the only one in the room, it's pathetic!"

" _I'm_ pathetic?!" Tweek's eyes go wide and he gapes at the hypocrisy in that accusation. "You're the one that dumped your boyfriend because other girls thought he was cute and rebounded on a safe bet!" Red's face falls when he mentions Kevin and for a second, he considers stopping right there and apologizing. That was a bit of a low blow. But then he remembers how often she uses Craig against him, how she keeps pushing and pushing until Tweek can't take it anymore and he continues, "You must feel stupid, now that Kevin's single and I'm 'pathetically in love' with your cousin."

Red scoffs, "You're the stupid one. 'Oh no, I can't date Craig, how can I ever get over him? Oh, I know, I'll date his cousin! Thatwon'tbackfireatall!'" She moves one of her hands like a mouth as she mocks his voice, her thumb hitting the other four fingers rapidly to demonstrate the way he sometimes speeds through whatever he's saying.

" _Idon'tsoundlikethat!"_ Tweek screeches, clenching his fists. "And _you're_ the one that asked _me_ out, remember? _You_ proposed to _me_."

"Yeah, but who said yes?"

"I have trouble saying no to people and you know it!"

"Well if Craig comes to you asking if you want to blow him or something, you'd better say no," Red snaps, jabbing a finger in Tweek's chest.

He swats it away, "I won't. I'll say, 'Oh Craig, I've wanted to do this for so long!'" He throws an arm up, the back of his hand hitting his forehead like he's swooning, "'Forget about our kids, let's change our names and travel the world together and never, ever look back!'"

"Ha ha," Red says dryly, "Very funny."

"Craig would've thought so," he retorts, throwing it in her face. It isn't a lie though; Craig was the one that taught him that brand of sarcasm.

Red knows this too and she presses her lips together, like she's trying not to scream, throwing her car door open. "I'm done with this conversation. Just don't fuck Craig."

"Okay. He'd probably be the one fucking me, so I can manage that," Tweek replies, getting out at the same time she does.

"Shut up," Red orders, irritated out of her wits.

They start back to the bleachers to retrieve Blue and Molly, but as they get closer they can see everyone else leaving, children in tow.

"Nice." Red laughs bitterly next to him, enough space between them to fit two more people. "This must be the sixteenth time we've had an argument that lasted a whole social event."

"Seventeenth," Tweek corrects.

Trish and Molly walk ahead of the group they must've been with, walking close together and talking animatedly, Trish waving her hands around as if denying something and Molly watching with a know-it-all grin she got from Red. Her hand is clasped around Blue's much smaller one and Tweek beams at this, proud Molly hadn't tried to just ditch him and that Blue wasn't struggling.

His face falls though when he sees Jenny and Craig trailing behind them, also holding hands. Jenny's swinging their hands back and forth, chattering on about something and Craig's looking at her so amazed, Tweek can't help but wonder if there was some truth in Red's words when she said he'd just been confused before.

"YOU CAME!"

Jenny and Craig both turn their heads in the direction of the excited scream and then Jenny's ripping her hand out of Craig's to kneel down and open her arms up to receive the young boy bolting toward her. He throws his arms around her, burying his face into her shoulder and she holds him close, laughing and rubbing circles into his back.

Craig watches them for a bit, that bright, genuine smile on his face again- the one that always makes Tweek go weak in the knees because all of Craig's smiles are beautiful, but that one specifically, the one that shows just how happy he is, that one always gets him the most. It's only a second later that Craig lifts his gaze to let it fall on Tweek, his eyes softening like they always do when he looks at him.

Tweek can hear Red inhale sharply through her nose as Craig makes his way over to them, his hand clapping Tweek's arm. He lets it linger there for a moment, saying, "Hey, thanks for coming out today, man. I'm sorry we couldn't uh- be together the whole time, I didn't know Red and Jen were gonna pop up." The way his voice falters slightly when he says _be together_ leads Tweek to believe that there's a double meaning to Craig's words and his lips raise into a lazy half smile.

"That's okay. We got to be together forjustalittle- so it's okay. There's always next time." His voice must be gaining that flirty tone Red hates so much again because the next thing he knows, she's cutting into their conversation, moving so she's right next to Tweek.

"Well, we'd better get going," she says, her hands jammed in her pockets as she makes eye contact with Craig. "Molly! Blue! Let's go!"

At the sound of their mothers voice, they snap their heads around, Molly mumbling something to Trish before she makes a b line to Red with Blue in tow. Tweek's just turning his head to ask who the kids should ride home with when Jenny pipes up, "Oh Red, they can come over if they want. We'll drop them off later."

"Oh, shit, well in that case-" _No no no Red, they already went outside once today and didn't die, let's not push our luck,_ "How's that sound to you guys?" Red asks her babies, kneeling down a bit to make eye contact with Blue.

"That sounds really nice!" Molly chirps, exchanging an excited look with Trish. " _Right_ Blue?"

Blue quickly nods his head up and down, glancing back and forth between Red and Molly rapidly. Red grins, reaching out to ruffle her boys hair.

"Well alright then! Thanks Jen!" She pulls her cousin-in-law into a hug, winking at Craig when she pulls away like everything's fine and she's not freaking out over the thought of him nailing her husband behind his back. "We'll see you guys later. Meet ya at home, Tweek." Red pats Tweek's arm and then she's off, like they didn't just have a screaming match in her car and like she didn't just shorten Tweek and Craig's conversation.

Jenny waves to Red as she leaves and then she turns her attention to Tweek, a kind, patient smile gracing her lips, the same kind she must use for the kids she treats. "Hey, we'll have them home early, okay? Craig can drive them home if you trust him more, just let us know."

"Oh, um." God, Jenny's so nice. It's easy to see why Craig would like her and he wishes he didn't feel so bad about it because he should be happy Craig has a nice wife that tries to understand people- Hell, Jenny laughed at all of Jimmy's jokes in high school and comforted Clyde when he cried, which was more than he could say for some of their other classmates, but a part of him still can't help but feel jealous and just a little bitter. Not toward Craig or Jenny but at himself for making this all happen.

Jenny's patient as Tweek fidgets through his thoughts, asking Craig quietly, "You have each others numbers, right?"

"Oh- I don't think so actually."

"What kind of sicko doesn't have his best friends number?" Jenny mutters, a teasing edge to her tone. Craig smirks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it, holding it out to Tweek a few swipes later.

"Put your number in so we can text or something later," he orders and Tweek nods like an idiot, ignoring Molly in the background who goes ' _oooooo_ ' in that way little kids do when two people kiss or something. He types in his number as quickly as he can, careful not to mess it up and hands it back to Craig. "Alright, thanks man," he says, taking it back.

"Yeah, _ofcourse_." He twitches at the end there, mentally slapping himself for it. There's still a few other families in the parking lot and he'd be lucky if none of the other kids saw that. Molly and Blue already took enough secondhand bullying at school. Molly must be thinking the same thing because when he looks at her, she's checking to see if anyone's watching them, breathing a small sigh of relief when she deems the coast clear. "I'll see youtwolater," Tweek tells his children, patting Blue's head and knowing better than to reach for Molly, " _Begoodokay_?"

"Okay," they chorus, giving him their best-behavior-smiles.

"We'll take good care of them!" Jenny assures him, more than likely noticing he's shaking just a bit more than usual. "See you later, Tweek!"

He forces a smile back, lifting his hand to signal his goodbye and walking away. It takes everything he has to get into his car without turning around to say 'You know what? I changed my mind, I'm taking them home with me!', but he knows that if he does that, Red will start another argument and Molly will be upset and Blue will get a headache, just like he always does when Tweek and Red scream at each other.

It's eerily quiet when Tweek gets home and he finds Red seated on the worn out couch, taking a swig of her beer. The t.v. plays in the background, some old modern remake of Romeo and Juliet. He sits next to her, all the way on the other end of the couch and they say nothing, the only sounds coming from the television and the beer bottle clinking whenever Red sets it down on the end table a little too hard.

It wasn't always like this.

He used to be able to talk to Red without screaming himself hoarse.

For a while, they'd been a little like best friends.

But Red didn't want him to be her best friend.

And Tweek could never really be her romantic partner.

He spent too much time wishing she was someone else, which is stupid and unhealthy, he knows, but he did this to himself and now he has to live with it.

...

It's their first time hanging out alone as a couple and Tweek's wondering how difficult it might be to climb out the window should Skeeter come home early.

Red's not supposed to have boys over when her father's not home, but according to her, he works so much he'd never catch her anyway so she might as well.

"Don't be scared, Kevin used to do it all the time!" Her eyes get a little soft whenever she mentions Kevin, which she's actually done a lot in their short time as a couple, but it doesn't bother Tweek. It probably should, because Kevin was Red's boyfriend for four whole years and they only broke up a week before he and Red got together, but he can't find it in himself to be upset. "And we were risky too. He stayed over all day and we kissed a lot, but my dad never found out."

"You guys kissed?" Kevin had never told him that. Why didn't Kevin tell him? Weren't they friends? Maybe not now, since Kevin was still hurting over Red dumping him out of the blue and couldn't stand the fact she'd moved on with Tweek so fast, but they used to be. Why wouldn't he tell him?

Red takes the hurt look on Tweek's face as jealousy and smirks- Why did she smirk? Older Tweek knows. She'd taken it as more evidence of him being a safe bet because why would someone be jealous of nerdy little Kevin? Tweek _had_ been jealous of Kevin, but not because of Red. It was dumb, but Tweek used to envy that Kevin could recite all of the Star Wars movies line for line.

"Yeah," she says, walking backward until her butt hits her bed. She climbs into it, sitting criss cross apple sauced and patting the spot next to her. Tweek joins her, mimicking her position and trying not to think of how much this screams Craig, because he's dating Red now and she's cool and funny and he's done with that whole Craig thing. A sly look crosses her face as she adds, "This is where we had our first kiss."

" _Icantellyoureallylikedhim_ ," Tweek squeaks, pointing at a picture Red has taped on the wall just above her bed. It's one of those you'd get at a photobooth, with four little pictures lined up in a strip. Each one is of Kevin and Red. In the first two, they look confused, like they're not sure if it's actually taking their picture. Red's even leaning forward in the second one, like she's checking to make sure and then in the third one, they're laughing, looking a little embarrassed. The fourth one is of Red with her arms around Kevin, pulling him close so she can kiss him on the cheek. There's the faintest hint of a grin on her lips and Kevin's smiling like an idiot, his hands resting on her arm and his face flushed.

Tweek's seen these pictures before.

Kevin had his own copy of the strip taped to the inside of his locker.

Just three weeks ago, Tweek watched as Clyde and Bradley helped him cleanse his locker of all things Red, watched when Kevin got a little teary eyed over that specific strip and refused to throw it away and saw how hard Clyde hugged him, insisting he was better off.

 _Poor Kevin,_ Tweek thinks, frowning.

Red follows his finger and immediately moves to take it down, shoving it under her pillow. "I did," she mumbles, something wistful in her tone. "But now I really like you. And I mean, I really, _really_ like you." She grins, reaching out to grab his hand and Tweek notices she isn't blushing and doesn't look nervous at all.

 _That's strange,_ he thinks. _Don't people usually get a little flustered when saying things like that?_

"Um, are you sure we're not gonna get in trouble? What if your mom comes home?"

Something flashes in Red's eyes for a quick moment, her face falling but she recovers quickly, coughing. "My mom isn't in the picture anymore. She uh- Left us for some truck driver dude when I was seven."

"I'm so sorry!" Tweek's hands fly to cover his mouth, horrified that he asked such an insensitive question. "I didn't know, _oh God_ , I'm sorry!"

"Hey, hey, whoa." She takes hold of his wrists, pulling his hands away from his mouth and winks at him. "It was years ago. I'm cool with it. My dad's fault for taking a risk on her, even he says it."

"I'm still so sor—mmph!"

She cuts him off by pressing her lips against his and his eyes go wide. Her lips are wet and he just knows he's going to have to wipe her cherry lip gloss off his lips before he goes home and suddenly, he finds himself wishing it was Craig so he wouldn't have that problem. Or maybe he wouldn't even bother wiping it off if it was Craig. No, he would, just to hear Craig joke about how Tweek was wiping away his kiss or something and get fake offended.

"So that's what it takes to get you to shut up," Red laughs, pulling away.

Wait, that was it?

Tweek gives Red a tiny fake smile in response, trying not to show how disappointed he actually is. That wasn't as magical as Token and Francis made it seem like it'd be. Francis acted like he won a million bucks after he kissed Nelly for the first time, but Tweek didn't see the big deal.

Not until twenty years later, when he felt like a supernova had gone off inside of him the exact millisecond his lips made contact with Craig's.

 _Oh_ , he'd thought. _That's what it's supposed to be like._

 **MONDAY**

"I hate my sister! I only like me!"

Blue's lying down on the ground in front of the bathroom, chanting that like a mantra.

Molly must've beat him to the bathroom.

"Blue, get up so I can put this bubble wrap on you!" Tweek calls from down the hall. He's knelt down next to the closet they have at the end of the hall, already pulling out the duck tape and wrap he keeps on the bottom shelf. Blue grumbles a bit before getting up and going over to his father, lifting his arms up so he can be wrapped up.

"Daddy," Blue says as Tweek begins the process of layering him in bubble wrap, taping the end of it securely when he's satisfied with his work. "Mommy took my tinfoil hat again."

"She did?" Tweek asks, even though he already knows this. Blue nods glumly, his lower lip sticking out in a sad little pout. "Gogetyourothershirt- I'll get your hat for you," Tweek says, nodding his head in the direction of his little son's room and patting his arm.

Blue beams, running to his room so fast he nearly knocks Molly over as she leaves the bathroom. "Watch it!" she snaps, flipping him off with both fingers.

"Molly!"

"My bad," she says, raising her hands up in defense. Tweek waves her over and she stalks over, lifting her arms in the same fashion as her brother.

"Oh no," Tweek sighs after one layer, twitching. "There's not enough forthreelayers."

"Oh no," Molly parrots, not sounding even a little concerned.

"I'll have to go to the storeformorelater."

"No!" Tweek flinches at the urgency in Molly's tone. "Uh- Dad, you're supposed to take it easy today, remember? You have your appointment with Dr. Norris today and he's gonna get you started on the new medication-"

"We're just going to _talk_ about the medication, nothing about that is final," Tweek grumbles, taping down the end of the wrap. They'd been thinking of getting him started on pills for years but, God, so much could go wrong with that. What if he took too much? Or what if it had really, _really_ bad side effects? Tweek didn't want a third arm to grow out of his armpit.

Blue reappears next to Molly, his button down pulled over his bubble armor and t-shirt, and he waits patiently for Tweek to button it for him. As he reaches out to do this, Molly speaks up, "Dad, maybe I should do it."

"No, no. It's okay. I can do it," Tweek insists, shakily fastening the buttons on Blue's shirt. It comes out sloppy, the same way Tweek buttons his own shirts, but Blue doesn't complain.

"Thanks daddy! Can I have my hat now?"

Tweek nods the affirmative, standing to retrieve Blue's surprisingly well made tinfoil hat from the top shelf. He'd obviously put a lot of time into making it. Molly makes a face as Tweek hands the hat back to Blue, who pulls it over his head urgently like it's the only thing standing between life and death.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Blue squeaks, throwing his arms around his father's waist and squeezing.

Molly eyes the thing like she's thinking of confiscating it when Tweek's not looking and he frowns. When he was younger, he always thought it'd be nice to have a sibling (Craig and Clyde always made a point to offer their sisters to Tweek whenever he brought this up but something tells him it wasn't out of friendshippy kindness) but the way Molly and Blue are constantly at each others throats, he figures he might've been wrong. They had their good moments once in a blue moon but the majority of their time together was spent screaming in each others faces and playing tug-of-war with whatever they were fighting over that day.

It kills him to think of the very likely possibility that they got that from watching him with Red.

"Let me just get your helmets and then I'll drive you to school," he says, patting Blue on the head as the boy releases him from his hug.

Molly trails after Tweek when he goes into his bedroom to retrieve the helmets. "Dad," she huffs, leaning against the doorframe and folding her arms over her chest. "We don't need helmets to go to school. We'll be fine."

"That's what they always say right before something bad happens! What if you fall down the stairs and hit your head? Or what if the building suddenly collapses on top of all of you? Ororor! What if-"

"Okay, dad, quit! You're making me anxious!" Molly cuts him off, scratching at her clothed forearms like they're the itchiest things on the planet. She takes a few deep breaths, focusing on something on the wall just behind Tweek's head and great, why's he always gotta shove his worries onto his kids like that? He swears he doesn't mean to, it just comes out. Maybe he should go on medication, if it meant his kids wouldn't have to listen to him ramble like that anymore.

Molly exhales, rubbing at her face, "Dad, don't make us wear the helmets today."

Her eyes are hopeful and pleading, just like they are every other time she asks this.

And like most times, he makes them wear the helmets anyway. Better to be safe than sorry.

"Should I park and walk you two in so you don't get kidnapped?" Tweek asks as he pulls up to the school, glancing at them in the rearview mirror. Both their faces pale when he mentions kidnapping, but Molly swallows and shakes her head no. "Are you sure?" He presses, forehead creasing.

"Yeah- I um. Dad, no offense but it's kind of embarrassing when you hold my hand all the time," Molly explains, twiddling her thumbs.

"It's just a safety precaution, Molly. I'm not tryingtoembarrassyou." He pulls to a stop right in front of the school's main entrance, scanning the area for any strangers before unlocking the doors.

Molly says nothing, climbing out of the car and waiting for Blue, who chirps, "Bye daddy! I love you!" and waves to Tweek as he drives off.

When he gets stuck behind Stan Marsh's truck, he looks back to make sure Molly and Blue get inside the building. They unfasten the straps to their helmets in sync, stuffing them into their backpacks and then seem to exchange a few words before Blue reluctantly hands his hat over to her. At first, Tweek thinks she's going to throw it away and considers getting out to scold her, but Molly surprises him by putting it on herself, looking humiliated.

The two of them walk into the school together, hand and hand, and right before Tweek has to tear his eyes away to focus on driving now that Stan has moved, he sees Molly lift up her free hand and show off her middle finger.

...

"So Craig's back, huh?" Dr. Norris starts, crossing his legs as he taps his pen against the notepad in his hand. He must have filled dozens of those things with Tweek's paranoid rambling and sob stories. If the confidentiality agreement wasn't in place, he'd probably publish them. They'd make a damn good read, more than likely. Who doesn't want to read about some twitchy dude that thinks gnomes steal his underwear and is smitten with his wife's cousin?

Tweek nods and Dr. Norris hums like this is a very important discovery. "You said before that you put on this whole facade in order to distance yourself from him, is that right?"

"I didn't want to _distance_ myself. I just didn'twanttomake him feel weird, since I thought he was straight and I mean- Agh, it'scomplicated."

"You _thought_ he was straight?" Dr. Norris quirks an eyebrow. "You make it sound like you found out otherwise."

"We made out a few days ago and he saidhefeelsthesameway."

Tweek instantly blushes, staring up at the ceiling and trying to ignore Dr. Norris's penetrating gaze. That's the first time he'd told anyone about that night. It'll probably be the only time now that Craig's in the process of repairing his marriage to Jenny.

"So are you two together now?"

"No. He's working things out with his wife."

"Mhm. And how does that make you feel?"

How _does_ that make Tweek feel?

Shitty. Sad. Disappointed. Mad- At himself for putting them in this situation.

"Voice your thoughts, Tweek. Despite your past accusations, I'm not a mind reader."

Tweek sighs. "I understand why he's doing it but- I don't even know howtoexplainitaccurately. I'm mad but not at him or Jenny. At myself, I mean- Wecouldhavebeentogetherthiswholetime."

"And why aren't you? You still haven't given me the whole story. You keep saying it's complicated, Tweek, why is it complicated?"

"There's-" He twitches and immediately after, he rubs the heel of his hand against his eyes, as if that'll prevent another one from interrupting him. "There's a lot of factors- I try not to think aboutitsometimes. It feels so bigandintimidating."

"Maybe you should think about it, Tweek." Dr. Norris sure does say his name a lot. Tweek wonders why he never really noticed before or why he even does it, but he figures it's some therapeutic tactic to keep the client focused. "Process all of it, and I mean really process it. Break it all down until it doesn't seem so big anymore. You might figure something out."

"Where would I even start?" Tweek mutters, biting down on his lip.

"From the beginning," Dr. Norris suggests, "Start from the beginning. You don't have to do it all in one go. Just take the week to go over all of it and we'll discuss it at our next session."

The thought of doing this- remembering every important event that got him to where he is now- is daunting for several reasons. It's not just remembering how he fucked up with Craig, but how he fucked up with pretty much everyone.

But because Dr. Norris seems to think this might help, he nods.

"Okay," he mumbles, "I'll try."

 **TUESDAY**

His parents house hasn't changed all that much since his childhood.

Tweek could probably recognize it a mile away, with it's chipped burgundy paint and grass in desperate need of mowing. His father had always put off mowing the lawn, insisting that the long, unkempt grass had a certain aesthetic.

Tweek used to think he was just lazy.

He stops by to visit his mother after dropping the kids off at school, only having to knock on the door twice before she throws it open and eagerly ushers him inside. The inside is well kept, probably because his mother spends most of her days indoors rather than associate with the outside world. Who would really blame her, though? All that's waiting outside are well-meaning people who will shower her in condolences she doesn't want to hear anymore.

"I'm glad you stopped by, sweetie!" she tells him, grabbing his arm and leading him to the dining room. There are a few boxes on the table, old clothes that hadn't been touched in years mostly filling them. Some of them also had old pictures and nicknacks he'd never seen before.

"I've been going through your fathers things," Cindy Tweak explains as she takes a seat in front of one of the boxes. "About time too," she adds, gesturing for him to take a seat next to her. When he complies, she beams at him, elbow on the table, chin in hand, as she tries to act like this isn't breaking her heart all over again. Cindy was always the best at faking smiles. Tweek was pretty sure that's where he got his natural talent for acting from. "He's been gone for nearly six years now. It's funny how some of this stuff still smells like him, you'd think it'd wear off."

Tweek can only nod in agreement as his mother reaches into one of the boxes, pulling out a stack of dusty pictures held together with a rubber band. She slides it off, looking at the first one with a sad smile. "Look." She holds it up so he can see it. A young Richard stands in front of Tweak Bros next to his older brother. His smile looks awkward and forced, like he doesn't really want to be there but has to be. "This was his first day as an official worker. Oh, he was always so nervous about working there but he did a pretty bang up job of running it while he was still around, if you ask me."

"He was really passionate about his work," Tweek agrees as Cindy shuffles through the pictures. Her eyes suddenly go soft at one, and her lip trembles as she holds it out for Tweek to see. It's of his parents in their teen years, sitting across from each other at one of the tables in their coffee shop. They're grinning at each other like lovesick fools, Cindy's hands raised like she was in the middle of telling a story and Richard watching her with his face in his hands. "Your uncle Melvin took that. Your father was so embarrassed, but I've always loved this picture."

She's close to crying, Tweek knows it.

Cindy leans over to the other side of the table, the side Tweek isn't sitting on, and grabs the sweater Richard had worn practically every day. He'd worn it so often, he had her stitch "Mr. Tweak" into it, like a nametag. She brings the fabric up to her nose, inhaling and then clutching it to her chest as she heaves, the tears finally flowing.

It's as if a dam breaks when she finally drops the I'm-okay charade and she grabs for Tweek's hand, gripping it tightly when she finds it.

He wants to hug her and tell her it's okay but he can't. She doesn't want to be coddled. She just wants someone to listen. Over the past six years, she's gotten impatient with people who feel the need to feed her cliches about how it gets easier and he'd want her to be happy. She just wants to grieve in peace.

"Tweak Bros was your fathers legacy," she sniffs, setting the sweater on her lap like a blanket and wiping her eyes with the back of her free hand. "It's up to us to make sure the shop lives on."

"I know mom," Tweek says softly, giving her hand a tiny squeeze.

"Do you think you'll pass the family business down to Molly or Blue?"

At first, he considers saying Molly because he knows Cindy thinks she's better with the customers and quick with the orders but he also knows that Cindy is well aware of Molly's desire to become a professional boxer and wouldn't hesitate to bring it up if Tweek tried to bull shit her.

But then, he can't really say Blue because Blue is more likely to become one of those people that hunt down aliens and ghosts and the like.

"I'm not really sure," he answers honestly and his mother nods in appreciation.

"That's fine, they're still little. You have plenty of time to decide."

She runs her thumb over the side of his hand as they sit in silence for a bit, both of them feeling a little incomplete without Richard there to complete South Parks original Tweak family. As a kid, Tweek hated Richard's endless coffee metaphors but now, he wishes he was here with one now. It would at least fill the silence.

"You know, I think about the domino effect a lot," Cindy speaks up, breaking the silence. "Especially how it affected your father and I. If Laura hadn't gone away for college and left me to go to Tweak Bros on my own, he probably wouldn't have gotten the nerve to talk to me. And then, if Melvin hadn't decided against running the shop, your father and I would've never owned Tweak Bros. Everything affects everything."

Her eyes are puffy and red rimmed now from crying but she still flashes Tweek a winning smile. "I'm glad I got to be married to Richard and that we got to have you. I know we weren't the best parents when you were small but we love you, Tweek."

"I know that, mom," Tweek says softly, feeling a little helpless and confused. Helpless because his mom was terribly heartbroken and there was nothing he could do about it but let her heal at her own pace. Confused because, why is she mentioning the domino effect? He brushes the confusion aside- Cindy had probably just wanted to remember how her and Richard came to be, that's all- and gives his mother a tiny smile, leaning over a bit to peck her on the cheek. "I love you too."

"All we ever wanted was for you to be happy, sweetie. You know that?"

"Yeah, I know." He sighs, glancing at the old sweater in her lap. "That's all I want for you too."

…

"Break it all down until it doesn't seem so big anymore," Dr. Norris had said.

"Start from the beginning," he'd advised.

Tweek could say that the beginning was at the dance. That was when they'd had their first real conversation after all. But after hearing his mother's thoughts on the domino effect, he thinks maybe it'd be more accurate to say the beginning was the Monday after the dance, when things suddenly became solid without either of them realizing.

There were only ten minutes left in class and their teacher decided to let them have some free time.

Everyone quickly gathered into their usual groups, Stan with Kyle, Kenny and Marjorine, Bebe with Red and Wendy, and of course, Tweek's own friend group.

It was pretty rare that anyone ever strayed from their usual group, but it happened sometimes. Some days Wendy would decide to insert herself in Stan's group, or Kevin would pull up a chair to join Tweek and the guys. It didn't happen very often though.

So it was pretty surprising for Tweek when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Craig Tucker sliding into the desk right next to him.

It was also pretty awesome and made Tweek feel like he won the lottery. He'd honestly thought that night at the dance was a one time thing. _Don't say something stupid and mess this up, don't say something stupid and mess this up_ , he thought to himself.

Before he could say anything, Jason piped up, "Aw shit, it's Craig Tucker! What's up dog? What brings you to our neck of the woods?"

"Jason, for the love of God," Tripply groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You said you were gonna stop talkin' like that," Francis adds, sounding just as annoyed.

Tweek nods frantically in agreement, turning to shoot Jason a look that basically said 'dude, not in front of Craig' when Dogpoo jumps to his defense, "Leave Jasoneezy alone! You guys are just jealous of his dope ass swag."

Tweek turns to Craig, waving his hands around wildly as if trying to cover up his friends arguing. "I swear they're not usuallylikethat!"

"It's cool," Craig says, his eyes focused only on Tweek. He really liked that- how Craig would give him his undivided attention without making him feel pressured to put on a facade. It was nice. "So," Craig starts, scooting his desk closer to Tweek's until their sides are touching. He leans into Tweek, whispering low so no one else will hear, "Do you think Garrison's a guinea pig robot?"

Their shoulders are touching, their heads so close together he can feel Craig's breath on him when he speaks. Tweek turns to squint at Garrison, looking him up and down for clues. "Hmmm." He rubs his chin slowly in thought, tilting his head and bumping it gently against Craig's, who tilts his as well. "He is kindofoutthere- for an elementary school teacher, that is. But I dunno, I think Principal Victoria is more likely."

"Principal Victoria?"

"Yeah man, she even talkskindalikearobot. Don't ya think?"

Craig makes a steeple with his hands, bowing his head and looking deep in thought. "Shit, man. She totally is. Mackey too, I bet. He says ' _mmkay_ ' too much to be human, it's probably some sorta glitch."

"I don't think he says it _that_ much."

"Dude, I'm in the counselors office like, every day. He says it _a lot._ "

"Really?" Tweek turns to stare at the side of Craig's head, trying to remember the last time he'd talked to the counselor. The last memory he has of Mackey is the one time they tried to get him to talk to him about his anxiety, but it was blurry and faded.

"God, yes," Craig groans dramatically, throwing his head back. "I've heard him say it so damn much, I can mimic him almost perfectly. _Mmkay_."

"Mmkay," Tweek parrots, his lips curling into an amused smile at the look Craig gives him.

The statue persona he normally wears cracks as he starts laughing, " _Mmkay_ , Tweek. Making fun of the school counselor is bad, _mmkay_?"

"I'll make fun of whoeverIwant, _mmkay_."

"Now Tweek, that isn't very nice, _mmkay_." Craig wags his finger in Tweek's direction, setting his other hand on his hip in a very Mackey-like way.

It sends Tweek over the edge.

He covers his mouth to hold back his laughter, squeezing his eyes shut as he doubles over. Besides him, Craig squeezes his eyes shut too, bringing his fist down on the desk and snickering like he'd just heard the funniest joke in the world.

"Oh shit," Craig manages between laughs, "His last name even _sounds_ like mmkay. Mr. Mackey, Mr. Mmkay. That's so great."

"I'll give you five dollars to call him Mr. Mmkay the next time you see him," Tweek bets as he recovers, his head down and his cheek pressed against the surface of his desk.

"Bitch, I'll do that shit for free."

They break into another fit of laughter, earning questioning glances from their other classmates. What a sight that must've been, Craig 'Human Statue' Tucker laughing with Tweek 'Sir Spazzalot' Tweak. Most people didn't even think they were capable of smiling, let alone laughing.

"Dude," Craig wipes away the small tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes, stifling another laugh, "If we're right about Mackey, I totally want the guinea pig that's piloting him."

"Mmm, you'd have to buy him from the aliens that brought him here," Tweek informs him, placing his arms underneath his head to make a pillow as he stares up at Craig.

"What do aliens even use as currency?"

"I dunno. Maybe it's the same as ours?"

"Maybe they'll take a cow. They're always abducting them."

"Or a human. They abduct those tooyaknow. Look up Fran Drescher."

Craig presses his lips into a hard line at this suggestion, his eyebrows pulling together. "Damn," he mumbles, sounding distraught. "I sure am gonna miss Clyde."

The bell rings just as Tweek starts laughing again and he feels a surge of disappointment. Why'd it have to ring right then? He was having so much fun talking to Craig, he didn't want to stop yet. Tweek slowly gathers his things, pouting just a bit at the interruption when Craig pokes him with a sharpie. "Give me your number."

"Huh?"

"Give me your number. Write it down on my arm," Craig says simply, rolling his hoodie sleeve up to his elbow.

Tweek stares at him for a second, bewildered. "Why?" He doesn't mean to sound so suspicious, but he can't help it. There were so many things someone could do with a phone number, like give it out as a fake or prank call it, it made Tweek a little wary.

"So we can continue our conversation," Craig explains, shrugging his shoulders and holding his arm out in front of Tweek expectantly. "Plus, I like talking to you."

 _I like talking to you._

That's all it takes for Tweek to uncap the sharpie and jot down his number on Craig's arm. He takes his time, making sure it's at least readable, and bites back a grin when he says, "I like talking to you too."

Minutes later, when he's away from Craig and walking home with his friends, the confusion comes back tenfold. "Isn't it kind of weird that we get along this well this fast?!" Tweek squeaks, running his hand over his chest. "I mean, we've only really talked twice! Do you guys think he's a government spy? Or working for the aliens? Do you think they could use my number to trackdownmyaddress?"

"Jesus, Tweek, breathe." Francis cast a concerned look back at Tweek, probably worried he was going to make himself pass out or something. "You guys hit it off, that's all."

"Or he's gonna prank call you," Jason suggests, kicking an empty water bottle into the street. Dogpoo goes after it, Tripply close behind listing off reasons it's dangerous to run into the middle of the road.

"Yeah, that's more likely," Francis admits, stopping with the others to wait for Tripply and Dogpoo to return.

"GAH! You really think so?!"

"Yeah dude, I betcha anything you get a phone call tonight of someone whisperin' ' _seven daysss'_." Jason wiggles his fingers menacingly in Tweek's face, making his voice go deep and Batman like when he says the last two words.

Francis tsks, shaking his head. At first, Tweek thinks maybe he'll scold Jason, but then he says, "You're such an amateur, dude. You don't call the day you get the number, it's too obvious. You gotta wait three days, at the very least."

"I thought that was the rule for callin' girls."

Francis shrugs, "It can go both ways. And if anything, they'll just call and breathe all heavy and say something about being outside Tweek's window...or something."

"Oh Jesus!" Tweek screeches, tugging at his hair harshly as Dogpoo and Tripply return, the former cradling the water bottle like an infant.

"I did it. I saved my child," Dogpoo declares, holding the water bottle up like Simba as Jason smacks Tweek's shoulder.

Tripply looks back and forth between Tweek and Jason and Francis, his eyes narrowing. "What did you guys say to Tweek?"

"The truth!" Jason and Francis blurt out in sync.

Tripply huffs, turning to Tweek for an explanation.

"They told me Craig's gonna _prankcallme_!"

Tripply immediately whirls on Jason and Francis, looking absolutely enraged. "Why would you tell him that!? You know he gets worked up over little things, don't do that!"

"Okay _mother_ ," Jason replies in a deadpan tone, rolling his eyes and walking away.

"Don't use that tone with me, mister!" Tripply snaps, stomping his foot and following Jason, rambling about how inconsiderate he can be.

Tweek's anxious for the rest of the walk home, Francis and Jason's words still ringing in his head even after he separates from the rest of the group. Was Craig really the type to do that? To make someone think they were becoming friends just so he could get their number and prank call them? He seemed so nice. What if Craig actually hates him and this is all some elaborate scheme to ruin Tweek's life?

"Hey hun!" Cindy greets when Tweek walks into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, setting his backpack on the floor. "How was school today?"

Tweek makes a small, distressed noise.

She nods. "That's good."

Without even needing to be asked, Cindy hands Tweek a mug of fresh coffee and he gratefully chugs it down in one go.

"Alright hun, I'm going down to the shop to help your father, so remember. Don't open the door for anyone and don't use the stove. There's some food for you in the fridge that you can warm up in the microwave, mmkay?"

Tweek snorts. " _Mmkay_."

"Good! I'll see you later, sweetie."

He waves goodbye to her, pulling a chair over to the counter so he can make himself more coffee when the phone starts ringing. On reflex, he calls for his mom to answer it before remembering that she literally just left and twitches, fretting over the different directions this could go.

He pushes the chair over to the phone so he can reach, climbing on top of the seat and taking it off the hook. "H-Hello?"

"Okay, cool. I was kind of worried you gave me a fake number," a relieved voice sounds from the receiver.

It's Craig.

He really did want to talk to Tweek after all.

Tweek suddenly feels stupid for doubting Craig, happiness filling him to the brim.

They pick up the conversation where they'd left off in class, and when that's done, they move on to other subjects. They talk about their pets and their families, their friends, what they want to be when they grow up, their favorite shows. By the time Tweek's parents come home later on in the night, they're still talking, debating over whether Naruto could beat Goku in a fist fight. It only ends when Richard makes Tweek hand the phone over so he can make a business call and Tweek finds that even though he'd already been talking to Craig for hours at that point, he still didn't want to stop.

It was like they could never run out of things to talk about. Like they could never get bored of each other.

Craig must have felt this way too.

He called every day after that.

 **WEDNESDAY**

Tweek's zipping up Blue's jacket when they hear a blood curdling scream come from upstairs. Both he and his son freeze up at the sound, staring wide eyed in the direction of the noise.

"DADDY, HELP!" Molly shrieks.

She barely has the last word out of her mouth when Tweek barrels up the stairs, nearly tripping over his own feet as he rushes to the bathroom, throwing the door open so hard it hits the wall with a loud _bang!_

Molly throws herself at him, latching on and burying her face in his shoulder, something she hasn't done in years. It would've made Tweek unbelievably happy if she wasn't terrified and sobbing.

"Oh daddy," she cries, clutching his shirt, "I don't know what I did, but my stomach hurts really bad and there's blood, and, and-"

"Shh, shh, it's okay, baby. I'm right here, I'm going tohelpyou," Tweek assures her, trying to sound as soothing as possible. Molly sniffs, nodding against his shoulder as she hugs him tighter, like she never wants to let go. "Where is the blood comingfrom?"

Molly whimpers, reluctantly pulling away from her father to point at the lower half of her body. "Down there."

"Like from your privates?"

Molly nods shakily and Tweek lets out a sigh of relief, giving her a weary smile.

"That's just your period," he states matter-of-factly, patting her shoulder. After a full minute of her staring at him incomprehensibly, he asks, "Didn't your mom tell you about it?"

"No," Molly admits, looking down. "What is it?"

"Um." Of course he'd be the one to have to explain this. He told Red to talk to her about it once she hit double digits so she wouldn't get caught off guard and panic, but nooo. Red just had to stubbornly insist that it could wait since Tucker girls always got it late. "It's part of puberty, that's all. Your body's going through some changes and this is oneofthem."

"So am I gonna bleed all the time now…?" Molly questions meekly.

"No, only one week of every month. Notallthetime. Your mom can tell you more later, but for now, I'm just going to keepyouhome from school and we'll go get you some pads. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, except um..." Molly's eyebrows crunch together as she tilts her head. "What are pads?"

…

After calling Molly in and dropping Blue off at school, despite his excuse of also being on his period, Tweek and Molly end up at one of the local drug stores, searching for the feminine hygiene aisle.

Despite complaining about having to hold his hand all the time only a few days before, Molly practically clings to Tweek, holding on to his arm as they navigate the tiny store.

Standing in front of shelves filled with various types of pads and tampons makes Tweek feel a little overwhelmed. He actually sort of wishes Red was here to help, she'd definitely make the process a whole lot easier. Tweek knew next to nothing about pads but Molly knew even less than he did, so they were kind of at a standstill.

Maybe he should call his mother.

Just as he's reaching into his pocket for his phone to do exactly that, a familiar voice calls out to them, "Tweek? What are you doing in the aisle?"

Jenny approaches them slowly, holding a small box of band aids.

"I'm buying something formydaughter," he explains, fidgeting a bit as Molly pokes her head out from under his arm.

"Hi Mrs. Tucker," she greets, her voice small.

 _Mrs. Tucker. As in Craig's wife, Mrs. Tucker._

Tweek winces, looking away from Jenny and instead scanning the products in front of him.

"Hi Molly!" She chirps, lifting her hand in greeting. "Having trouble finding pads?"

"Yeah," Molly says shyly, "It's my first time. Is my stomach supposed to hurt?"

"Yes, that's perfectly normal. You're just cramping," Jenny replies, using what Tweek guesses to be her doctor voice. "You're twelve, right?" Molly nods. "Then you should be fine to take ibuprofen to help relieve the pain if it gets too bad."

"What kind of pads shouldsheuse?" Tweek asks, still keeping his eyes off of Jenny.

She hums in thought for a second before grabbing a box and handing it him. "Maxi pads are always good for beginners."

He finally faces her, giving her what he hopes is a grateful smile for her help and she flashes him that patented Jenny-Simon-smile that makes everyone that meets her feel like the most important person in the room. For Tweek, it's a little different. All he can see is everything Craig decided to spend the rest of his life with and it makes him twitch, Molly squeezing his hand in what might be her attempt at comfort when he does.

"Thanks for the help," he mumbles, averting his eyes from her cheerful face.

"Of course, any friend of Craig's is a friend of mine!" Jenny proclaims, sounding so sure of herself it makes Tweek wonder how Craig could have ever liked them both. Tweek and Jenny couldn't be any more different. Jenny was popular in high school, practically no one hated her. She was athletic and smart, though not as out there about it as Wendy and Kyle. And above all, she was confident. Jenny _knew_ she was pretty, knew that she was clever and that she was well liked. She wasn't cocky, but she knew her worth.

Tweek was different.

In high school, he'd mainly stuck by Red in an attempt to distance himself from Craig and even though Red was pretty popular herself, that did nothing for Tweek's own social status. And even though he was sure he wasn't hated by _everyone_ back then, he knew for a fact he was hated by Dogpoo, who had once been one of his closest friends and therefore counted as a hundred people. Tweek had also given up boxing by the end of his freshman year (it just didn't feel right anymore) and he was a good enough student, but he couldn't touch Jenny in the brains department. And he definitely wasn't confident. Tweek spent most of his high school career picking at the zits on his face, wishing they'd just disappear, and must have changed his hair style a dozen times, even going as far as to let Red dye it.

"What are the band aids for?" Molly asks, pulling Tweek out of his thoughts.

He thinks to maybe chide her for being nosy, but Jenny doesn't seem to mind at all. "They're for my boo thang," Jenny responds, making Molly giggle at the nickname for her husband, "He's been getting these nasty little cuts on his hand so I figure I should help him out." Her phone dings and she fishes it out of her purse to check the notification, a sly smirk appearing on her face as she does. "I'd better get going," she announces, putting her phone back in her purse. "I'll see you guys around. I hope you feel better, Molly."

"Bye Mrs. Tucker!" Molly waves to her as she leaves, looking up at Tweek with worried eyes when she's out of earshot. "Are you okay, daddy….?"

Tweek blinks hard, "Huh?" Shit, was it that obvious? "Um- Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?" Smooth, Tweek. Real smooth. Phrasing it like that doesn't sound suspicious at all.

Molly pats his arm with her free hand, smiling up at him reassuringly. "It's okay, daddy. Trish said that their marriage is on the rocks, so you'll be good to go soon. Let's just go get ibuprofen for now, okay?" She pulls him toward the medicine aisle, ignoring the way Tweek's jaw drops.

Molly had always been a strange child. Not strange in the way Blue was, but- How to put it? She'd always been weirdly….mature? Or not childlike? Whatever it was. Maybe she didn't know about periods, but she definitely knew about sex. Tweek remembered trying to explain to her where babies came from once, when Blue was on the way. Molly had only been four years old, so he'd tried to go with the stork story but she'd made a face at him, saying, "Daddy, I not stupid. I know you fucked," and gone right back to playing with her dolls, paying no attention to the way her fathers face paled.

Later, after he'd told Red about the encounter, she'd tried to question Molly further, convinced that the small child didn't know what she was talking about. "I not stupid!" Molly had wailed, furrowing her little eyebrows at Red, "You touched privates! Why you try to lie?"

Red had gone silent for a bit before patting Molly's head. "That's my girl, you always call out bullshit when you see it, okay?"

" _Red!"_ Tweek had shrieked from the other side of the room, baffled she wasn't more concerned about this.

"Kay," Molly replied, giving her mother a tiny smile.

That pattern would repeat over the years, like when Tweek told Molly that sex only took place when two people loved each other _veryyyy_ much and a seven year old Molly looked him right in the eye and said, "Daddy, I'm not stupid. People have sex because they're horny, love has nothing to do with it."

Tweek flinched, stumbling through his words, " _Gah_ \- what? What makes yousaythat?"

Molly had shrugged, "You and mommy don't love each other."

That was another thing.

Most children were vehemently against their parents separating in any shape and form, but Molly was an exception. After one of their worse fights, Red had gone out for a smoke, slamming the door behind her as Tweek tried to calm himself on the stairs, sitting on the lower steps and taking deep breaths.

He'd felt a small hand rubbing his back and turned to see Molly seated next to him, a tired look on her face. "I wish you guys would split up already. You're giving each other gray hairs," she'd sighed before standing. "I'm gonna go talk to mom," she'd told him, standing up and going to the door.

Molly had only been ten then.

"This is the one, right?" Molly suddenly says, holding a little pill bottle up for Tweek to inspect.

He checks for the appropriate ages and nods, "Yeah, that's the one."

Molly grabs his arm again, nuzzling her cheek against it and it makes Tweek feel a little emotional. It's been so long since Molly was so openly affectionate- or rather, since she was affectionate at all toward him. For years, she'd flinched whenever he reached out for her, backing away from him as quickly as possible, or only allowing him to hold her hand, her own hand limp in his. The sudden change is probably because Molly thought she was dying earlier and kids always seem to get clingier to their parents when they're not feeling well, but Tweek will take whatever he can get. "Hey Molly? You still like chocolate ice cream, right?"

She peers up at him curiously, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, why?"

"Do you want some? We can get one of the smaller ones for you to eat when we get home."

Molly beams at him, "Yeah, okay! Thanks dad!"

…

They spend the rest of the morning sitting on the couch and watching reruns of old cartoons, Molly cuddled up to Tweek's side and his arm around her. She'd already eaten her ice cream, taking a shower immediately after and changing into comfier clothes. Her hair was still damp and it got Tweek's shirt a little wet from where her head rested against his side.

 _'Next after Terrance and Phillip is Red Racer! Stay tuned folks!'_

"Ooo, that's your boyfriends favorite show," Molly teases, waggling her eyebrows up at Tweek.

" _What!?"_

"Dad, c'mon. I'm not stupid," Molly reminds him, rolling her eyes, "You guys look at each other all gooey-eyed, I've never seen you look at mom like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Molly. Your mother and I-"

"Daddy," she cuts him off, scooting away from him a bit to look up at him very seriously, "I know you think it'll crush me or whatever if you guys split up, but I'm not Blue. I want you guys to split up, I've been waiting for it to happen for a really long time."

Tweek thinks about that day on the stairs and frowns, ducking his head and keeping his eyes off his young daughter. Sure, he and Red fought a lot, but that bad? _That_ bad? Molly reaches out to overlap his hand with hers, continuing softly.

"You guys don't make each other happy. Mom's miserable and so are you. It's been that way for a really long time and I don't want you guys to think you have to stay together for my benefit- I really do think you guys would be better off. I mean, Blue might be a little sad but he'll understand when he's older, you know?"

Tweek sighs, still refusing to look at her. He doesn't want to see how much older his daughter looks talking about such mature topics. This kind of stuff should have never been a thought in her mind and he hates that she's right and that it's his fault she's right. "When did you get so smart?"

"Dad, I've always been smart. You knew that," she quips, moving so she can cuddle up against him again. He holds her closer this time and she lets him, giving him a few minutes of peace before bringing up her next subject. "So about Mr. Tucker. I've noticed you're happier around him, that's good."

"He's my best friend," Tweek says simply, hoping to leave it at that.

Unfortunately, Molly's her mother's daughter and has inherited her determination when it comes to digging the dirt on someone. "Yeah, the best relationships always start off like that. You know, he looks at you like you put the stars in the sky or something."

" _He does!?_ " Tweek eagerly asks before remembering who he's talking to. He clears his throat awkwardly, his face turning red. "Mm, that'sniceIguess."

"Yup," Molly confirms, a smirk in her voice, "It's a little weird since he's my best friends dad and all, but I'd totally be cool with it if you guys wound up together- _Actually_ , that'd be pretty cool, Trish would be my sister if you guys got hitched."

"He's marriedtoJenny," Tweek refutes, wondering why he's even having this conversation with his _daughter_ of all people in the first place.

Molly shrugs against him, "Eh, Trish told me they've been really distant for years."

For years. Did Craig just never really love her or did they grow apart? Against his better judgment, he opens his mouth to ask her to clarify but is cut off by the front door opening, a string of obscenities being unleashed by whoever opened it.

"….disrespect me in my fucking bar, next time that arrogant prick talks down to me I'll break a fucking bottle over his shit filled head," Red mutters, closing the door behind her and dropping her purse on the floor.

"Mommy!"

Molly jumps up from the couch, going over to hug Red, who sounds embarrassed when she says, "Oh! Molly! You're home! …..how much of that did you hear?"

"All of it."

"Oh. Welp, my bad." Red grins, ruffling her girls hair before pulling her in for a bear hug. "And what are you doin' home, little buddy? Playin' hooky?"

"No, dad let me stay home because I got my period!"

Tweek stands up, revealing himself to Red. "Rough day at work?"

"Oh, hey. Didn't see ya there." Red hoists Molly up into her arms, still able to do so thanks to the exercise of lifting up heavy boxes at the bar. "Yeah, fuckin' Cartman came in today and was actin' all high and mighty again." She rolls her eyes, looking a lot like Molly when she does so. Speaking of Molly, Red pats her back like she's a baby, nuzzling her cheek against hers and smiling warmly. "I can't believe you got your period. That's so cool, now we can bitch to each other about how much it sucks."

" _Red_ ," Tweek warns, giving her a look that reads _You've got to stop cussing in front of our kids._

She looks like she might argue, but shuts her mouth when Molly whines, "I hate cramps so much and- _ugh_ , I feel like I'm wearing a diaper."

Red snorts, turning to carry Molly up the stairs and presumably to her room. "Yeah, I know. That's why I switched to tampons after a while but _man_ , those can be uncomfortable too. It's like there's no winning."

Tweek watches them go, listening to the opening and closing of Molly's door and tries not to feel too bad about Molly immediately ditching him for Red. It was only natural she'd want her mother.

And besides.

It was nice while it lasted.

…

They're in their early twenties and Red has just given birth to their first child.

A baby girl named Molly Elizabeth Tweak.

"She's so beautiful," Red murmurs, running her thumb along her newborns cheek. Molly's eyes are wide open, alert and darting around a bit to observe the world around her.

Her eyes were the same shade of blue as Red's, though they were big and pixieish like Tweek's. She also had a lot of light blonde hair seeming to stick out at every direction, Red petting it lightly.

"That's going to be a pain when she gets older," Red lightly jokes, smiling tenderly at her new daughter. Red's own hair is now a much more natural shade of red, like her fathers, as she'd been unable to dye it during her pregnancy. It almost makes her look like a different person, but she doesn't seem to care much about that anymore. At least not right now, as she glows with a combination of pride and happiness, radiating the type of love and affection only a devoted mother can.

Tweek leans over a bit to get a closer look at Molly, his heart melting at the sight of her tiny face.

 _That's my daughter._

"Sorry you got my wild hair," he apologizes quietly, making Red chuckle. "My parents will beheresoon," he notifies Red, his eyes glued to Molly's face.

"Nice, they can hold their little granddaughter."

"Can I hold her?"

It's an innocent question but Red whips her head around to gawk at him as if he's asked to throw their baby out the window.

"Is that really a good idea?" she questions slowly, holding Molly a bit closer than before.

"Why wouldn'titbe?"

Red presses her lips together, thinking of how to phrase her response without seeming like an asshole. "It's just. You kind of. Twitch a lot. I don't want you to drop her..."

" _What_. I wouldn't do that!"

"Not on purpose! But- Tweek, I'm sorry. I don't want to take the risk, I mean, look at her," Red turns her gaze back to Molly, leaning in to kiss her forehead, "She's so small and _fragile_. I don't want you to hurt her."

"How could you ever think that I'd hurt our daughter?" The mere implication of Tweek doing so makes his head spin in the worst way possible. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he ever did anything to harm Molly, why couldn't Red see that?

"Tweek, I just said I don't think you'd do it on purpose!" She's whisper yelling now, careful not to disturb the sleeping infant in her arms. "But you spaz out a lot and your arms go everywhere and- I'd rather be safe than sorry."

He wants to argue with her, to tell her he's better now and that he can handle holding a baby, but he doesn't get the chance because the next thing he knows, Skeeter's barging in, demanding to see his new granddaughter.

Red is adamant about keeping Molly out of Tweek's arms, even resorting to calling Ruby and Laura Tucker over to help with the baby should she need the assistance. He thinks maybe she'll loosen up once a few weeks go by and she goes back to work at the bar, but to his horror, Red merely wears Molly in a baby carrier and takes her along.

It's only when Molly's sitting up that Red finally allows it, though she's on edge the entire time.

"Okay," Red starts, forehead creased with worry as she bounces Molly on her hip, "You have to sit down first. And keep your arms around her the whole time. And whatever you do, _don't_ try to stand up with her."

"Alright, alright, just handherover!" Tweek held his arms out impatiently, praying to every God imaginable that Red wouldn't change her mind at the last second. Reluctantly, Red sucks in a deep breath, sitting Molly in Tweek's lap very carefully, her hands hovering just in case.

It felt like having a slice of heaven when he finally got to hold her for that first time.

So many months had passed where he'd tried to carry her, each time to be shot down immediately by Red and her paranoia.

Well, he couldn't really call it paranoia anymore. Her fear had been warranted.

For years, he'd held a small grudge over the way she'd acted but then he proved her right and he couldn't say anything about it anymore.

Molly was eight years old when it happened.

Tweek had been talking to Cartman on the phone, listening to his latest dumb idea while going through the mail.

It started off harmless enough, with Cartman trying to convince Tweek to get the gnomes to team up with someone he called 'Cupid Me'.

"There's power in numbers, Tweek. If Cupid Me and the gnomes join forces, we can-"

"Dude, I can't help you. Me and the gnomes aren'tcoollikethat- What do you think I am, the gnome king?"

"Geez, you're as helpful as ever. We ask you to make hats, you don't make enough. You come to save us from George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, and you end up getting captured too. We ask you about what happened to Craig, and you claim to not know-"

"I _don't_ know! He didn't tell me anything!" Tweek cries, interrupting Cartman's rant.

"Hmmm...interesting," Cartman hums on the other line, making Tweek's skin crawl. Why was he humming like that? What does that mean? Is there something Tweek should know? "You know, that only backs up my theory of Craig being dead, I mean, c'mon, why wouldn't he tell you?"

There it is again.

The Craig is dead theory Tweek hates so much.

It started off as kind of a joke, when Craig took off without telling anyone.

He'd been gone for a month when Kenny joked at one of their gatherings, "Did Tucker kick the bucket or something? Where's he been?"

Everyone laughed it off at first, save for Tweek and Marjorine who took the suggestion to heart, but it got less and less funny as time went on.

Rumors started flying about what could have happened, each one worse than the last.

If the Tuckers knew anything, they didn't say so.

When asked about it, they'd usually say something along the lines of "Why does it matter?" or "Mind your own business."

This was very suspicious to most people, especially people like Cartman and Kenny who loved to spread out of proportion rumors.

Cartman takes Tweek's silence as his cue to go on, so he says, "I wonder how he died. Do you think it was a car accident? Craig was kind of a reckless driver in high school, remember? He thought he was the fuckin' red racer or somethin'. He probably drove himself off a bridge."

Shit, that was so true.

Tweek worried himself sick when Craig first started driving, the stories he heard about the 'Driving with Craig Tucker Experience' only making things worse. Clyde and Jimmy had raved about how Craig put the pedal to the metal, Token even saying Craig had gone so fast once, it made him puke.

Fuck, what if Craig _did_ drive off a bridge?

"Or maybe those guinea pigs from Peru came back for vengeance and ate him or somethin'. I actually wouldn't mind seeing that, that must've been quite the showdown."

"Cartman, shutup!" Tweek nearly screeched, dropping the mail when his hands start shaking uncontrollably. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He could just hang up, of course, but there's something inside him that forces him to keep listening, to hear out all the different ways Craig could have bit the dust.

This must be some sort of punishment for refusing to comply with Cartman's demands because he's still going, feigning innocence, "Tweek, this is important. We deserve to know how the biggest asshole in all of South Park died. Speaking of which, my next guess is he got kidnapped and has his organs stolen and sold on the black market- _Oh man_ , that would _really_ suck, do you think they killed him right away or let him bleed out?"

That does it.

Tweek lets the phone fall to the floor, his hands flying up to grab at his hair. And just as he does that, his elbow hits something- no, _someone_ \- hard.

Molly, who came over to make sure he was okay since she saw him shaking, telltale signs of him going into an anxiety attack, holds her nose, moaning in pain.

He blanches when she moves her hands away, blood dripping out of her nose.

" _Ohnonono_ \- Molly, I'msosorry!" Tweek reaches out for her, to take care of her, comfort her, anything, but her eyes go wide and she backs up out of his reach.

"Tweek?" Red calls from upstairs, "What's going on?" He can hear her climbing down the stairs as quickly as possible, her voice jittery, "I heard screaming-" She freezes at the landing, her eyes glued to Molly, particularly her bloody nose.

"Red, I-"

"What did you do." Red's seething as she hurries over to grab Molly, wiping her nose with her sleeve as gently as possible. "She's bleeding, Tweek- what the _hell_ did you do!?"

"Ididn'tmeanto! I didn't know she was behind me- Molly, areyouokay!?" He reaches out for her again, but she flinches, recoiling into her mothers embrace like a scared baby animal hiding from it's natural predator.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Do me a favor and try not to hit my fucking kids the next time you flail your arms around," Red hisses, turning on her heel to take Molly up to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

He couldn't bring himself to say anything back to her after that. He didn't mean to hit Molly, he hated knowing that he did but it didn't matter whether it was on purpose or not. It still happened and ever since then, Molly's kept her distance from him, making her preference for Red extremely clear.

It took her thinking she was knocking on deaths door to hug Tweek of her own free will and he'll never forgive himself for putting that distance in between them.

Tweek couldn't even get his relationship with his own daughter right.

 **THURSDAY**

It's barely seven thirty in the morning when Jimmy calls but Tweek answers anyway, already wide awake.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tweek," Jimmy greets, "I'm having some of the guys over today, do you think you could come too? I haven't reh-ruh..rah...really gotten a chance to talk to you yet."

"Oh," a pang of guilt hits Tweek as he thinks about just how long it's been since he's talked to Jimmy. God, he's an awful friend. "I'm sorrymanIjust- um, yeah, yeah. I can come. What time?"

"After you drop your kids off at school?"

"Yeah, that works," Tweek agrees, nodding his head although Jimmy can't see it.

"Alright, cuh-coh-c-c-c….cool. See ya then, puh-pal."

Jimmy hangs up and Tweek sighs, setting his phone down.

Craig was probably going to be there.

They hadn't seen each other since the baseball tryouts.

A small part of Tweek is nervous to see him again, considering what happened the last time they were together but an even bigger part is excited. It's like every time they're separated Tweek goes through some sort of Craig withdrawal, like he's missing a big chunk of himself.

Or no, maybe that's not true.

Tweek has never really felt like a complete person, but he'd never been entirely dependent on Craig.

Sure, being friends gave him more confidence and motivated him to help himself, but that didn't mean Tweek couldn't function without Craig. He'd already managed thirteen years, after all.

He just would rather not go that long again.

It's hard to explain. Everything Tweek comes up with just doesn't seem to fit, it makes him seem entirely dependent on Craig or addicted to to him, and okay, maybe he _is_ a little addicted but in the same way someone's addicted to the internet. Or something.

 _I'm not even making sense now._

Craig made him happier. Even Molly had seen that.

It was nice being around Craig- Tweek never felt like he was annoying him or holding him back (Except for that one thing, but Tweek would rather not think about that right now). He just felt…. Natural.

 _Natural._

 _That's a good word._

 _Everything feels natural with Craig._

He must look giddy when he drops Molly and Blue off at school because they both look at him funny before getting out of the car.

Token and Clyde's cars are already parked in Jimmy's driveway when he gets there, one of those stick figure family stickers on Clyde's back window. Most people found those annoying and unnecessary but Tweek thought it was sweet in a way, even if he himself would never do it.

He only has to knock once before Jimmy pulls the door open, grinning like he's pleasantly surprised. And maybe he is.

"Come on in, Tuh-Tweek," Jimmy insists, closing the door behind them when he complies.

Token and Clyde sit side by side on the couch, inspecting something on Clyde's phone, when Tweek awkwardly seats himself next to them, fidgeting a bit. They both blink and seem to glance up in sync, Token's lips curling into a friendly smile. "Hey Tweek, good to see you again," he says warmly, clapping Tweek's back.

Tweek offers him a timid smile in return, annoyed at how anxious he still feels around them.

 _You've known them since preschool, chill out._

"It's good toseeyouguys too."

Clyde leans forward a bit, his elbows on his knees as he quirks an eyebrow at Tweek, "Where'd you and Craig run off to last time?"

"What?"

"You guys bailed on us last week, where'd you go?"

Tweek blushes, remembering what happened after Craig had run out after him, and clears his throat, preparing himself to lie. "I was feeling a little anxious since it's been so long and all- So Craig calmed me down and walked me home." There. Not a complete lie.

"Ohhh. Alright, cool. I mean-! Not cool that you got anxious, but-" 

Token elbows Clyde to shut him up, the latter letting out an _oomph!_ When struck and rubbing his side. "We understand, Tweek," Token says, totally buying it.

"I was just guh-going to get the guys some water," Jimmy says, still standing and smiling that dorky smile he's had since the fourth grade, "You want suh-s-s-s...some coffee, Tweek?"

Tweek shakes his head, running his hands over his shirt and trying to focus on smoothing it out. "No, no...I don't drink coffee anymore."

"Seriously?" Jimmy raises his eyebrows, looking impressed. "Good for you, Tuh-Tweek! I'll get you a water too, then." He winks at him, patting his arm and walking away.

Clyde jumps to his feet, tailing after him, "I'll give ya a hand, Jimothy." 

They disappear into the kitchen together laughing and Tweek feels itchy.

 _Relax_ , he tells himself. _They're not talking bad about you. They're just messing around with each other._

"So, uh. Tweek," Token says, breaking the small silence that had developed. His so sounds a lot like Red's so and it makes Tweek wary. He says nothing, only turning to look at Token which must be enough, because he continues, "Dana told me you haven't been doing so well headwise."

"Dana?"

"My daughter? She's in the same grade as Molly."

"Oh. Right, right."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So are you okay?"

Tweek chews his lip, thinking of how to answer that. All he can come up with is, "I don't know," which Token doesn't seem to like because he frowns.

"You were doing so good before," Token sighs and it makes Tweek flinch to hear the disappointment in his tone. He'd always cared so much about what his friends thought. It sucked to think he'd let one of them down. "What happened, Tweek?"

What happened? He tried to be something he wasn't, that's what happened.

That's probably not the wise answer here though, but before Tweek can think of anything else, he's saved by a knock on the door.

Jimmy pads over to the door, Clyde following and distributing the water bottles while Jimmy opens the door.

"Hey Cuh-Craig! Hey Timtim!"

"Jimmy!"

"Hey man."

Tweek drops his gaze to the floor, fighting not to lift his head and stare at Craig.

The sound of the wheels of Timmy's electric wheelchair scraping against the ground are accompanied by Craig's heavy footsteps and Tweek's heart nearly stops when he feels Craig sit down next to him, nudging him with his elbow.

"Hey," Craig greets softly.

Tweek turns his head to face him, gulping. "Hey."

"Hey," Clyde chimes in, plopping down right in the middle of them and throwing an arm over each of their shoulders.

Craig shoves him playfully, earning an offended gasp in return.

Token rolls his eyes, "God, you guys never change."

"Neither do you, _father_ ," Clyde teases, getting Craig to laugh.

"I thought Token was our muh-mah-mommy?"

"Nah, that's Nichole. Token's our daddy," Clyde coos.

"And Clyde's still the big baby of the family," Token shoots back, making Jimmy go _'oooooo, burnnnn.'_

"I am not!" Clyde objects, setting a hand over his heart like he's been horribly disrespected.

"What was I again? Didn't you guys say I was the kid that wound up in juvi?" Craig asks.

"You were," Jimmy confirms, "But now you're the brother that leaves home and never wruh-writes."

Craig nods in acceptance, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"And Tweek's the one that was supposed to be in jail with you because of his kleptomaniac tendencies-"

"I only stole fromthemall that _one_ time!"

"-but turned his life around after meeting _The One_."

Clyde makes a rainbow with his hands at the last part, batting his eyelashes. Jimmy, Timmy and Token crack up laughing, but Craig doesn't and neither does Tweek. They glance at each other and Tweek sees the hurt in Craig's eyes and all he wants to do is pull him aside and tell him that Clyde doesn't know what he's talking about.

But he can't do that.

" _We can't do that. Jenny made me promise that I would try to um. Fix our marriage."_

Tweek unscrews the lid off of his water bottle and takes a swig.

"Now that everyone's here," Jimmy sits down next to Token, pulling out of his crutches. "We can talk about plans for my wedding."

"We've gotta take you to Vegas for your bachelor party," Clyde blurts out excitedly.

Jimmy grins, pointing a finger at him eagerly like he's one hundred percent on board with this idea and says, "No."

"Aw Jimmy! Why nooooot?"

"Because I've wah-wuh...wuh-...w-watched all three _Hangover_ movies and I get the feeling if we went, we'd guh-geh-give those guys a run for their money."

"He's not wrong," Craig agrees in a deadpan voice.

"Timmy!"

Jimmy nods in agreement with his best friend, "Exactly, TimTim and I figured it'd be beh..buh….best to keep it simple. Maybe just a guh-guys night."

"Jimmyyy," Clyde pouts, "That's so boooooooring. When did you get so boring. You're supposed to be the fun one. Craig's the boring one. You're stealing his job, man."

Craig nods glumly, sighing dramatically, "Yeah Jim, how am I supposed to feed my family now?"

"Says the guh-guy that didn't even ha-...huh..haugh..." Jimmy takes a deep breath before finishing, "have a bachelor party."

All eyes suddenly turn to Craig, Clyde crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hey yeah, _Craig_. What gives?"

Token rolls his his eyes, "Oh lay off him, Clyde. You didn't have one either. None of us have."

Craig raises an eyebrow at this, "You didn't have one either, Token?"

Token shakes his head and Clyde whips his head around to glare at Jimmy, spreading his arms out, "See Jimmy, none of us had one. We gotta live through you now."

"Why me? Live through Timmy or Kevin when they have a ba-buh..bachelor party."

Timmy makes a face at this, letting out a very displeased, "Timmy..."

"Or Kevin's. Keh-kuh..k-ka...Kevin's good," Jimmy amends, putting his hands up in a ' _my bad'_ gesture.

"Aw, what? Timmy, you don't want us to live through you?" Clyde pouts, looking offended.

Timmy shakes his head as Jimmy clarifies, "No, Tim doesn't want to get m-mah-muh...married at all."

There's a moment of silence before Craig goes, "I can respect that," bobbing his head all impressed like. To Tweek, it looks like he's rapping inside of his head or something like that and it makes him laugh. Leave it to Craig to be funny without even trying.

Craig steals a quick glance at Tweek when Token and Clyde start questioning Timmy on why he doesn't want to tie the knot, and Tweek's heart skips a beat when he sees the light blush on Craig's cheeks. The look on Craig's face is a toned down version of what he'd seen the night they confessed to having feelings for each other and it makes Tweek want to jump right over Clyde and kiss him again, he looks so cute, but he holds himself back.

Craig isn't his to kiss.

He's Jennys.

In hindsight, maybe Tweek never should've done it in the first place, never should've told him how he really felt. In the end, it had only made things more difficult for Craig and every higher power in existence knows that was the last thing Tweek had wanted.

But there's still a tiny, selfish part of him that's glad to have done it.

Now he knows for sure that Craig liked him in that way- oh wow, now he knew what it was like to _kiss_ Craig, what it was like to be in his arms in a purposefully romantic way.

Just thinking about it makes his cheeks heat up, the memories of Craig's lips against his still fresh and clear.

 _Craig's such a good kisser…_

"Earth to Tweek Tweak!" Clyde nearly shouts, snapping his fingers in front of Tweek's face. Flinching in surprise, Tweek blinks hard, shaking his head as if pulling himself back to reality. _Stop thinking about Craig like that, it's over._ Clyde huffs, "Dude, I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes, where you at?"

"Oh, sorry!" he squeaks, "I guess I spaced out. What did you say?"

"I said, don't you agree I should be Jimmy's best man?"

Tweek blinks.

"Shouldn't thathonorgo to Timmy?"

"Exactly!" Jimmy says, Timmy now right next to him. "See Cuh-Clyde? Tweek gets it. Tuh...teh...Timtim is going to be my buh-beh-best man and that's final."

"Traitor!" Clyde declares, sounding and looking horribly offended as Jimmy and Timmy fist bump each other, sharing a conspiring smile.

"Dang Jim," Craig complains, his voice deadpan, "You didn't even consider me. I'm hurt, man."

"You were ah-aw...ahhh...all...already the b-best man at Tweek's wedding, Cuh-Craig. Don't be guh-greedy."

Fuckfuckfuck. Tweek had forgotten all about that.

 _God, I'm so shitty. Why did I make him do that?_

"I will be greedy," Craig retorts, sounding unfazed, "I have to be the best man at _all_ the weddings, Jimmy, you're ruining my dream."

"You sick bastard," Clyde says, squinting at him.

Jimmy snickers as Token rolls his eyes, saying, "You guys are such babies, you don't see me and Tweek complaining."

"You know what, Clyde?" Craig says, completely ignoring Token, "Let's get him back. Let's divorce our wives and remarry them so we can redo our weddings. You'll be my best man and I'll be yours."

Clyde slaps his knee, his eyes lighting up like this is the best plan he's ever heard in his whole life, "I'm down!"

"Dang," Jimmy says so seriously that it takes Tweek a second to realize he's joking, "that'll really sha-show me, you guys..."

The conversation carries on like that until it's time to go, Token and Clyde leaving first for work with Tweek and Craig following soon after.

They walk shoulder to shoulder, saying nothing until Tweek notices something.

"….Dude, where's your car?" he asks, looking around. Panic suddenly rises in his chest, his hands flying to his hair, "Ohshitman! Did someone steal yourcar!? I don't see it anywhe-"

He's cut off by Craig gently removing his hands from his hair, stroking them with his thumbs as he moves them to Tweek's sides, a soft smile on his face. "I walked here. South Park's small enough for that and….I dunno. I guess I just missed being able to walk everywhere," he clarifies with a half shrug and a crooked grin that makes Tweek melt.

"….You know your legs are gonna be really sore tomorrow, right?" Tweek points out, shattering the mood.

He wants to laugh at the rapid change in Craig's expression, his eyes going cartoonishly wide with realization. "I swear I didn't even think of that-"

"Let me give you a ride home."

…

At first, it's a little awkward in the car, both of them silent as a mouse and if it was any one but Craig, it would make Tweek anxious.

But since it is Craig, he knows exactly how to repair the situation.

"You walked across town to get to Jimmy's house," he teases, unable to contain the shit eating grin that spread across his face.

Craig laughs, trying to defend himself, "I was having a nostalgic movie moment, leave me alone."

Tweek raises an eyebrow, "A nostalgic movie moment?"

Craig nods. "You know, when the main character comes home after a long time and he starts looking at all his old stuff and walking around and just remembering things. That's what I was doing," he explains, sounding wistful.

"What did you remember…?"

"How shitty this town is."

They both burst into laughter at the seriousness in Craig's tone, both of them easing into their old back and forth like it's second nature.

"Hey, by the way," Craig says when they've recovered, "I've been wondering- do you still box?"

Oh. Shit.

Tweek shakes his head, frowning.

The atmosphere in the car shifts, Craig's voice sounding softer when he asks his followup question, "Why not?"

If it were anyone else, Tweek would tell them to mind their own business or lie to them.

But it's Craig.

He takes a deep breath.

"My mental health took a nosedive. I just didn't see the point anymore."

Craig says nothing for a while after that, and Tweek worries that maybe he scared him off with that depressing comment but then Craig speaks up again, "Do you still talk to Dogpoo and Tripply?"

….Well, that came out of left field.

"I haven't talked to them in ages," Tweek answers truthfully, curious as to why Craig's asking.

"Do you ever miss them?"

"Sometimes."

There's a slight pause, and then, "Why don't you reach out to them?"

Tweek bites his lower lip, "Oh...wow, that. No, that'd be too awkward. And probably pointless. Plus, agh, waytoomuchpressure!- You know?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Craig nod in understanding. Craig's such a nodder, Tweek notes. They pull up to his house and Tweek suddenly feels empty again, wanting to kick himself for not taking the long way.

Craig hesitates before getting out, and then he locks eyes with Tweek. "Well, you never know," he says. "You were really close to them before. Maybe they miss you too."

When Craig gets out, Tweek watches him walk to his house, wondering if his words have any double meaning. He also notices that this is the first time he's had to worry about that with Craig and wonders what else might've changed about him.

Then again, Craig usually said exactly what he meant.

Yeah. Yeah, he's probably just worried about Tweek.

In a friendly way.

That has to be it.

…

They're ten and his friends are starting to notice a change in him.

"You know, Tweek, you didn't call me last night," Tripply brings up in the middle of a conversation that has nothing to do with calling people. He looks like an accusing boyfriend, his eyes narrowed as he folds his arms over his chest. "I waited for twenty minutes and then I tried to call you but the line was busy."

"GAH!" Tweek squeaks, rubbing a hand over his chest. "I'm sorry! I was on the phone with Craig!"

"Again?" Francis asks with a raised eyebrow, his mouth full of food.

Tripply makes a face at this display, but says nothing, opting to interrogate Tweek instead. "That's the eleventh night in a row."

"I know!" Tweek says, sounding pleased with himself, "I can't believe it. I thought he'd be mean or boring or something, but he's so much fun to talk to and it's like we never run out of things to talk about- And he's so direct, but not in like a bad way? Like, I don't ever worry about the things he says, he's so blunt. Unless he's messing with me, but he always apologizes right after and it's usually little things- _Oh_! Did I tell you his theory about Area 51? He's so smart when it comes to this stuff, I don't know why I didn't talk to him sooner-"

Tripply and Dogpoo share a look as Tweek rambles on excitedly about his new friend, seeming to communicate something telepathically, but it's Francis that decides to cut him off.

"Why've ya been hanging around Tucker so much lately anyway?" he asks, sounding a little annoyed.

Tweek blinks hard, considering the question before shrugging. "I dunno. I guess we just….click."

The four of them stare at him blankly for a few long moments before Jason speaks up.

"You're cheating on me," he accuses, folding his arms over his chest as Dogpoo shakes his head disapprovingly in the background.

" _What!?"_ Tweek nearly shouts, _"No!_ I'm not! I'd never cheat on anybody! _Oh man_ , that would be too much pressure, I-!"

"Tweek, breathe!" Tripply interrupts, shooting Jason a glare. "You guys have to stop picking on him like that! You know he takes it to heart!"

"I'm sorry!" Tweek whines, turning to Jason with a pleading expression on his face, "Please don't be mad at me, Jason!"

Jason laughs, feeling just a little guilty for causing his best friend so much panic and shakes his head, "I'm just yankin' your chain, buddy. I know I'm your favorite, don't worry."

Tweek breathes a sigh of relief, sharing a happy smile with Jason. Back then, Jason had been the person he couldn't imagine losing, a seemingly permanent fixture in his life. Sure, they weren't together 24/7 and got mad at each other every two weeks, but they were still best friends. Most of their spats didn't even get resolved by an apology, Jason would just knock on Tweek's door and ask if he wanted to go throw rocks at the pond and they'd be good again.

Tweek and Jason, the unbreakable duo.

Older Tweek finds it painfully funny that they haven't talked in over twenty years.

…

" _I know I'm your favorite, don't worry"_

Older Tweek wonders if Jason took that back the day he chose to hang out with Craig and those guys rather than see him off.

He honestly didn't mean to miss Jason leaving, really.

It was just that Craig invited him over to play video games and Tweek forgot that he already had plans that day, so he'd said yes.

He'd only remembered at the last second, when Jimmy and Token had gotten into an argument over whether Jason Voorhees was better than Freddy Krueger.

"Jason!" Tweek gasped, jumping to his feet and rushing to the door.

Craig whipped his head around, quirking an eyebrow, "You good, Tweek?"

"Yeah!" Tweek called back, hurriedly yanking his shoes on, "I just forgot to do something! I'll be right back!"

He'd sprinted ten blocks to Jason's house, just in time to see that the driveway was empty save for three very upset boys.

Francis is the first one to call out to him, but it isn't friendly, "Nice of you to show up."

Tweek flinches at the harsh tone in his voice, speaking out of reflex, "I'm so sorry-"

"Sorry doesn't fix this Tweek," Francis snapped, his eyes red like he'd been crying, "Jason was really sad that his _best friend_ wasn't here to say goodbye, how could you do that to him?"

"I forgot!" Tweek explains weakly, wringing his hands.

"Forgot?" Francis repeats incredulously, "How the heck do you forget something like this?"

Beside him, Dogpoo pulls face, "Did you just say heck?"

Tweek had began shaking then, feeling completely awful. Francis was right to yell at him, Jason was supposed to be his best friend and he let him down. After years of Jason putting up with him, even when no one else would, he didn't even bother to show up the one day Jason needed him.

"Hey, hey, Fran, calm down," Tripply, forever playing peacemaker, concedes, sliding in the middle of them, palms up, "Stuff happens, Jason will get over it."

Older Tweek doesn't remember much after that, though he does vaguely recall a play by play of Jason's departure.

What he does remember is a month and a half later, when fifth grade started and he let them down all over again, walking right past their lunch table to sit with Craig and his friends instead.

It goes on like that for weeks before Tripply confronts him about it, catching up to him after school. He's alone and Tweek can't help but think that Tripply seems naked without Dogpoo. Seeing them without each other had been pretty rare back then- And in the present too, now that they were together- so he figures it must be pretty serious if Tripply's stepping out of routine.

"Tweek, hey, I'm glad I caught you," Tripply pants, having run after him. Tweek nods, offering a shy little smile and Tripply forces a weak one in response. They walk in awkward silence for a bit before Tripply sighs, asking, "Tweek, how come you don't sit with us anymore?"

 _Oh no, oh no,_ Tweek stresses to himself, chewing his lower lip.

"Crap, I'm sorry! It's just- Craig asked metositwith him and his friends so I did and….and..." He watches the look on Tripply's face change from vague curiosity to slight disappointment and realization. Tweek doesn't have to finish his sentence for his friend to figure out what's going on. His eyebrows furrow together as he meekly asks, "Are Francis and Dogpoo mad…?"

Tripply lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders drooping. "Francis doesn't sit with us anymore either.. He'd rather hang out with Kevin and Bradley."

It surprises Tweek a bit to hear that, he'd never thought of Francis of the nerdy type, but then again he never thought he'd be hanging around Craig's gang so he guesses he shouldn't be too surprised.

People can change just like the weather sometimes, just the week before they'd been sweating in class and today it felt like they were all going to get frostbite, it was just that cold. As if on cue, a gust of wind blows past the two of them and he shudders, Tripply pulling up his scarf to cover the lower half of his face.

"W...What about D-Dogpoo..?" Tweek asks through chattering teeth, suddenly regretting his choice to wear nothing over his button up.

Tripply sighs behind his scarf, lowering it from his mouth so his words won't be muffled, "Dogpoo's a _little_ upset...but he thinks you'll still make time for us, so he's not _too_ mad."

Tweek breathes a sigh of relief and decides not to take this second chance for granted. It might be too late to salvage his friendship with Francis and Jason, but he can still keep Tripply and Dogpoo if he puts a little more effort in.

And so he does.

At least once a week after that, he makes it a point to sit with them at lunch. And it's enough until they hit sixth grade, when Dogpoo and Tripply call him out on never hanging out with them outside of school anymore.

Dogpoo's more adamant about it than Tripply is, pouting whenever Tweek says no and giving him the silent treatment when he stands them up. He's always over it within the week, just in time for the cycle to repeat itself.

Tripply's a little more understanding.

"That's okay, Tweek! There's always next time!" he'd always say with the most patient smile Tweek had ever seen painted on his face. Unlike Dogpoo, Tripply didn't want to hear Tweek's endless apologies and excuses for not hanging out with them. All Tripply wanted was for Tweek to be there for the big moments.

Like Tripply's twelfth birthday party.

Tripply had really wanted Tweek to be there for that.

"You're coming for sure, right?" he'd asked a few days before at the lunch table, buzzing with excitement. A huge grin broke out on his face when Tweek nodded in affirmation and he looked like he wanted to jump over the table and give him a huge bear hug. "Awesome! Francis is gonna come too, so we'll all be together again! I mean, plus Kevin, Bradley and Scott but- ah, all of my best friends are gonna be together. The only one we're missing is Jason!"

His voice falters a little at the end, the light from his eyes dimming a bit and Dogpoo shares a look with Tweek before saying, "Four out of five of us isn't that bad, though. We'll still have a good time, Trip."

He sets a dirt covered hand on Tripply's shoulder and squeezes, earning a small smile from him.

"Yeah, you're right," Tripply agrees, looking from him to Tweek. "At least you guys will be there."

 _At least you guys will be there._

Older Tweek still thumps himself for this, his inner voice screeching, _inconsiderate! Inconsiderate! Inconsiderate! Lousy friend, lousy friend, lousy person!_

You might've guessed it by now, but Tweek didn't go to Tripply's birthday party.

It was held on a Friday at 6 pm, and on that Friday he and Craig had been walking home together, discussing movie plots and how they could so totally make a better one.

"Just- Do you ever have an idea for a movie and you're like 'I don't want to make this, I want to watch this' but you know that's probably not gonna happen so you just sit there all pissy?" Craig asks, taking care to avoid stepping over a crack on the sidewalk.

Tweek appreciates this small detail, he likes Laura Tucker and he definitely wouldn't want her breaking her back, he'd told Craig so, and nods his head vigorously in agreement, "Yeah! Or withbookstoo!"

"Or video games."

"Or TV shows!"

Craig bumps shoulders with Tweek, flashing a quick smile at him. He'd just gotten his braces and Tweek still felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the colors Craig had picked.

"Green and blue, because your favorite color is green and mine is blue," Craig had explained nonchalantly, like this was no big deal. "I thought about getting red and blue or red and green for you and Clyde but Jimmy said red makes it look like your teeth are bleeding so."

Craig was already cute with braces, the added factor of the colors just made the whole thing even better to Tweek.

"So hey, speaking of movies," Craig spoke slowly, a touch of nervousness in his tone, "You wanna go see X-Men tonight? I'll pay for your ticket."

 _That sounds like a date!_ Tweek had thought, hope pumping through his veins.

"Who else is going..?" he asked cautiously, his fingers crossed that he wasn't imagining the slight pink in Craig's cheeks.

"I was thinking it'd just be the two of us," Craig says, "but if you want to invite more people-"

"No!" Tweek blurts out, his face reddening when he realizes how desperate he must look. "No, um. Just thetwoofus is cool with me."

Craig grants him that dorky grin again, "Cool. So meet up in like an hour?"

"Yeah, yeah! That sounds good!" he says, smiling back, Tripply's birthday party the last thing on his mind.

He only remembers the following Monday, when Tripply pulls him aside before school to talk about something.

"I think it's time we stopped being friends," he says when Tweek's finished explaining himself, a sense of finality in his tone.

Tweek opens his mouth to protest, because _no_! He didn't mean to forget, can't Tripply just give him just one more shot?

Tripply holds up a hand to silence him, continuing, ""I guess we've been headed here for a while. I was really pissed at first- And hurt, because you're one of my best friends, you know? But if you don't have fun with me anymore, then I don't want you to feel pressure to be around me. I'm sorry Tweek, it was nice."

And with that, he walks away, probably to find Dogpoo, leaving Tweek to curse himself.

 _Way to go, Tweak._ _You messed it up with another one._

…

Tweek thinks that after Tripply cuts him off, Dogpoo will too but it doesn't happen.

Which is strange, to say the least, since he'd always pictured them as a package deal but he's not complaining.

They don't spend too much time together but they still message each other online and work together as partners in the classes they have together. It's obvious that Dogpoo still prefers Tripply- and now Tweek knows why- but he still finds time for Tweek, insisting that they keep the 'magic' alive.

He apparently changes his mind about this in ninth grade, when Red and Tweek play matchmaker for Tripply and Emily.

"Oh come on, Tweek!" Red had pushed, "You can't tell me you don't have a friend for Emily, quit holding out on me!"

For weeks, Red had been trying to help Emily find a homecoming date because apparently she refused to go alone because that was "a total loser thing to do" and so far, no dice. Kenny was too handsy for Emily, Calvin too sporty, Bradley too dorky.

"I don't know what she likes," Tweek defended, drumming his fingers against the table, "So I don'tknowwho would be a good match."

"I'll tell ya what she likes. Mature boys- which sucks for her, because that's tough to find in South Park- and they've gotta be nice and smart enough to keep up with her. She's kind of a perfectionist, she's got this planner thing and I swear, she plans things down to the second-"

"Wait, really?" Tweek interrupted, a lightbulb flashing above his head, "I think I know someone shemightlike then!"

"Really?!" Red asked excitedly, tugging on Tweek's arm, "Who?"

"Tripply! He makes lists, we used tomakefun of him for it. And he's really patient."

"You think he'd go for her?"

Tweek thinks on it for a second.

In all his years of knowing Tripply, he'd never seen him show much interest in girls- _and now he knows why_ \- but Emily was smart, nice and super pretty.

"I think so," he said, "She might have to make the first move though."

Red whipped her head around so fast Tweek was surprised it didn't crack, "EMILY! C'MERE!"

Emily bounced to her feet, saying something to her friends before making her way over to Tweek and Red, plopping herself down on the bench across from them.

"What's up?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"We found you a man," Red said bluntly, making Tweek cough.

Emily's eyebrows rose in interest, "Who?"

"Do you know who Tripply is?"

" _Really_?" Emily practically squealed, "Oh my gosh, he is _so_ cute! Are you sure?"

Red nodded her head eagerly, "Totally! You just have to make the first move, Tweek says."

Emily snuck a quick glance at Tripply, who sat a few tables away, completely oblivious to what was going to happen.

"I can do that," Emily decided, biting down on her lower lip in anticipation.

And she did do that.

Only a week later and Tripply and Emily were quickly becoming the grossest couple in South Park.

She sat on his lap at every given chance, they kissed each other passionately during passing period like they were never going to see each other again. They just couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other.

"They were practically fucking in front of my locker this morning," Annie had complained to Red once, like it was her fault for setting them up.

That's how it was; The girls blamed Red and the boys blamed Tweek.

Especially Dogpoo, who started avoiding him around the time Tripply and Emily started sucking face on a regular basis.

Back then, Tweek couldn't figure out why Dogpoo seemed so upset with him but now it's glaringly obvious. Especially when he thinks of Dogpoo's parting words.

After about a month of Dogpoo being distant, Tweek gathers the courage to confront him. He could already feel himself shaking before he even went up to Dogpoo, but he wasn't going to back down now. Dogpoo Petuski was his last friend from childhood, he wasn't going to let all of that go so easily.

He finds Dogpoo down at Starks Pond, staring out at the icy lake with a glassy gaze, his knees hugged to his chest. His hair is messy as usual but for once, he looks like he put some effort into cleaning up.

He looks small, like he did when they were little and Tweek feels nostalgic.

Dogpoo Petuski had never been one for too many words, unless the situation absolutely called for it, so Tweek sits next to him silently, deciding if he gets up that'll be all the closure they need.

For a split second, nobody moves or says anything, but then Tweek hears it.

Dogpoo breathes out a shaky sigh, sounding heartbroken when he says softly, "You know how I feel about him."

This catches Tweek off guard. Huh? "What?" he squeaks, turning his head so he can look at Dogpoo. His stomach turns at what he sees; Dogpoo's eyes are red and puffy, like he'd been crying. "What areyoutalkingabout?"

Dogpoo pinches his eyes shut, like he's in pain, "Don't play dumb, Tweek. You knew. You can't just fuck yourself up, you've gotta drag me down with you."

"Dogpoo- _Freddy_ ," he switches to his actual name, like that'll make a difference, like it'll show him just how sorry Tweek is, "that's not what- I don't even know what you're talking about!"

Even without knowing what he's done wrong, Tweek can see there's no fixing this in the way Dogpoo's chest is heaving, tears starting to stream down his face again. He wipes them away with the heel of his hand, trying to calm himself and then he stands, not even looking at Tweek when he says, "Just don't talk to me anymore, okay?"

And that was that.

The end of their friend group.

Jason lived in San Francisco now, Francis found a new friend group in Kevin and Bradley, Tripply had a girlfriend and he'd made Dogpoo cry.

If there's any wisdom Older Tweek has gained from this, it's that friendships are more important than most people would think.

There were thousands of angsty love songs talking about how awful it felt to lose a lover, plenty of movies that followed tragic love stories.

No one told him a best friend breakup could be just as painful.

 **FRIDAY**

Molly's only three years old and he and Red don't resent each other yet.

It's a nice day out for snowy South Park so they took her to the playground so she could socialize with the other little kids. Her hair's tied in two loose pigtails, a baggy t-shirt on underneath her overalls and Tweek swears she's the cutest one there.

He also can't believe she's already walking.

"Molly's been growing up so fast.." he tells Red, keeping his eyes glued to Molly's small, excited form, "She told me she loves me the other day."

Red beams, always thrilled to talk about her baby girl's development, "Me too! And she colors- Shit Tweek, our baby's so talented, I'm so proud of her."

"I know," Tweek agrees, not even bothering to point out that Molly hardly ever colors inside the lines- or inside the coloring book for that matter, "She has the sweetest little voice, have you heard her sing?"

Red sets her hand over her chest, sighing dreamily, "Yes. What an icon." There's so much love and warmth in her eyes when she watches Molly that even in the present, when Tweek isn't her biggest fan, he's still grateful his kids have a mother like her. "She's super cute too," Red adds.

Tweek nods in agreement and then he sees it.

A little boy shoves Molly to the ground but before either of them can jump to the rescue, Molly stands back up and returns the push with a little pout, huffing when she stomps away.

Tweek smiles proudly and Red laughs, saying what's on both their minds, "That's my girl!"

"Looks like she takesafteryou, huh?" Tweek says, bumping their shoulders together.

Red grins, "Hell yeah! She's a true Tucker! Man, I hope she keeps this up when she's older. Boys can be nasty, you know? And she's so _pretty_ \- We'll end up beating up her boyfriend when he fucks up."

Tweek cringes at the thought of Molly having a mean boyfriend, no way, nuh uh, not happening. "What if she's ace or aro?"

"That'd be great," Red says, "I'll love her no matter what."

"What if Molly likes girls?"

Red gets quiet then, a faroff look in her eyes.

After a while, she mumbles, "Then I hope she never has to know what it feels like to be in love with a straight girl."

Back then he wasn't sure what that had meant.

But now he does.

Now he does.

…

It's a slow day at the coffee shop and Tweek wonders what metaphor his father would have for this.

It's hard not to think about Richard Tweak, especially when there's a picture of him hanging on the wall. He sees it every morning when he opens up and every night when he closes. There's no escaping it permanently. Sure, Tweek could take the picture down, but that didn't seem right to him.

" _Tweek, you'll learn as you get older that not all of your friends are permanent. More often than not, you'll grow out of each other and find a fresh batch of friends to goof around with. It's a fact of life, son."_

Those words had haunted him for a long time.

He hated that it was true, hated that he'd ruined his friendships with Dogpoo, Tripply, and Francis. Maybe his life would've turned out a little differently if he'd been a better friend to them. A better friend to everyone, in fact.

He's pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the bell at the door ring to announce someone's arrival.

Thinking it's just a customer, he pulls on his best customer service face and turns to greet them, only to see that it's his mother.

Her old apron is tied around her waist and she offers him a tight smile before getting behind the counter and shuffling around, going back to her old routine like she hadn't stayed away from the place in all the years since his dad died.

They work in silence other than to give each other orders and when noon comes around, Cindy tells Tweek to go ahead and take the rest of the day off.

"Mom, are you sure..?"

He fidgets with the strings to his apron, watching her with careful eyes.

Cindy laughs, waving her hand toward the door, "Go, go. Spend some time with your kids. I can handle this."

Something in her tone reminds him of his childhood, when she'd say _'go, go. Play with your friends, your father and I can handle this.'_

In a way, this doesn't feel any different than back then.

Sliding into the drivers seat of his car, he finds himself smiling. It looked like his mother was finally getting back to normal.

…

He's more than a little surprised when he goes to pick his kids up from school and sees a third child climb into the backseat.

Molly and Blue both kept to themselves, though there were those rare occasions when someone would invite them over. This might be the first time they were the ones bringing someone over.

It's a little less surprising when he sees who it is.

"Dad, it's okay for Trish to come over, right?" Molly asks casually, reaching over Trish's lap to lock the door.

Trish stares at him silently, reminding him a little of Craig when he was faced with awkward situations.

"Um," Tweek stammers, squeezing the wheel, "Yeah! I don'tseewhy not!"

Molly and Trish both grin at this and it's at this point that Tweek notices that Trish is the spitting image of Jenny. No doubt her age group would be just as charmed by what they'll probably call her famous Trish-Tucker-smile just like they were with Jenny's Jenny-Simon-smile.

He also notices that other than her mannerisms and height, she barely takes after Craig at all. Her milky chocolate brown eyes are much wider than Craig's narrowed icy blue. When he thinks on it, they don't even match Jenny's dark brown catlike gaze.

Weird.

Once they're home, Molly all but drags Trish into her bedroom, slamming the door shut to keep out any unwanted guests.

Tweek thinks that this must be the best day ever for Blue because he doesn't have to fight Molly for the remote or worry about her making fun of him for whatever conspiracy theory he's currently got his mind on, but after twenty minutes of listening to Blue sigh deeply from the living room, he figures he must be wrong.

Blue looks bored out of his mind, fidgeting a bit as he slumps farther into the couch, a tiny pout on his face.

 _Well, well,well,_ Tweek thinks with a sly smirk, _look who's lonely without his sister._

He ends up sitting at the table with Tweek, spouting off about lizard people or something of the like, and like always, Tweek pays rapt attention, only breaking away when someone knocks on the door.

"It's the FBI, they heard me!" Blue squeaks, crawling under the table and yanking his tinfoil hat on.

Tweek almost crawls under with him until he remembers that he's the Adult™️ and therefore he has to be the hero and open the door.

He slowly inches his way across the living room, debating on whether or not to bring Red's baseball bat with him, which he ultimately decides against because if it is the FBI, it probably isn't a good idea to greet them with a bat in hand, and yanks the door open with shaky fingers, ready to get it over with.

"Hey!" A familiar voice that definitely does not belong to a member of the FBI says, sounding slightly out of breath, "I'm sorry to bug you, man, but is Trish here?"

It's Craig.

Tweek takes in his disheveled appearance with a quirked eyebrow; Craig looked like Tweek did on a regular basis, anxious and shaky. "Yeah, she's upstairswithMolly," he confirms, tilting his head a bit when he follows up with, "Did Trish nottellyou she was coming over?"

"As a matter of fact, she did not," Craig pouts a bit when he says this and Tweek almost laughs at how childish he looks. "Well, that's a load off my shoulders. I thought she got snatched up or something-"

"Do you want to come in?" Tweek blabs before he can stop himself, saying it so loud it makes Craig jump.

Craig hesitates for a second, biting his lip like he's deep in thought and then he nods, stepping inside of Tweek's house.

"Blue!" Tweek calls, leading Craig to the kitchen table. He kneels down, lifting up the tablecloth to see his tiny son crouching down with his knees hugged to his chest. "It's not the FBI, it's just Craig."

"How do you know it's not the FBI _disguised_ as Craig?" Blue shoots back.

Somewhere behind him, Craig mutters, "Crap, he's on to me," and Tweek smiles, happy to hear that Craig hasn't changed all that much.

"He can't be the FBI if he's already a guinea pig robot, Blue," Tweek says like this should have been an obvious fact.

"A guinea pig robot?"

"Tweek, what the fu-..heck?" Craig complains, swatting Tweeks arm lightly, "How could you give me away like that?"

Blue shuffles his little body toward the end of the table, peeking out from under the tablecloth at Craig skeptically. "You don't look like a guinea pig robot," he says.

"That's exactly what I want you to think," Craig says back.

"What planet are you from?"

"It's top secret," Craig explains, holding his index finger to his lips, "My whole mission is top secret, in fact."

"Mission?" Blue looks like he's getting excited now, if not a little wary, and he fully gets out from under the table, opting to hide behind Tweek and use him as a human shield instead. "What mission?"

Craig shakes his head, "I can't tell you."

"Why noooot?" Blue quietly whines, eyebrows pinched together.

"It's a secret."

"I can keep a secret," Blue mumbles, looking hurt.

Craig gives in then, his eyes softening and it makes Tweek want to kiss him again. Back in the day, it could take forever for Craig to drop a joke but here he was surrendering to a small child just because he looks a little sad.

"Well, okay," Craig says, kneeling down to look Blue in the eye, "My mission is to...um. It's to...defeat our rival race that invaded Earth a few years back."

Blue gasps, "The lizard people?"

Craig snaps his fingers with a nod, "Yup, them, exactly."

"Wow," Blue murmurs in awe, his eyes getting all big with wonder, "That's so cool."

"Bluuuuue!" Molly's voice suddenly calls from upstairs, "Come up here! We want to braid your hair!"

Without a word, Blue dashes off toward the stairs eagerly.

Tweek meets Craig's questioning gaze with a shrug, "Blue likes having his hair braided. He thinks it looks cool."

Craig nods in understanding as he and Tweek sit next to each other at the table, saying, "He's not wrong. If I knew how to braid hair and if my own was long enough, I'd wear one all the time."

"You don't know how to braid hair?"

"Nah."

Tweek stares at him incredulously for a few moments, "What. How?"

This time it's Craig that shrugs, "I dunno. I guess I just never got the chance to learn."

Tweek blinks hard. "You have a sister AND a daughter. They've never tried to teach you?"

"No- Man, leave me alone. You probably don't know how to braid hair either," Craig defends.

Tweek responds by braiding a little piece of his own hair, not breaking eye contact with Craig the whole time. When he's done, he gestures at the tiny braid with both hands, like _you were saying?_

Craig gets quiet, staring blankly back at Tweek, and then he goes, "Well, I can do other things."

"Like what?"

"I can write songs on the spot," Craig claims, making Tweek give him a funny look.

"Really?" Tweek asks skeptically, eyebrow raised.

"Really," Craig insists.

"Okay," Tweek says, sounding like he might drop it. When Craig opens his mouth, to respond or to change the topic, he cuts him off, continuing with, "Prove it, write me one right now."

"Pft, fine," Craig accepts the challenge nonchalantly, drumming a beat on the table and singing a little off key, "I'm sitting in the kitchen, gonna write a song that's bitchin'-" Tweek snorts at this, slapping a hand over his mouth to quiet himself as Craig continues, "Haven't really done this since I was seventeen, now I'm old and working, still just as good at writing love songs-"

"Wait, is this to the tune of _I'm Just a Kid?_ " Tweek asks.

Craig doesn't dignify that with an actual response, though he does exhale through his nose, and continues, "And even though I know it's so wrong, I'm weak, weak, for Tweek Tweak-"

The rest of the words fade into the background as Tweek feels himself get pierced yet again by Cupid's Arrow.

 _Shit, that's good_ , he thinks to himself, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"I bet you can't do that," Craig grins cheekily, apparently finished.

He looks so proud of himself and Tweek suddenly feels competitive, challenging, "No, but I can sing the alphabet while touching the tip of my nose with my tongue."

"No you can't!"

"I'll prove it!"

"Okay, hang on, I've gotta get this on video," Craig laughs, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He scrolls for a bit before giving Tweek the go ahead signal and Tweek salutes him, getting right to it.

The video lasts about 20 seconds and Tweek feels giddy at the impressed look in Craig's eyes as he sets his phone down, "Alright, you win, you're the most talented." He raises his hands in defeat, looking like he might actually bow down.

"Yesss," Tweek does a tiny fist pump in victory, grinning like a maniac and then he feels Craig very gently poke the tiny braid in his hair.

"You know," Craig says, "I kind of like your hair like this."

Taking this as a joke, Tweek laughs, pushing his shoulder, "Pft, shut up."

Craig flashes him the cutest, most boyish smirk Tweek's ever seen, and tells him, "No, I'm serious. It's cute."

His eyes are all soft and sappy looking, like they were after they'd kissed for the first time and for a second, they stare at each other like there's nothing else in the world but the two of them, and oh, Craig's leaning in, he's-

 _California girls, we're unforgettable, daisy dukes, bikinis on top._

Just like that, whatever spell they were under is broken and Craig looks a little embarrassed by his ringtone as he grabs his phone.

"Sorry," he says sincerely, looking like he wants to punch himself in the face, "I've gotta take this, it's Jenny."

He gets up then, walking away to talk to his wife- _his wife, Tweek, do you get that? He's married_ \- and Tweek's fingers brush against the tiny braid in his hair, his mind going back to high school again.

…

Red wanted to hook Craig up with someone.

She liked doing that, matchmaking. Like with Tripply and Emily. It was almost like a hobby of hers.

"Craig hasn't had a girlfriend in forever," Red notes one day during lunch, clearly not okay with that fact, "Tweek, do you know what kind of girl he likes? I'm gonna set him up with someone."

Tweek nearly chokes on his sandwich when she says this, _fuck no, I knew this day would come._

"Uh, no- I'm not sure," Tweek coughs, patting his chest as he recovers from his near death experience.

"Well, do you think he'd like Millie?"

 _He'd probably like her a lot. She's funny and tough and cute._

"No, probably not."

"Then how about Sally Turner?" Red suggests.

 _Sassy and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. Totally Craig's type._

Tweek wrinkles his nose, "Definitely no."

Red looks a little frustrated now, but she continues anyway, "Esther?"

 _Kevin Stoley's twin sister. She could probably tell Craig all the stories about aliens that he wants._

"No," he says with a shake of his head.

Red groans, slamming her hands down on the table and making Tweek flinch, "Well then, who!?" she snaps in desperation.

He opens his mouth to say he's not sure, maybe Craig just isn't the dating type, but then he sees it out of the corner of his eye.

Jenny and Lola walk into the cafeteria, hand and hand, giggling like young schoolgirls. Lola twirls Jenny around, as if they were dancing and they both look so carefree and good together, it makes Tweek a little jealous.

He'd heard rumors that one of them was gay.

Red wasn't going to let him off so easy with the 'I don't know Craigs type' but maybe she'd back off if he at least tried.

He could give her a name and then have that girl be all, "Oh no, I'm sorry, I don't swing that way" and then Red might just give up.

"Jenny," he says, watching them step into the lunch line, swinging their hands between them, "Craig would like Jenny."

 **SATURDAY**

"Are you sure it's the best ideatolet them out without protection?"

It's the day of Lucy's birthday party and Red decided that their kids didn't need three layers of bubble wrap underneath their clothing.

She rolls her eyes as she pulls a striped t-shirt over Blue's head, "They won't die from being outside, Tweek, yeesh."

He almost argues with her, but then he sees the tired look on Molly's face and thinks better of it.

 _No more yelling in front of the kids. No more scaring them._

"Annnnnnd we're all set," Red announces as she zips up Blue's jacket. She looks at her boys face and his lips pull up at the corners into a tiny smile at the attention. Sighing, she pats his cheek, "You look way too much like my cousin, ya know?"

Blue nods so hard Tweek worries he'll give himself a headache, "I know!"

And of course he knows.

It's what everyone says the first time they see him.

…

Even when Blue was first born.

Molly was four years old then and she seemed excited to be having a little brother. She was less excited with Red's absence, coloring picture after picture of Red and padding into her parents bedroom in the dead of night to be comforted by her father.

Today though, she had a skip in her step.

Not only was she going to be reunited with her momma, she was going to meet her new baby brother.

"Remember Molly, behaveyourselfin there," Tweek gently reminds her right before they enter Red's room.

Molly puffs her cheeks out, wiggling around impatiently, "I know daddy! Hurry up, let's go!"

She tugs his hand and he sucks in a deep breath before pushing the door open. Laura and Ruby Tucker are already in there, Ruby seated right next to an exhausted Red on the bed.

As soon as she spots Molly, Red brightens, sitting up a little straighter and holding her arms out, "Molly!"

"Momma!" Molly cries, pulling out of Tweek's grip and scurrying over to her mother. Laura laughs, helping the little one climb onto the bed and into her mothers arms.

"Someone's a momma's girl," Laura snickers, watching Molly cuddle up against Red's side.

Red runs his fingers through her baby girls hair, smiling so hard it must hurt, "I missed you so much, baby! Did ya miss me?"

"Yes!" Molly chirps without any hesitation, giggling when Red tickles her tummy.

Tweek lingers by the door, feeling like an outsider. Red notices him shuffling his feet, and nods her head toward the little box on the side of the room with their newborn son inside of it.

"Don't just stand there, hold your son."

His breath catches in his throat, and they lock eyes for a few moments, a silent understanding passing between them. It's something Tweek thinks about often later, when he wonders if he made it up. Molly is Red's, Blue is his.

Maybe it's not good to divvy up their kids like that, but that's what seemed to happen naturally anyway. Molly preferred Red, Blue preferred Tweek.

He takes his son into his arms very carefully, almost tearing up at the sight of his tiny son's face.

"I held him earlier," Laura says from the other side of the room, "He's got Craig's eyes."

As if on cue, Blue makes a soft sound, his little eyes fluttering open like he knows he's being talked about. His eyes are blue like Red's, but they're the same shade and shape as Craig's.

"He's got Craig's whole face," Ruby laughs, sounding amused by the whole thing, "Your only son and he looks like Craig."

Tweek holds Blue a little closer after that, completely okay with Ruby's observation.

"He's at least got Tweek's hair," Red points out.

That was true too. Blue already had a good amount of messy strawberry blond hair that stuck out at every direction and he was barely two days old.

Ruby lets out a dramatic gasp, setting her hand over her chest, "Holy shit, you gave birth to their baby!"

"Shit," Red says, sounding scandalized, "I did."

Tweek smiles softly, running his finger along Blue's smooth cheek.

…

"Blue looks more like Craig than Trish does," Tweek mentions to Red when they're walking up to Ruby and Karen's house, keeping his voice low so Molly and Blue won't hear.

He'd been thinking about that for a while, maybe even overthinking, but Trish didn't seem to have any of Craig's facial features.

Red snorts, waving it off, "Trish is Jenny all over again and Todd is Craig all over again. 'Cept, Todd is cuter."

"Hey guys!" Ruby greets them as they step into her house. She looks tired but satisfied, some silly string caught in her hair that had been tied into two braids. "Glad you could make it! Party's outside, Karen's out there making sure Kenny keeps the songs PG."

"Aw man, Kenny's the DJ?" Red tsks, shaking her head, "I'm insulted I wasn't asked first."

"You're harder to control than he is," Ruby explains with a shrug before kneeling down to address Blue, "Hey small stuff, Lucy's been waitin' for ya all day."

Blue blanches, shifting a bit so he's half hidden behind Molly who tries her hardest not to laugh.

"This is for Lu," Molly manages through stifled giggles, holding out a small box.

Ruby takes it, fist bumping Molly when the exchange is complete, "I'm sure Luce will love it- why don't you guys go outside and see her? I've gotta finish something up in here."

As soon as they get outside, Blue sprints to one of the tables before Lucy can see him, ducking under it to hide himself.

"That kid," Red mutters, nudging Molly toward the table.

Just as Tweek turns to follow, he feels a pair of little arms wrap around his legs.

"Uncle Tweek and Aunt Red are here!" Lucy squeals, squeezing her uncles legs excitedly.

"Hey birthday girl!" Red says, picking the small girl up and resting her on her hip "Are all of your little friends here?"

Lucy nods fervently, her dark pigtails swaying with the action, and she points a chubby finger toward her bounce house. "Uh huh! Lil and Shane are here, and so are my cousins- oh, oh! And Nathan and Bea are here too!"

"Wow, that's so nice!" Red says, grinning from ear to ear.

She puts Lucy down when the other kids start calling for her, just about melting when Lucy turns to wave and say, "Bye bye!"

"I miss when Molly and Blue were that small," Red sighs as they slide into the lawn chairs Ruby and Karen had set up at the tables.

Tweek nods in agreement, something rare when it comes to Red.

Kevin McCormick, who happened to be sitting a few chairs away, grunts, "Time for another baby, is it?"

Tweek and Red exchange a look.

"No," they say in unison, their eyes hard.

Not with each other at least.

Red leans forward to get a better look at Kevin, her face painted with mischief, "What about you? Shelly want any more?"

"Hell no," Kevin chuckles, popping open his beer can, "I ain't Kenny, four is enough for me."

"Awww, c'mon Kev. Don't be a quitter, you could totally break his record."

"Nope, nah, not happenin'," Kevin says, shaking his head in finality.

Kevin and Red go back and forth like this for a while, Tweek tuning them out in favor of watching Molly try to coax Blue out from his hiding spot. She's holding up the plastic tablecloth so she can look at him and so far she's offered him first dibs on the remote AND the bathroom but stubborn little Blue still refuses.

"Blue, come on! I'll give you my Halloween candy!"

"No!" Blue squeaks defiantly, trying to pull the tablecloth back down to hide himself.

"Really? You're saying no to candy?"

"It's _Halloween_ candy! I'll choke on a razor blade!"

"No you won't!"

"Yes I will!"

Molly opens her mouth to argue but she must spot something out of the corner of her eye, because she clamps her mouth shut, brightening up.

"Trishy and Todd are here!" Lucy squeals from across the yard and Tweek turns just in time to see her launch herself at Trish.

"Is that who I think it is?" Kevin says, a smirk in his voice. Tweek doesn't have to ask to know who he's talking about.

Craig and Jenny Tucker are all smiles and laughs as they discuss something with Karen, who looks even more excited than Lucy as she pulls them both in for a group hug.

"Trish!" Molly calls out, getting up to meet her halfway.

Trish tries to put Lucy down, but can't because the girl clings to her like a spidermonkey. She gives up after a few moments of trying to pry her off, and ends up carrying her to Molly. The two of them exchange some words and then Trish turns to call out for her brother, who pads over with Billy McCormick on his heels.

The next thing Tweek knows Todd and Billy are crouched down next to their table, both of them calling, "Blue? Bluuuuuue?"

"We know you're under there, your sister told us," Billy says, rubbing at some of the dirt on his face.

Blue makes a small sound and the two boys share a look, Todd inching a little closer to their target.

"Why don't you come out and play with us? Hide and seek isn't that much fun with just two of us," Todd tells him.

"Play with the other kids," Blue says stubbornly.

"But we wanna play with you!" Todd insists, crawling under the table to get closer.

"Why?"

"Because you're my cousin," Todd says simply and although he's out of sight, Tweek's sure he shrugged his shoulders, just like Craig does when he says something like that.

Blue's quiet for a second and then him and Todd both emerge from under the table, running off with Billy to play.

He sees Karen tugging Jenny over to their table, just as Kevin gets up, saying, "I haven't talked to Craig in a while," and leaving.

"Hey! Red! Ruby wants your help in the kitchen," Karen says, sitting down with Jenny.

Red nods, "On it," and just like that, she's gone.

It feels a little awkward, being at the same table as Jenny after he'd made out with her husband just the week before and Karen must feel it too because she fidgets a bit.

"So!" Karen says, breaking the silence, "Lucy's super excited to have all her cousins in one place!"

"Aww!" Jenny coos, folding her hands together, "I hope she likes what we got her."

"Ah, don't worry too much about that," Karen says with a wave of her hand, "Lucy likes everything. She played with a stick for an hour once, no joke." She shifts in her seat a bit, so she can watch her baby girl play with her friends. "So hey, is it just us or do your kids have issues flipping the bird too?"

"Trish does it all the time," Jenny complains, scrunching her nose up.

"Molly does too," Tweek adds. "I'm not even sure where she got that from. Me and Red don't do that."

"Must be the Tucker genes," Karen guesses, ignoring that her daughter is adopted.

"They could've just gotten it from watching another close relative!" Jenny chirps, sounding oddly urgent, "I'm pretty sure Trish got it from watching Craig."

Karen laughs suddenly, "It's funny to think the three of us-" she gestures to both Jenny and Tweek, then herself, "-are kind of related now. We're all so different but we're all married to Tuckers."

"The Tuckers are all different too," Jenny points out, "Craig's definitely the nerdiest one. A few years back he tried to convince me he saw a UFO and was telling me all of these alien facts, I was laughing so hard."

Tweek ears perk up a bit at this and he makes a mental note to ask Craig about it later.

Karen blushes, looking a little flustered as she says, "Ruby's the most badass. When we were in 10th grade, she decked a senior for harassing us."

They both look at Tweek expectantly, and just as he's calling on his acting skills, Kenny unknowingly comes to his rescue.

 _SWEAT BABY, SWEAT BABY, SEX IS A TEXAS DROUGHT_

Both Karen and Jenny whip their heads around to stare at Kenny in horror.

Just as Karen shoots up to stop him, Jenny notices Todd with Billy and Blue, the three of them dancing and singing along like they'd heard this song a thousand times before.

"Todd Tucker!" she yells, jumping to her feet and racing over to him.

Tweek considers going over to stop Blue but then he figures he's heard a lot worse at home when he and Red get into one of their screaming matches.

 _Good job on fucking up your kids, Tweak._

Just as his hands start to reach for his hair, he hears a voice behind him say, "You know, I don't know what bugs me more. Todd knowing the words to _Bad Touch_ or Ruby's classmates having kids."

Craig.

It's Craig.

He sits himself down on the chair next to Tweek, smiling that quirky little half smile he does.

Tweek smiles warmly at him, positioning himself so they're face to face.

"Why would Ruby's classmates having kids bother you?"

"Because I still see them as little kids, man," Craig explains, "It's weird enough seeing everyone in our grade with kids, but this is just trippy."

Tweek snickers, his nose scrunching up.

"Speaking of trippy….Jenny told me you saw a UFO."

Craig gets excited then, his eyes going wide, "I SAW IT! I swear, it was like 11 at night and it was right above the house, it was triangular and _I saw it_ and it was awesome."

"I believe you!" Tweek says, beaming as scoots his seat a little closer, "Did it have lights too? How did you see it?"

"It did have lights! They were flashing, I saw it when I was taking out the trash and _man_ I wish you would've been there, it was crazy!"

Craig rambles on and on, moving his hands as he talks and Tweek's so into it, he almost doesn't notice Red watching them, her face stony.

He watches as she approaches Jenny, muttering something to her and then Jenny's right next to them, squeezing Craig's shoulder.

"Hey babe," she says, cutting him off from his explanation of UFO's, "Wanna go dance and embarrass our kids? Everyone else is doing it."

She gestures toward where Kenny has his laptop and speakers set up, Karen and Ruby dancing with each other like total dorks in front of it. Their classmates are dancing too, either oblivious or uncaring of their older kids mortified faces.

"Okay," Craig says, sounding a little disappointed. He pats Tweek's knee as he gets up to leave, telling him, "I'll see you later."

"See you," Tweek mouths as Jenny leads Craig away.

He watches them for a bit, her arms around his neck and his hands on her hips, rubbing small circles into them with his thumbs.

A pang of jealousy hits him and he tears his eyes away only for them to land on Red's.

…

"Hey."

Molly is six, Blue is two.

They're both sound asleep in their tiny beds, blissfully unaware of what's about to happen.

Red and Tweek don't hate each other yet.

"Are you okay….?" Red asks gently, sitting down next to Tweek on the couch. She wraps an arm around him, pulling him close. "You've seemed down for a really long time…."

"I miss Craig," Tweek tells her honestly, resting his head on her shoulder.

Red hums quietly, running her free hand through his wild hair.

"Craig's been gone for years now," she points out.

Tweek stays quiet, staring ahead blankly.

Red sighs before continuing, "I know it hurts to lose a best friend- Trust me, I know- but it's time to move on, Tweek. Craig's never coming back, he's been waiting to get the hell out of here since we were in preschool."

"I know," Tweek mumbles, "I've tried to move on but I can't stop thinking about him. I worryabouthim all the time-"

"Shhh, shhh," Red interrupts, patting him gently, "You just have to try harder."

"I love him," Tweek suddenly says.

Everything seems to stop at once.

They both go completely still, Tweek in horror at saying that our loud and Red from shock.

"….what..." she almost whispers after a few seconds.

Up until this point, he'd considered Red a best friend.

Best friends should tell each other everything, right?

They could come to some sort of understanding….right?

At the time, he thinks it'll be best to come clean, and so he does, spilling everything, from that first time at the school dance in fifth grade to the last time he'd seen Craig.

Red listens to the whole thing, her jaw clenched by the end.

"You were supposed to be a safe bet."

"What?"

"You were supposed to be a safe bet!" she nearly shouts, standing up.

"What thehelllis that supposed to mean!?" Tweek snaps back.

"You know! You're Tweek, I figured you'd never cheat or leave or anything like that no matter what happened!"

"Is that the wholereasonyou're with me?!"

Red's expression goes from upset to uncomfortable and she looks away from him.

"Why didn'tyoujust stay with Kevin Stoley then?!"

"Girls were starting to like him! I didn't- I-….I figured he'd leave me for one of them sooner or later so I just cut it off before that could happen."

"Yeah, that's smart."

"Really? _You're_ saying that to _me_? You tried using me to get over my cousin!"

"You usedmetoo apparently! Did you even _like_ me?"

"Does it matter?! I was just trying to be practical!"

"You're theonethat started all of this, if you wouldn't haveaskedme out-"

" _You said yes!"_

They glare at each other, both of them panting from screaming so loudly.

From upstairs, Blue starts crying, rudely awakened by all the noise.

"Fucking great," Red hisses, making for the stairway.

Tweek follows after her, "So what now? Do we get divorced?"

"Don't be stupid," she snaps, "We're not putting Molly and Blue through that. We're just going to act like this conversation never happened."

"Red, that seems a little-"

"It didn't happen!" She says louder, nearly slamming Blue's bedroom door open. "Don't bring it up again."


End file.
